tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91863457369506118142024-02-07T00:40:06.963-08:00ChrontendoEvery Nintendo Game In Chronological OrderDoctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.comBlogger263125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-18391781291061951152017-01-31T17:14:00.000-08:002017-01-31T17:14:01.948-08:00A Personal Note<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Chrontendo Blog is rarely updated nowadays. I think most people check Twitter or Youtube for updates instead. It's been a difficult week for me. We lost our dog Molly on Saturday, and I felt the need to say more about it than I could in a series of Tweets.<br />
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Molly was not a young dog; she was 13. However, the suddenness of her passing was shocking. Prior to last weekend she appeared to be in excellent shape. The Friday before last we noticed her walking a little stiffly and acting lethargic. We also found a swelling in her ear, which concerned us. I thought she may have been bitten by a spider or was suffering from an infection. We took her to the vet on Sunday, where we learned the swelling in the ear was not serious or uncommon by itself. However the doctor wanted to run some blood tests to find out what was causing her lack of energy.<br />
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On Tuesday we got the results of the blood tests, which showed Molly had a low red blood cell count. The doctor suggested that an ultrasound be done to look for abnormalities in her organs. I took her in for the ultrasound on Wednesday, and at this point, I was not terribly worried. I'd had anemia myself at one point and it just required me to take iron supplements.<br />
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Wednesday afternoon the doctor called me back with bad news. Molly's ultrasound showed cancerous tumors on her liver and spleen. The low red cell count was due to internal blood loss. There was nothing that could be done to save her. I asked the vet how much time she had, and he replied that she might not even last through the night. Probably a week at most. Molly seemed tired but comfortable on Thursday and Friday. By Saturday, she was showing signs of distress, so we took her into the vet to be put to sleep. Again -- the thing that shocked us the most was how sudden this all happened. Molly hadn't been displaying any signs of bad health and was in remarkably good shape for her age. She was stronger and more energetic than our other dog, Gigi, who is also 13, and we always assumed that Molly would outlive Gigi. I am still having difficulty processing the fact that Molly is no longer with us.<br />
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Her death hit both of us pretty hard. This was the first time in our adult lives that either of us had to deal with the loss of a dog. We got Gigi a few years after we bought our house and Molly followed a little later. After all these years of having Molly here with us, it's hard to wake up and realize she's no longer with us. We've had pet cats die since we've been living together, and while I don't mean to diminish the loss cat owners feel, having a dog die was much more difficult.<br />
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Molly really was one of the greatest dogs I have ever known. She almost certainly saved two people's lives. My mother found her in an animal shelter, two days before she was scheduled to be killed. She was around 6 months old and appeared to have been abused. She was terrified of me at first; in fact she was terrified of any man. If I approached her with my hand in the air, she would cringe. It required a lot of work and patience, but eventually Molly became a fearless, devoted and loving dog. She was incredibly protective. I don't doubt for a minute that would have given her life to protect me or my wife from harm.<br />
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My mother would not be alive today if weren't for Molly. Around a decade ago, Molly began sniffing at my mother's chest obsessively and making whimpering or growling noises. She did this consistently until my mother got concerned and went to her doctor for a checkup. Testing revealed she had stage 4 breast cancer. The cancer had spread enough that my mother's doctor didn't give her good odds of surviving. She made it through surgery and chemotherapy, but if she had found out about the cancer later, it would have been too late. Incredibly, Molly detected breast cancer in another woman a couple years later, who, again, was able to get treatment in time.<br />
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I worry a lot about Gigi, and how she'll handle Molly no longer being here. Gigi is pretty old herself and I know she misses Molly. There are times when she appears to be walking around the house looking for her. Sometimes I instinctively glance at a dog bed to see if Molly is lying down in it. I've gotten so accustomed to seeing her every day it's hard to accept she's gone. She gave so much of herself to us, I feel like I've betrayed her by not being able to save her. I know we'll eventually accept Molly's death, but for the moment, we are missing her greatly.<br />
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My apologies for this depressing post, and thanks for hearing me out. I'll update the blog again shortly when Chrontendo Episode 51 is ready, which should be in the near future.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-18215412416720618032016-09-10T23:34:00.005-07:002016-09-12T13:51:57.564-07:00Extremely Delayed UpdateYou might be tempted to think I've abandoned this blog. Yet here I am with a new post. A couple things happened since the last post. Obviously Chrontendo Episode 49 was released.<br />
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And now, Chrontendo Episode 50 is also out! As always you can <a href="https://youtu.be/RaAe0qXhAeo" target="_blank">stream it on Youtube</a> in high-ish def ad 60 fps, or you can download it on Archive. There are a few video options.<br />
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The purest, least processed version is the 480p AVI file <a href="https://archive.org/download/ChrontendoEpisode50/Chrontendo%20Episode%2050.avi" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
There is a also a large 720p mkv version <a href="https://archive.org/download/ChrontendoEpisode50/Episode50720p.mkv" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
And a smaller 720p mkv <a href="https://archive.org/download/ChrontendoEpisode50/Episode50720pSmall.mkv" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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There is are also mp4 versions of the about two files. You can see all the downloads <a href="https://archive.org/download/ChrontendoEpisode50" target="_blank">here</a>, but avoid any version not mentioned above.<br />
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Chrontendo Episode 50 has one of the worst selection of games of any episode so far. A couple decent titles, <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i> and <i><b>Super Spike V'Bal</b><b>l</b></i> turn up, but the remainder is mostly crap from the likes of Beam, Rare, Tose and the like.<br />
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To fill out this episode with something worthwhile, I included the 1989 computer game roundup. A look at some of the highlights (and a few lowlights, like the amazing <i><b>David Wolf: Secret Agent</b></i>), the round up takes a good 30 minutes of Episode 50's run time. The most well known computer games from 89 would be <i><b>Sim City</b></i>, <i><b>Populous</b></i>, and <i><b>Prince of Persia</b></i>, but there are plenty of lesser known important titles like <i><b>Catacomb </b></i>(essentially the 2D blueprint for <i><b>Doom</b></i>) and <i><b>Harpoon</b></i> (considered to be the greatest naval warfare simulation game of all time). The overall narrative of the history of computer gaming in the late 80s and early 90 is: a) the triumph of the DOS based PC over its competitors and b) the ever increasing graphical powers of PCs, when led to the transition from 2D games to 3D games. We see a number of early, almost forgotten 3D games in this episode, including <i><b>Interphase </b></i>and <i><b>Archipelagos</b></i>.<br />
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The highlights of Episode 50 are two reasonably fun/competent sports games <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i> and <i><b>Super Spike V'Ball</b></i>. <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i>, perhaps the first all-furry baseball videogame, is a crudely made yet creative and fun game featuring a bizarre roster of animal and monster players. It was made significantly less weird for the US market and released as <i><b>Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball</b></i>. Technos Japan's<i><b> Super Spike V'Ball</b></i> is a less creative, though sturdily designed volleyball game.<br />
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On the lower end of the spectrum we have... well, almost everything else. <i><b>The Three Stooges</b></i> is a port of the Cinemaware Amiga game and my least favorite game this episode. A hastily slapped together collection of bad minigames, the Amiga version at least had nice sound and graphics. The NES port, developed by Beam (seen last episode with their <i><b>Back to the Future</b></i>) is a ugly unpleasant mess.<br />
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Episode 50 breaks the baseball game record with four baseball games total. Aside from <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i> we have:<br />
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<i><b>Kattobi! Warabe Ko</b></i><br />
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This is a rather odd card-based game taken from a manga. Published by Pack-in-Video.<br />
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<i><b>Choujin Ultra Baseball</b></i>/<i><b>Baseball Simulator 1.000</b></i><br />
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Similar to <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i>, this Culture Brain title features players with superhuman baseball abilities. Too bad they released under the incredibly boring and inappropriate name <i><b>Baseball Simulator 1.000</b></i> in the US.<br />
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<i><b>Major League</b></i><br />
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Yes, a Japan only game based on <i><b>Major League</b></i>, the movie with Charlie Sheen. Sadly, after the opening scenes, it's a totally generic baseball game.<br />
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Tose developed <i><b>Softball Tengoku</b></i>, and they were responsible for two other games this episode:<br />
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<i><b>Tashiro Masashi no Princess ga Ippai</b></i><br />
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Fan translated under the absurd title <i><b>Princesstual Orgy</b></i>, this action platformer stars the (now disgraced) comedian Tashiro Masashi. A relatively nice looking game from Tose, it's absolutely sunk by the horrible slippery controls and terrible level design. A shame since I was looking forward to this one based in it's loony title.<br />
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<i><b>Dragon Ball 3: Gokuuden</b></i><br />
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Tose games are actually getting pretty slick at times. An RPG/card game/board game based on the manga and anime. A little prettier than the last Dragon Ball game.<br />
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Rounding out the detritus:<br />
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<i><b>Dungeon Magic</b></i><br />
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Published by Natsume in Japan and by Taito in the US, this is one of few Japanese developed games that attempts to imitate the <i><b>Bard's Tale</b></i> style of western RPG. The results are shockingly ugly, but it turns out this game has its fans.<br />
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<i><b>Jeopardy Jr Edition</b></i>/<i><b>Wheel of Fortune Jr Edition</b></i><br />
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Two very slightly revised versions of these Rare/Game Tek titles from 1988. Rare just went in, slightly altered some graphics and replaced the questions/puzzles with easier ones aimed at younger kids. <br />
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<i><b>Stealth ATF</b></i><br />
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Cashing in on the interest surrounding the recently unveiled stealth fighter, this gem from Activision/Imagineering feels like the lost cousin of <i><b>Top Gun</b></i>, right down to a plane that's impossible to land without crashing.<br />
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<i><b>Gozonji Yaji Kita Chindochū</b></i><br />
Yet another humorous menu based adventure game, this time from HAL.<br />
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<i><b>Twin Eagle</b></i><br />
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One of the rare instances where a game is released in the US first, then much later in Japan. The original arcade game was not particularly notable. This NES port is notable for being one of the worst shoot-em-ups on the system.<br />
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<i><b>Mahjong Taikai</b></i><br />
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Of course there's a mahjong game. This is published by Koei, strangely enough. It's a port of a computer game in which famous historical figures face off in a game of mahjong.<br />
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Coming soon is a Video Nasties double header! Two episodes back to back featuring Lucio Fulci's <i><b>The Beyond</b></i> and <i><b>The House by the Cemetery.</b></i><br />
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After that, Episode 51 will finally take us to December 1989! Highlights include <i><b>Square's Tom Sawyer</b></i> and an almost forgotten game published by Nintendo.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-79536051697729439192016-01-22T17:19:00.001-08:002016-01-22T17:19:42.293-08:00Video Nasties Episode 3!Seems like I hardly ever update this damn blog anymore, but here's the latest scoop.<br />
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The newest video on the Dr. Sparkle After Dark channel has been posted. In response to Wes Craven's death, I decided to cover 1972's <i><b>Last House on the Left</b></i>, which was produced by Sean Cunningham and written/directed by Craven. Aside from the 1080p Youtube version, you can find downloadable <a href="https://archive.org/details/VNEpisode3" target="_blank">versions on Archive</a> in 1080p, 720p, and a smaller sized 720p formats.<br />
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Aside from discussing the film itself, I go into a bit of professional history of some of the cast and crew. Craven's work in the porn industry is somewhat well known, though little discussed. Additionally, several members of the cast, namely Sandra Cassel & Lucy Grantham, who played Mari & Phylis, as well as Fred Lincoln (Weasel<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">) and 'Gaylord St James' (Dr Collingwood</span><span class="post-count" dir="ltr">), had history in the sex movie industry. Lincoln, in particular, was an extremely prolific actor and director, who worked in the porn biz until two years before his death in 2013. He was also the co-owner of the notorious NYC swinger's club Plato's Retreat. (Richard Dreyfuss was a regular there. Jeramie Rain, who played Sadie in <i><b>Last House</b></i>, married Dreyfuss a few years after Plato's Retreat opened. Coincidence?</span><span class="post-count" dir="ltr">)</span><br />
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">One way to look at <i><b>Last House </b></i>is that it is a porn movie without hardcore sex. It was originally planned to be a sexually explicit film. This element was dropped in pre-production, but it does explain the casting of several porn actors. There were also numerous ties, both personal and professional, among the cast and crew. For example, Fred Lincoln and Lucy Grantham were dating at the time; David Hess was dating Martin Kove's sister, and so on. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmA776gJhKDQAW5njEZc8WjIwCXSJ4veGsNilpIwQrpu1AhcEWXLIZZ9GwMhkKPqIgvfkpKldpTHHDa45ycyYg13xXd-_EsbdOysO8ySWWa427QT50tohrYc19iLHA5PhJeFVKH1Df1wM/s1600/lh.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmA776gJhKDQAW5njEZc8WjIwCXSJ4veGsNilpIwQrpu1AhcEWXLIZZ9GwMhkKPqIgvfkpKldpTHHDa45ycyYg13xXd-_EsbdOysO8ySWWa427QT50tohrYc19iLHA5PhJeFVKH1Df1wM/s640/lh.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">One thing about <i><b>Last House</b></i> that really bothers people is the severe tonal shifts throughout the film. Scenes of psychological torture and violence are intercut with the goofy antics of the local sheriff and deputy. The music (by David Hess</span><span class="post-count" dir="ltr"><span class="post-count" dir="ltr">) </span>appears to be wildly inappropriate at times. The killers' theme song is a rollicking bluegrass-y number that refers to Krug, Sadie, etc as a "quartet in harmony/barbershop band" and describes the film's murders and rapes as a fun little afternoon outing.</span><br />
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">The first time I saw <i><b>Last House</b></i>, the silly humor and inappropriate music struck me was being very strange. Having seen it a couple more times over the years, and then scouring every inch of the film while editing the video, I realize these elements are essential to <i><b>Last House</b></i>'s artistic success. The lighthearted moments not only keep <i><b>Last House</b></i> from being 90 minutes of unrelenting bleakness, but also provide enough contrast to make brutal moments feel that much more brutal. </span><br />
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">The use of irony, especially in the soundtrack, acts as a distancing technique. Craven must have picked this up from studying Europeans films such as those by Bergman. Watching it now, I can see its art film roots much more clearly than I could when I was younger. For a debut film,<i><b> Last House on the Left</b></i> is surprisingly sophisticated.</span><br />
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">Next up is Chrontendo 49, which will cover a bunch of crap along the lines of LJN's <i><b>B</b><b>ack to the Future</b></i> and <i><b>Who Framed Roger Rabbit</b></i>. A pretty rough episode, for the most part, considering it also has a <i><b>Hokuto no Ken</b></i> RPG and another Japan-only adventure game from Nintendo.</span><br />
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<span class="post-count" dir="ltr">When The Video Nasties return, it will cover the bizarre 1980 horror movie <i><b>The Frozen Scream</b></i>, which was recently released in a pretty watchable edition, taken from the original negative, for the first time.</span>Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-26960007705721417182015-11-11T15:35:00.000-08:002015-11-11T15:35:12.455-08:00Here It Is: Chronturbo 5As many of you have already noticed, the new Chronturbo is now up on <a href="https://youtu.be/e94AuigbW1w" target="_blank">Youtube </a>and <a href="https://archive.org/details/ChronturboVolume5" target="_blank">Archive</a>. Youtube now has the ability to stream 60 fps for 720p videos, though if you want to download the original, not-reprocessed-by-Youtube, file, then Archive is still the place to go.<br />
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We have a big fat three CD-ROM games this time: two arcade ports and one original title from the folks who gave us <i><b>Valis II</b></i>. As I <a href="http://chrontendo.blogspot.com/2015/08/one-bizarre-game-to-be-featured-in.html" target="_blank">mentioned earlier</a>, <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i>, despite being a golf game, has a lot of similarities to <i><b>Valis II</b></i>. The other two CD games are <i><b>Wonder Boy III: Monster Lair</b></i>, which is pretty straightforward port of the arcade game, and <i><b>Juuouki </b></i>AKA <i><b>Altered Beast</b></i>. This port of Altered Beast is pretty terrible -- the graphics are ugly and it controls are sluggish. However Hudson did add a semi-animated intro with sound and music. By semi-animated I mean that it simply uses pans and zooms of static artwork.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0O9CoEIhdW2eQV_vzqo7YHLk0fypkesWXWmduPKvjUryWT7ySn73JEUe6p0ee_OjLPGFynJthOmOVLDqS1tkdFp7dswM2gBr9_wva0HRLgpbaP8xAEAIAlj-BIfwAPCPZ3ZV1uA4jdiw/s1600/wonderboy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0O9CoEIhdW2eQV_vzqo7YHLk0fypkesWXWmduPKvjUryWT7ySn73JEUe6p0ee_OjLPGFynJthOmOVLDqS1tkdFp7dswM2gBr9_wva0HRLgpbaP8xAEAIAlj-BIfwAPCPZ3ZV1uA4jdiw/s400/wonderboy.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wonder Boy</td></tr>
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Tacking on a PC-Engine exclusive intro onto a port would be a pretty common tactic throughout the console's lifespan. The unusual thing about the PC-Engine <i><b>Altered Beast</b></i> is that it was released on both CD-ROM and HuCard a week apart. The two versions are almost identical, except for the HuCard missing the intro and some voice/music samples. Off the top of my head, I can't think of another game that got released in both formats simultaneously.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTgjhXjSRQicn5Y4JkIbx_H9RXshphHms68-G0Y5GPSqufu7DeTOeju4Y2RdUPIdPGtPDDLuGeswAyXvUXowyiohk8k6boU-VvjgbyFtyt5xRd3itaJpGcI1yd9JBW3n-RLLOUluMLUiI/s1600/sidearms.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTgjhXjSRQicn5Y4JkIbx_H9RXshphHms68-G0Y5GPSqufu7DeTOeju4Y2RdUPIdPGtPDDLuGeswAyXvUXowyiohk8k6boU-VvjgbyFtyt5xRd3itaJpGcI1yd9JBW3n-RLLOUluMLUiI/s400/sidearms.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Side Arms</td></tr>
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We have several arcade ports this time, of games originally from Capcom, Namco, Jaleco and Data East. <i><b>Side Arms</b></i> and <i><b>Ordyne</b></i> are both horizontal shoot-em-ups. <i><b>Bloody Wolf</b></i>, probably the best game this episode, is a radically altered version of Data East's <i><b>Mercs </b></i>clone. <i><b>F-1 Dream</b></i> is an archaic-looking racing game which has been altered quite a bit as well. The biggest weaknesses of <i><b>Side Arms</b></i> and <i><b>Bloody Wolf</b></i> is that, despite having been originally designed for two players, only a single player mode is available on the PC Engine ports. <i><b>Takeda Shingen</b></i> is not the same game as <i><b>Shingen the Ruler</b></i> for the FC/NES, but is a horribly botched port of a beat-em-up from Jaleco.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFW39zqYoL9NrGPWzm4giW9bQgUNpHmAspMqVYABWkwPg_OtaXXAD0ScLLhbZk-lgczE6iQ0OhIC-f_nLD0oirDJHniIpobj-43iMhwJ0cLiz3NSVcpf1SOYrr1aTpA31y5JGPllT2OfY/s1600/rockon+%25282%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFW39zqYoL9NrGPWzm4giW9bQgUNpHmAspMqVYABWkwPg_OtaXXAD0ScLLhbZk-lgczE6iQ0OhIC-f_nLD0oirDJHniIpobj-43iMhwJ0cLiz3NSVcpf1SOYrr1aTpA31y5JGPllT2OfY/s400/rockon+%25282%2529.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rock On</td></tr>
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The rest are all original titles, most of which aren't very good. The most offensively terrible is <i><b>Rock On</b></i>, a bizarre and amateurishly made horizontal shooter from Big Club/Manjyudo. The last game we saw from these guys which a weird<i><b> Space Harrier</b></i> clone. Aside from being extremely dull, stealing one boss directly from <i><b>R-Type</b></i>, and having waaayy too many power-ups floating around, <i><b>Rock On</b></i> is notable for its utterly insane Engrish-y opening text scroll.<br />
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<i><b>Deep Dungeons</b></i><br />
Boring, pointless dungeon crawler. Only of interest to those to love to draw huge maps on graph paper. Excellent graphics/animation of moving through the dungeon, however.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6X8g_0Qxib0nbC0_Q2tvlamm6GJG1-NMAJN1tRckpQAM4ZwEy5zuBJtrAdpfcPLbPfj3GID1tI_otA311tFtctOpNi2n4CCi_SjB3cGYvs0G99o4Pm6vlwhy_Xzq0wxB9K0d_Db4zqBY/s1600/poweleague.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6X8g_0Qxib0nbC0_Q2tvlamm6GJG1-NMAJN1tRckpQAM4ZwEy5zuBJtrAdpfcPLbPfj3GID1tI_otA311tFtctOpNi2n4CCi_SjB3cGYvs0G99o4Pm6vlwhy_Xzq0wxB9K0d_Db4zqBY/s400/poweleague.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Power League II</td></tr>
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<i><b> Power League II</b></i><br />
Sequel to <i><b>Power League</b></i>/<i><b>World Class Baseball</b></i>. Neither this nor any of the other <i><b>Power League</b></i> sequels got a US release. Standard baseball game.<br />
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<i><b>Break In</b></i><br />
This is actually a good billiards game with lots of game options, modes, etc. It's from Naxat, so the graphics and music are pretty darned solid.<br />
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<i><b>Maison Ikokku</b></i><br />
A port of a MSX/FM7 adventure game based on the popular Rumiko Takahashi manga. We encountered the Famicom version in an earlier episode of Chrontendo. Luckily the PC Engine port has a quality English translation available, so if you're interested in adventure games for this console, this is one of the very few English options.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1vZr9_uMxCqZ4xl6lkhNyxLEvFnsj5GqDdz6FzmQlKAY46TltGqdv6FMJmOoGusHBieJgUqjuUtWzLSNiHMW1Y4aaVdXdWSS1FgbGj4ZnnP8i4y8Mzdbyehea4kJZP5igiP1fvO4q5zQ/s1600/momotaro.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1vZr9_uMxCqZ4xl6lkhNyxLEvFnsj5GqDdz6FzmQlKAY46TltGqdv6FMJmOoGusHBieJgUqjuUtWzLSNiHMW1Y4aaVdXdWSS1FgbGj4ZnnP8i4y8Mzdbyehea4kJZP5igiP1fvO4q5zQ/s400/momotaro.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Momotaro Dentetsu</td></tr>
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<i><b>Super Momotaro Dentetsu</b></i><br />
A big game in Japan, I'm sure. Hudson moves it's popular railway board game to the PC Engine for the second entry in the series. Though in 2015 Nintendo got the last laugh, as it appears future entries the series will be published by them, due to the collapse of Konami.<br />
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<i><b>Artist Tool</b></i><br />
Not a real game, but instead an extremely basic drawing program. Three hardware accessories were available - a drawing tablet/stylus, a printer, and a scanner of some sort. The game and the accessories are somewhat rare and expensive now.<br />
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We are going to switch over to the Famicom/NES next, but when we do return to the PC Engine, we'll reach up to early December 1989, and get to see some mahjong games, a golf game, and one of the ever-popular business simulation games.<br />
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In the very near future, though, we'll have a small update to the Video Nasties series on the Dr. Sparkle After Dark channel.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-31397712017221673292015-08-10T14:20:00.001-07:002015-08-10T14:23:20.963-07:00Coming Soon: Chronturbo 5One bizarre game to be featured in Chronturbo 5 is <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i>. This is one of three CD-ROM² games this episode. The odd thing is that <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i> is a golf game, which seems like a strange choice for the CD format. Golf games of the era aren't normally full of visual flair. However, <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i> was created Telenet/Lasersoft, the same folks who did <i><b>Valis II</b></i> for the PC Engine. The developers chose to insert absurd <i><b>Valis</b></i>-style cutscenes between levels.<br />
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These anime-like cutscenes almost make <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i> seem like a parody of <i><b>Valis II</b></i>. The protagonist must win a number of rounds of golf against a series of goofy opponents. Each opponent in introduced in a dramatic cutscene and their stats -- height, weight, and power -- are provided, just like in <i><b>Valis II</b></i>'s boss battles.<br />
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These animated cutscenes are done in the exact same style as those in <i><b>Valis II</b></i>, right down the same shade of green being used as the background. Unfortunately, the actual golfing part of <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i> is pretty lame, even by 1989 standards.<br />
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Chronturbo 5 has been almost completely recorded and will go into editing soon. Not sure of an exact date, but keep an eye peeled.<br />
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In the meantime, I've uploaded the second episode of the Video Nasties series. This one covers a well loved slasher film, <i><b>The Burning</b></i>. This movie is unusual in a few ways. It ended up on the nasties list due an error -- the label accidentally released the tape with the non-BBFC approved version. Also, there is a surprising amount of award-winning talent in this movie. Aside the various future Oscar, Emmy and Tony award winners who were involved, <i><b>The Burning</b></i> was produced by Bob and Harvey Weinstein (their first film production, in fact). Brad Grey, who is now the CEO of Paramount, was also involved to some extent.<br />
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Unlike some of the nasties, quite a bit of information is available on the background and production of the film, so I got into this in a bit detail. Compared to Driller Killer, not too much psychological or artistic analysis is possible, since this was a completely mercenary project. Even the director admits to not having seen the movie since it was released. The main consideration seemed to be creating an movie with sufficient blood and nudity to keep the audience interested.<br />
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As always you can check this thing out on Youtube, and downloadable versions in various sizes can be found on <a href="https://archive.org/details/VnEpisode21080" target="_blank">Archive</a>. Here are the individual files: <br />
<a href="https://archive.org/download/VnEpisode21080/vn%20episode%202%201080.mp4" target="_blank">1080p 1.9 Gigs</a><br />
<a href="https://archive.org/download/VnEpisode21080/VnEpisode2720.mp4" target="_blank">720p 1.3 Gigs</a><br />
<a href="https://archive.org/download/VnEpisode21080/VnEpisode2720Small.mp4" target="_blank">720p (smaller) 713.8 Megs</a><br />
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Check back for another update soon. Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-64300529226893571632015-07-22T22:19:00.003-07:002015-07-22T22:20:50.841-07:00Some News for YouMy goodness! Has it really been this long since I've updated this blog? My apologies.<br />
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If you're wondering what's currently on the plate for Dr. Sparkle, I'm currently waist-deep in Chronturbo Episode Five, covering July through September 1989. Compared to last episode, which featured <i><b>Valis II</b></i>, <i><b>Blazing Lazers</b></i> and the ambitious CD-ROM RPG <i><b>Tengai Makyou: Ziria</b></i>, Episode Five is kind of lame. We've got a handful of arcade ports, the usual golf and baseball games, one adventure game, and some random junk.<br />
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One rather bizarre PC Engine release is NEC's port of <i><b>Altered Beast</b></i>, or more properly, <i><b>Juuouki</b></i>, since this version didn't come out stateside. There were a few Sega games ported to the PC Engine (and the Famicom!) but <i><b>Altered Beast</b></i> has been released not that long ago on the Mega Drive, and was considered of sufficient quality to become the pack-in title for the Genesis. I don't know exactly what Sega's reasoning was for licensing the game to NEC. Perhaps the popularity of the PC Engine meant it would sell more copies than it would on the Mega Drive. <br />
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Even stranger though, was the way Altered Beast was released. It is the only PC Engine game I know of (off the top of my head) that received near-simultaneous releases on the HuCard and CD-ROM. On September 22, 1989 the CD-ROM version hit the shelves; then the card version came out a week later. The differences between the two are minimal. The CD version has an brief narrated intro that is accessible from the main menu. Unlike <i><b>Valis II</b></i>, this is not an animated style intro, but rather ugly looking still images with narration and music. In addition, the CD version has speech samples which are missing from the HuCard version. Aside from that, the game itself is identical.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRax-gBGHYjnQSh_g5dHsBtHEvCHsAsaYuontUXqcYw1Eoj-s3cRPIbmwDaHWl5hrNBovdKvsz6LuMOqki6CRtomT6W1qvH7WyGq6n0FSEJKGVxBHCN4WXsFu9Em9I7IYKKQu1rKBia1c/s1600/ab.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRax-gBGHYjnQSh_g5dHsBtHEvCHsAsaYuontUXqcYw1Eoj-s3cRPIbmwDaHWl5hrNBovdKvsz6LuMOqki6CRtomT6W1qvH7WyGq6n0FSEJKGVxBHCN4WXsFu9Em9I7IYKKQu1rKBia1c/s400/ab.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scene from the CD-ROM intro.</td></tr>
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I'm not really sure why NEC released this on CD-ROM, other than to give early adaptors another game to justify their purchase of the peripheral. The CD-ROM² was launched 9 months prior, and only 8 games had been released for it. A bunch of CD-ROM games started coming out around February and March of 1990, so there were clearly a lot of titles in the works. Still, everything about the CD-ROM Altered Beast screams "desperate cash-in." The disc itself if only 94 megabytes, making it the smallest PC Engine disc game I know of.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprhA36_OFPFt6_UaoSOA-oiCsD4PgRrOTJnFABMzgXoLogIKey9fFzJcOVDgQx8uSDPiuyUS9vCDhoOVT-7YL7_IO5Z74m94aDjqy1pnWKxPtXwiwV3s0vcc7n6Cba90yIuY2dgc3HNE/s1600/ab2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhprhA36_OFPFt6_UaoSOA-oiCsD4PgRrOTJnFABMzgXoLogIKey9fFzJcOVDgQx8uSDPiuyUS9vCDhoOVT-7YL7_IO5Z74m94aDjqy1pnWKxPtXwiwV3s0vcc7n6Cba90yIuY2dgc3HNE/s400/ab2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">PCE Altered Beast looks considerable worse than the Genesis version.</td></tr>
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Two other CD-ROM games will be covered this episode, one of which is <i><b>Wonder Boy III: Monster Lair</b></i>. This is the "other" <i><b>Wonder Boy III</b></i>: a port of the arcade game, not to be confused with <i><b>The Dragon's Trap</b></i>. It's a simple little platformer/shoot-em-up hybrid which has some<i> slammin'</i> music. The other game is <i><b>Super Albatross</b></i>, which has an intriguing name but turns out to be merely a golf game. Kusoge fans will be pleased to know there are two pretty terrible HuCard games this episode as well.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0m6EDe5Vkka9CxInRGL0u4sJtC4DL8iqA-ZoM2nxuZ3fhVN1ZLpYT7YWkHYVzzNK2HsVwJ86Bvsc4akuTlNQLgaLlK6NQLHsOEPKjVpASEh9pTd5WU_FkMiWavGzH0VaeOtAP8gxYok/s1600/rockon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0m6EDe5Vkka9CxInRGL0u4sJtC4DL8iqA-ZoM2nxuZ3fhVN1ZLpYT7YWkHYVzzNK2HsVwJ86Bvsc4akuTlNQLgaLlK6NQLHsOEPKjVpASEh9pTd5WU_FkMiWavGzH0VaeOtAP8gxYok/s400/rockon.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>Rock On</b></i>. This game is bullshit.</td></tr>
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Also, I'll mention this stupid thing I'm doing during my spare time (ie: while I'm on the clock at work), the <a href="http://daybydayrungs.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Day by Day blog</a>.
For the innocent among you, <i><b>Day By Day</b></i> is an extremely ugly, paranoid,
sorta white supremacist, MRA comic. It began life 13 years ago and a
Republican-leaning Doonesbury clone. It even had limited syndication for
a while. The creator's brain kind of snapped when Obama was elected and it
just <i>devolved </i>into the awful mess it is today. This blog of mine
is a look at <i><b>Day by Day</b></i> through the years, watching it turn into
horrifying crap. <br />
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The current Chrontendo schedule is as follows: Chronturbo 5 is partway done. I've had very little time to work on this stuff for the last few weeks, but hope to pick up the pace soon. Also, Video Nasties Ep. 2 will be out soon (it's actually more or less been sitting in the can for a little while.) There will be a short Video Nasties Ep 2 Part 2 video soon afterwards. Sort of a one-off follow up video.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-47519314924597389042015-05-26T23:22:00.000-07:002015-05-26T23:22:02.660-07:00Micro Update!For those who want/prefer a downloadable/non YouTube-processed version of The Video Nasties Episode 1, 1080p and 720p versions are available on Archive, <a href="https://archive.org/details/VnEpisode1Smaller" target="_blank">here</a>:.Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-6814192926524594122015-05-24T20:56:00.001-07:002015-05-24T20:56:42.582-07:00Enter: The Video NastiesAs promised earlier, I've started a new channel, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoShe-eNwUiz10swFKaryqw" target="_blank">Dr Sparkle After Dark</a>, for uploading non-gaming related content. The first (non-pilot) episode of the Video Nasties series has just been uploaded, and is available for your viewing enjoyment. I suspect an age restriction will end up being placed on this series at some point.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OZNIpm3mCdk" width="560"></iframe> <br />
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Just as with Chrontendo, episodes will also be posted to Archive.org. In the event that a Nasties video gets pulled from Youtube, it will still be available to view on Archive.<br />
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I provide some background information on the video nasties phenomenon in this video's intro, but here's a quick summary: The UK has historically been one of the most censorious nations in the western industrial word, with film censorship being handled by an organization called the BBFC. The BBFC rates films much like the MPAA does in the US, though failure to obtain a BBFC rating usually prohibits a film from being distributed in a normal theatrical setting. When home video formats such as the VHS tape became available in the late 70s/early 80s, there was no sort of regulation or censorship placed on them. A number of foreign sex and horror movies were released in the UK on video, causing an uproar in the tabloids. UK tabloids are notoriously sensationalistic, and labeled such films "video nasties," though the term was first used in <i><b>The Sunday Times</b></i>. The theory was that viewing such films would corrupt the unsullied minds of Britain's youth, thus turning them into a generation of degenerates, murderers and criminals.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0u8DAE-sO-YhBPu3xx3FJQfiZp7WJao_oUY8ND3EBLgavxVMn4VnlgBuceATenB57nChMoLES1g-OgAVSfKw8Ra__xGhKUm2ZUkSCotg7tP8xmLHQenLOUOWAUF5VKIuATbu9yy6qZ0/s1600/snuffed.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0u8DAE-sO-YhBPu3xx3FJQfiZp7WJao_oUY8ND3EBLgavxVMn4VnlgBuceATenB57nChMoLES1g-OgAVSfKw8Ra__xGhKUm2ZUkSCotg7tP8xmLHQenLOUOWAUF5VKIuATbu9yy6qZ0/s320/snuffed.gif" width="280" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Typical anti-nastiies headline.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The authorities stepped in and began seizing tapes from video stores, on the grounds that they were legally 'obscene.' Obscenity was illegal in the UK, but had previously been used only to ban things for sexual content such as hardcore pornography. Now, horror movies on video were being ruled as obscene in the British courts. After a couple years of chaos, Parliament passed the Video Recordings Act in 1984, which put video tape releases under the control of the BBFC. From this point onward, VHS movies not passed by the BBFC were effectively banned in the UK. Most of the films considered to be 'nasties' had no chance of getting passed by the BBFC, or at the very least would require sizable cuts. The original "pre-cert" video tape releases of the nasties films became highly collectible in the UK: in particular, the "DPP 39," a group of 39 movies successfully prosecuted as obscene prior to the VRA.<br />
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In addition to those 39 films, there are an additional 33 that the DPP considered obscene but were not successfully prosecuted as such. Also, there were 82 films which were seized and destroyed under civic forfeiture hearings, rather than a criminal trial. We'll cover films from all three categories in this series. As time passed and the BBFC became more lenient, many of the nasties films finally got official DVD/Blu-Ray releases in the UK, though some remain banned in uncut form.<br />
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A natural place to start would be Abel Ferrara's <i><b>The Driller Killer</b></i>, a 1979 low-budget horror film about a guy that (not surprisingly) kills people with a power drill. It's much closer to a gorier, grittier version of Roman Polanski's <i><b>Repulsion </b></i>than a typical slasher movie. <i><b>The Driller Kille</b><b>r</b></i> was one of the movies that ignited the original nasties firestorm, but this was more due to the VHS box cover than the film itself. Though the use of a drill as murder weapon was also contentious, since it would easy for people to get their hands on one and re-enact the film's murders.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkIo-Brs4d_yx8pQwIvC2CyzkW0Rm545jB05uH_il7xPq0g7ng4PuzhM3LQjLNlTBYsqQpb-BmGu5rIXdRakdPHdR4MhsL8_ebM0LQxTEmMQq814m5dcrkdKEtKwe2iyv6247i3bg6v20/s1600/boxart.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkIo-Brs4d_yx8pQwIvC2CyzkW0Rm545jB05uH_il7xPq0g7ng4PuzhM3LQjLNlTBYsqQpb-BmGu5rIXdRakdPHdR4MhsL8_ebM0LQxTEmMQq814m5dcrkdKEtKwe2iyv6247i3bg6v20/s400/boxart.png" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This cover virtually started the who nasties scare.</td></tr>
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As for my opinions on <i><b>Driller Killer</b></i>, you can watch the video and find out for yourself. In short, I'll say that I liked it. Now, I'm certainly not the first guy on the internet to tackle the nasties. The nasties are in the UK, much like the Famicom library in Japan: everyone's taken a swipe at them. One of the main video reviewers is Glenn Criddle, who has reviewed all of them (I think) under the Youtube handle Lampyman. Here's his take on <i><b>The Driller Killer</b></i>:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/boHfcC_uHiA" width="560"></iframe><br />
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If anything, Criddle is even more low-key and subdued that I am. He has a pretty different interpretation of it than I do, overlaying a sort of Freudian/Oedipal theme onto the film. I see it more as an economic horror movie, and quite frankly, don't understand why anyone in the 21th century would be engaging in Freudian analysis of movies. Also, while <b><i>Driller Killer</i></b> is a gritty little film, I think Criddle overstates the awfulness of the NYC setting in which the protagonist, Reno, lives. The words "squalor" and "slum" pop up in his review, when in fact, NYC in the 70s was a virtual paradise for artistic bohemian types. Reno's Union Square apartment/loft is rather spacious. And while Ferrara plays up NYC's crime and transient population, this ain't exactly Gangs of New York era Five Points.<br />
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Here's another Nasty reviewer, doing mini-reviews of Killer and a few others. He's more breezy and animated than Criddle or me, though he doesn't care for the movie much.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5EI20N2Wfp8" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Due to the pretty short production time required for these things, (a fraction of the time it takes to make a complete episode of Chrontendo) you might see episodes pretty frequently. And I have other stuff planned for the Dr. Sparkle After Dark channel as well.<br />
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Next time will be a much prettier movie, yet still quite gory.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-31261984908761117342015-05-04T11:08:00.002-07:002015-05-04T11:08:29.902-07:00The Genesis ArrivesOK folks, cool your heels. The new episode of Chronsega is available for your viewing pleasure. Youtube now offers 60 fps options, you can watch a pretty darn good <a href="https://youtu.be/o_ds-YneEUU" target="_blank">streaming version there</a>. Or you can download that same file directly <a href="https://archive.org/details/Chronsega9" target="_blank">from Archive.org</a>. (It's the 1.4 gig MP4 file.) More file sizes/formats will be available there soon.<br />
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Chronsega Episode 9 covers July through October 1989 for the Mega Drive/Genesis and "Fall 1989" for those increasingly rare and mysterious Master System games. One very important thing of note this episode is that the Sega Genesis was released in the US on August 14, supposedly only in NYC and Los Angeles at first. Sega of America was in an interesting position at this time. They had only recently retaken over the Master System's distribution and marketing from Tonka. From what I understand, Bruce Lowry, formerly of Nintendo before becoming President of Sega of America in 1986, had quit Sega and gone back to Nintendo in mid-1988, thus leaving SOA headless for a year. Shortly after the Genesis' launch, former Coleco/Atari/Epyx executive Michael Katz stepped in to take charge of Sega's US branch. Katz developed much of what we think about the Genesis when we consider its pre-Sonic era: The focus on celebrity sports figures. The emphasis on the Genesis' superior graphics. The "Genesis Does What Nintendon't" ad campaign.<br />
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Katz was replaced after two years by Tom Kalinske. There are two schools of thought re: Katz vs. Kalinske. One is that Katz simply failed to make the Genesis succeed in the US; it was up to Kalinske to turn things around, and that Kalinske's tactics were directly responsible for the Sega's brief US dominance over Nintendo. The other perspective is that many of the seeds of the Genesis' success had already been planted during Katz's reign (for example, Sonic.) Those seeds just happened to bloom after Kalinske took over, thus Kalinske unjustly got all the credit. I suspect the truth lies somewhere in between those two positions.<br />
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Sega of America did manage to get quite a few games on the market very quickly. The Genesis launched with five titles, then released another batch in September, then presumably kept new releases coming throughout the rest of the year. It's hard to say for sure what came out when, but this is the second Genesis ad to appear in <i><b>Game Pro</b></i> magazine:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghwBys_vhFpYTZPvzXBL-v56Ia_gZcuU8kfUFYN-QTuU5KIidfeEoQiVJVQiFwyVOOXiepdSxoAvIKAUZCxLMTL2ezkm1SbaXDSv3-Xw7nR_IUqOSML0HAqsfrGp3JzRHVyBXVdEXXvx0/s1600/sega+ad+full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghwBys_vhFpYTZPvzXBL-v56Ia_gZcuU8kfUFYN-QTuU5KIidfeEoQiVJVQiFwyVOOXiepdSxoAvIKAUZCxLMTL2ezkm1SbaXDSv3-Xw7nR_IUqOSML0HAqsfrGp3JzRHVyBXVdEXXvx0/s1600/sega+ad+full.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
This issue must have been on the shelves in Fall 1989, perhaps in November. The same issue mentions Katz' September appointment as Head of Sega of America as breaking news. This at least gives us some idea which titles were available shortly after launch. It gives me the impression that a few titles, such as <i><b>Golden Axe, Zoom</b></i> and <i><b>Revenge of Shinobi</b></i> were released in the US before Japan.<br />
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Soon, Sega would launch it's own <i><b>Nintendo Power</b></i> style magazine called <i><b>Sega Visions</b></i>, release the Mega Drive in Europe, and eventually find massive success in the US, Europe, Australia an Brazil. For the moment though, we'll look at the second batch of ten games released in Summer and <br />
Fall of 1989. Three games stand out: a port of Sega's arcade hit <i><b>Golden Axe</b></i>, a Sega-published port of Capcom's <i><b>Ghouls 'N Ghosts</b></i>, and a console original, <i><b>Revenge of Shinobi</b></i>.<br />
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<i><b>Golden Axe</b></i> and <i><b>Ghouls 'N Ghosts</b></i> proved once again the system was capable very accurate ports of recent arcade hits, something that was out of the question for the aging NES. <i><b>Revenge of Shinobi</b></i> demonstrated what console action platformers could look like in the 16-bit generation. Other new titles this episode aren't as successful. <i><b>Rambo III</b></i> is a poor man's <i><b>Mercs </b></i>clone, padded with long, maze-like levels to stretch it to console game length. <i><b>Forgotten Worlds</b></i> is another Capcom port which isn't nearly as good as <i><b>Ghouls 'N Ghosts</b></i>. <i><b>Super Hang-On</b></i> is a much improved version of a game that was a launch title for the Master System, with a new career mode added on.<br />
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Other titles include <i><b>Super Hydlide</b></i>, a port of the computer game <i><b>Hydlide 3</b></i>, whose Famicom version we glossed over a few episodes ago. <i><b>Super Hydlide</b></i> has some interesting ideas, but its butt-ugly graphics, grindy nature and overall lack of personality will turn off most folks. The music on the Genesis version is fantastic, however. <i><b>Hokuto no Ken</b></i>/<i><b>Last Battle</b></i> is yet another dull Fist of the North Star beat-em-up, which somehow ended up being a launch title in the US. We've also got a soccer and golf game.<br />
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With this episode, we've covered the first 20 Mega Drive/Genesis games released. Here's the breakdown:<br />
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7 arcade ports<br />
4 computer ports<br />
9 original games, of which:<br />
3 were action platformers<br />
3 were sports games <br />
1 was a beat-em-up<br />
1 was a top down run-and-gun<br />
1 was an RPG<br />
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An interesting and varied assortment of games. As of yet we've only seen two third party publishers, and neither were big names in the videogame market. All this will change in 1990, as the likes of Namco, Taito and EA lend their support to the console.<br />
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Until then, head on over to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_ds-YneEUU" target="_blank">Youtube</a> or <a href="https://archive.org/details/Chronsega9" target="_blank">Archive</a> and check out Chronsega Episode 9.<br />
Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-74620152560616708252015-04-09T23:04:00.003-07:002015-04-09T23:04:43.842-07:00Youtube Update VideoNot much to see here, just a super quick video update on Youtube letting folks know:<br />
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a. Chronsega Ep. 9 is in editing now.<br />
b. There's a new, secondary Chrontendo <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoShe-eNwUiz10swFKaryqw" target="_blank">channel</a>, and an official announcement about the video nasties series (which you guys already knew about.)<br />
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Check back soon for the release of Chronsega 9.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/msffXHwZNR0" width="560"></iframe>
Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-36955371513993018832015-03-19T22:55:00.001-07:002015-03-19T23:00:43.395-07:00"What is this turning into? A goddamned movie blog?"<br />
No, not at all. But watching <i><b>Star Trek: The Motion Picture</b></i> led me to check out a few other sci-fi films of the late 70s/early 80s, and I'm writing about one of those today. I've got to justify my monthly expenditure on Netflix somehow. Allow me to briefly draw you attention to the slightly obscure<i><b> Saturn 3</b></i>.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0Oc10z4Hm_waE3DZ5_HWCh0PvDkW0SEiyrPF-Vny9dK5EBNDgTQyxy5S08-jwx0RUfFlqpIK4o395_k7Hy90Z39jFqxitKUKOEqhsApwFDT1YYZ4YjIvS9SoRTsm2DcBlChSjTPQrWw/s1600/saturn2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge0Oc10z4Hm_waE3DZ5_HWCh0PvDkW0SEiyrPF-Vny9dK5EBNDgTQyxy5S08-jwx0RUfFlqpIK4o395_k7Hy90Z39jFqxitKUKOEqhsApwFDT1YYZ4YjIvS9SoRTsm2DcBlChSjTPQrWw/s1600/saturn2.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The opening shot is once again, big ass spaceship.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Released in early 1980, a mere three months after ST:TMP, <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> boasts a ridiculous amount of talent on board; much more talent than you'd need for a low budget film designed to ride on the coattails of <i><b>Star Wars</b></i>. The director was Stanley Donen, a true Hollywood legend from the glory days of MGM's Technicolor musicals. His past credits included <i><b>On the Town</b></i>, <i><b>Singing in the Rain</b></i>, <i><b>Funny Face</b></i> and <i><b>Charade</b></i>. The principal roles are filled by Kirk Douglas, in one of this last theatrical starring performances; Farrah Fawcett, who was one of the most famous women in the world in 1980; and none other than Harvey Keitel, hot off a series of amazing performances in <i><b>Taxi Driver,</b></i> <i><b>The Duelists</b></i> and <i><b>Fingers</b></i>. On top of this, the script was written by <i>frickin</i>' Martin Amis, who'd achieve literary fame a few years later with his novel <i><b>Money</b></i>. Throw in Oscar-winning cinematographer Billy Williams and an Elmer Bernstein score, and you've got one overqualified cast and crew.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhOEvuQJ8IMO6e8_ATjuz1anVEwnPdGn05fkiFOVmIUCfWlhgviEJ1SEbbE5ODfyv7G-hI_y_LuHf9nYHSw5ZuRDHJvPlo_MoaBXubG8mBvrt3PBmwPLI65NvqfbM0JfxcwfG4ejUf-L0/s1600/saturn3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhOEvuQJ8IMO6e8_ATjuz1anVEwnPdGn05fkiFOVmIUCfWlhgviEJ1SEbbE5ODfyv7G-hI_y_LuHf9nYHSw5ZuRDHJvPlo_MoaBXubG8mBvrt3PBmwPLI65NvqfbM0JfxcwfG4ejUf-L0/s1600/saturn3.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> feels like a typical early/mid 70s Hollywood sci-fi movie being forced into a <i><b>Star Wars</b></i>-shaped box. The small cast and claustrophobic sets give it a <i><b>Silent Running*</b></i> feel. The slightly dystopian theme brings to mind <i><b>Logan's Run</b></i> and <i><b>Soylent Green</b></i>. The movie is often thought to be influenced by <i><b>Alien </b></i>(which it resembles in some ways, but <i><b>Alien </b></i>reached theaters only 9 months earlier, and <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> had been in development since 1975.) The film was conceived by John Barry, a production designer on <i><b>Clockwork Orange</b></i>, <i><b>Phase IV</b></i>, and <i><b>Superman</b></i>. Barry was the original director, but dropped out a couple weeks into filming, leading to Donen, the film's producer, to finish shooting the movie. Barry immediately went on to do second unit directing for <i><b>The Empire Strikes Back</b></i>. While working on <i><b>Empire</b></i>, he contracted meningitis and suddenly died.<br />
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Fawcett got involved when British film mogul Lew Grade, whose company ITC was producing S<i><b>aturn 3</b></i>, got seated next to her on an airplane flight. With Fawcett on board, the movie suddenly became a more important project. Needing a big name male lead, the producers considered Sean Connery and Micheal Caine. They weren't available at that time, and Douglas ended up with the role. Despite the top tier names on the marquee, <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> wasn't really a big budget special effects orgy ala <i><b>ST:TMP</b></i>. Upon release, it was widely mocked for it's cheap looking miniatures and matte paintings. A couple shots were simply borrowed from ITC's TV show <i><b>Space: 1999</b></i>. Thankfully, these sequences are confined to a short sequence near the beginning, when Keitel flies a small space ship to the third moon of Saturn. Once he lands, the rest of the running time is spent inside the confines of Douglas and Fawcett's research station. This set is, quite frankly, pretty damned cool looking, so after the first 15 minutes, it's all smooth sailing, visually.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhldR0ryRIpFBeek0JlT9Lb-XYhVnRf5_SCLo6HB-WmxDP84w1cBtjB2ruz8Gk6JJK7WXtkgub-fy9khDCMX56tPgA34UuQEyk1nTRVdEBpaskGyKa7plIzPEcVO7PBGZ2VoP2fpQYzfEE/s1600/saturn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhldR0ryRIpFBeek0JlT9Lb-XYhVnRf5_SCLo6HB-WmxDP84w1cBtjB2ruz8Gk6JJK7WXtkgub-fy9khDCMX56tPgA34UuQEyk1nTRVdEBpaskGyKa7plIzPEcVO7PBGZ2VoP2fpQYzfEE/s1600/saturn.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goofy looking miniatures sank <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i>'s chances to be the next <i><b>Star Wars</b></i>.</td></tr>
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Despite the sci-fi setting, <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> basically uses the old "trapped in a house with a killer" psychological horror format. The movie opens in a space station. Keitel's character kills one of his fellow officers in order to impersonate him. He does this by opening a hatch, causing his victim to be sucked into the vacuum of space, hitting some wires on the way out which literally tear him into bloody shreds. This shocking opening bit grabs your attention. Regrettably, nothing else in the movie has the same visceral impact as this scene. Taking the place of the captain he murdered, Keitel travels to the remote Saturn 3 research lab, carrying with him a new type of robot, powered by cloned human brain cells. The lab is manned solely by Kirk Douglas and his assistant/girlfriend Farrah Fawcett. The physically imposing, humanoid "Demigod" model robot is programmed by connecting directly to Keitel's brain. Unfortunately, since Keitel is a homicidal maniac who killed the robot's intended trainer, things go quickly awry. The robot murders Keitel and attempts to hunt down Douglas and Fawcett. I think the parallels with Frankenstein will be obvious.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsX2XNXagJXS180HKLMPAmRZ1LS12zgH9Ut8kScIHlxLchIyR9kom8M7lTDVwNfOBM0y86V0tOCTIMh4KksY75JmTJ2-Rti63Sd34dZjFCS4D7W2bKAo6M6AM3oF2H4wlYO_KoSOFxjGQ/s1600/saturn.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsX2XNXagJXS180HKLMPAmRZ1LS12zgH9Ut8kScIHlxLchIyR9kom8M7lTDVwNfOBM0y86V0tOCTIMh4KksY75JmTJ2-Rti63Sd34dZjFCS4D7W2bKAo6M6AM3oF2H4wlYO_KoSOFxjGQ/s1600/saturn.gif" height="216" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not a great idea to have the most shocking scene at the very beginning.</td></tr>
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We don't learn much about human society outside of the lab, but hints of overpopulation of mass drug abuse are dropped. The purpose of the Saturn 3 lab is apparently to research hydroponic methods for increasing food production. Keitel arrives with a stash of pills with names like "Blue Dreamers," and it's implied that the human population on Earth is kept under control through sex and drugs. Keitel's characters speaks in an unemotional monotone and immediately informs Fawcett that he is attracted to her and requests to "use" her body for his pleasure When she reacts with digust, he informs her that such relationships are normal on Earth. The old-fashioned Douglas, a man with 20th century values and who has a monogamous romantic relationship with Fawcett, is mocked by Keitel as having no place in the world anymore.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jKx-xqsJu7_wX5PHM6rwn6nR2EK4VmYDgQreMU5XiACBu0rzmux8tcxpGfMQo8MWarAIgxf7i1PUmaw9yc9alztrcTPc1jm8rYuq6OrXUhN-onjlexNk5ZjdHwjfKShEE8KlJy-q2Bk/s1600/saturn5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jKx-xqsJu7_wX5PHM6rwn6nR2EK4VmYDgQreMU5XiACBu0rzmux8tcxpGfMQo8MWarAIgxf7i1PUmaw9yc9alztrcTPc1jm8rYuq6OrXUhN-onjlexNk5ZjdHwjfKShEE8KlJy-q2Bk/s1600/saturn5.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scenes like this make up about 30% of the movie, it feels like.</td></tr>
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<i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> spends a suprising amount of time on Douglas and Fawcett making pillow talk while longuing around in their bathrobes. They've created a mini-paradise for themselves on Saturn 3 and are counting the days until Keitel leaves. One issue: it seems like Keitel is the only one who is actually doing any real work at the lab. We are supposed to relate to this pair of lovebirds, but Keitel has a point when he yells at them for failing to produce results while people on Earth are starving. The first 2/3 of <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> consists of slowly building tension between Keitel and Douglas/Fawcett. Once the robot goes rouge, we are treated to 15 minutes Douglas and Fawcett being chased around the corridors. Eventually, Douglas, realizing that he IS a bit a relic, straps some bombs to himself and blows the robot up.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhkOIDgBENZeqeXMfLgRXho7zvC8SPY9fRqe9yUucLzVm2h7F2MamAzDpZVHLUClLku-Z4Usuv4VNxBlL0UOpDxo7Ur0YW-J4J0xETmLwBATnvNlNW3O8oTgA2oxKkkvzDkP69eUfOtLU/s1600/saturn4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhkOIDgBENZeqeXMfLgRXho7zvC8SPY9fRqe9yUucLzVm2h7F2MamAzDpZVHLUClLku-Z4Usuv4VNxBlL0UOpDxo7Ur0YW-J4J0xETmLwBATnvNlNW3O8oTgA2oxKkkvzDkP69eUfOtLU/s1600/saturn4.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cool set design. Cool killer robot design.</td></tr>
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Upon release, <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> was rejected by critics and audiences and died at the box office. It received Golden Raspberry nominations for worst picture, actor and actress. 30 plus years later, it just seems like a nice, harmless sci-fi film, and currently holds a respectable 5/10 rating on IMDB. However, it does very much feel like a movie put together by some old Hollywood dudes trying to make a quick buck off of that <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> bullshit. At times it is very stagey looking, and feels incredibly set-bound. There are some very cool looking sets, and the killer robot is sufficiently scary looking. But somehow, Douglas and Fawcett just don't fit into <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i>'s futuristic world very convincingly. Kirk Douglas was simply not made for science fiction films. Also, you may get creeped out by the huge age difference between the two. <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i> exists in the 1960s-70s movie tradition of romantically pairing a young woman with someone <i>waaaay </i>older. (See also, George C Scott and Julie Christie in <i><b>Petulia </b></i>and Donen's own <i><b>Funny Face</b></i> with Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn). Douglas displays an ample amount of his naked, sagging flesh in the movie. The fact that he is biologically old enough to be Fawcett's grandfather makes their love scenes a bit icky.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl_WSQiPslENvWlAqDtUhWTkuGgagYaiDkrpqclY2B88ankZWJFM5mCaw059h2Hf-9qryiRCO4dxLP1gAUohgZ6JTPAx3Flw6GqiFThBdd2jMXYXHAmewCIzYEmpkNmQym7wedZ_OjICA/s1600/saturn+6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl_WSQiPslENvWlAqDtUhWTkuGgagYaiDkrpqclY2B88ankZWJFM5mCaw059h2Hf-9qryiRCO4dxLP1gAUohgZ6JTPAx3Flw6GqiFThBdd2jMXYXHAmewCIzYEmpkNmQym7wedZ_OjICA/s1600/saturn+6.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An example of the stylized, artificial looking sets.</td></tr>
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My verdict: An entertaining failure. A brief epilog: Sean Connery did end up staring in a similar sci-fi movie, <i><b>Outland </b></i>in 1981, which takes place on a moon of Jupiter instead of Saturn. Like <i><b>Saturn 3</b></i>, <i><b>Outland </b></i>was a joint Hollywood/UK effort, and also featured a grisly, space vacuum-themed death. I suspect I'll post my thoughts on this eventually.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy4ok3l7JpTLkv1Q67lttjJoH86YwEid40CSTdoexrJazLJIRHWyoRCUnRDu2mWsS6a9FhAux0-omsukqhamQAie10QHUQgd4Mvye82csg1i7oqv8W7YexxrUqCTyjwJBE6deJ2dvthSc/s1600/saturn7.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy4ok3l7JpTLkv1Q67lttjJoH86YwEid40CSTdoexrJazLJIRHWyoRCUnRDu2mWsS6a9FhAux0-omsukqhamQAie10QHUQgd4Mvye82csg1i7oqv8W7YexxrUqCTyjwJBE6deJ2dvthSc/s1600/saturn7.png" height="215" width="400" /></a></div>
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*The 1972 movie directed by Douglas Trumball, special effects guy on <i><b>ST:TMP</b></i>. <i><b>Silent Running</b></i> seems to have had an influence on <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> and <i><b>Aliens</b></i>. Trumball also worked on <i><b>The Andromeda Strain</b></i>, directed by <i><b>ST:TMP</b></i>'s Robert Wise. Hollywood is a small town in many ways.Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-62028232247283540622015-03-10T19:38:00.002-07:002015-03-10T19:38:12.344-07:00Star Side-TrackedSometimes I feel like I ignore this blog, and leave it pretty much unattended between announcements of new Chrontendo videos. So here's a quick little project I'll throw into the works (my previous little project, reviewing all of Russian River's 'religious' beers got cut short due to the fact that those beers are now impossible to find.)<br />
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This particular project was inspired by the estimable Bill Mudron, an artist you might know from <a href="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2y76o4652rE/hqdefault.jpg" target="_blank">his illustration</a> of movie reviewer Mr. Plinkett. He does all kinds of art based on videogames and other nerdy stuff. He was talking about the Star Trek movies, and I mentioned I had not seen all of them, and probably have not seen any of them since their original release. Bill let me know that all the movies were currently available on Netflix streaming, which seemed like a good excuse for me to flesh out my Star Trek knowledge and then serve up my terrible Star Trek opinions. I'll start this today with 1979's <i><b>Star Trek: The Motion Picture</b></i>.<br />
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One caveat: I am not a Star Trek fanatic. I think Star Trek is OK. I will only be covering the six original ST movies, since I do not give one shit about the various spin-offs such as Next Generation, Babylon 5, Enterprise, etc. I will not engage in any Star Trek geekery here and will look at these movies with the cold, clear eye of a man who has no special attachment to any of them.<br />
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Of the six Star Trek feature films, <i><b>Star Trek: The Motion Picture</b></i> is the weirdest, and in some ways, most interesting, of the bunch. It was also the biggest money maker of the six, based on the original theatrical runs. It's the only one directed by a renowned filmmaker, namely Robert Wise, winner of two Best Director Oscars. Wise was an editor before he became a director, and one of his editing credits was <i><b>Citizen Kane</b></i>. Let that sink into your skulls for a moment. The guy who made the first Star Trek movie had <i><b>Citizen </b>fucking<b> Kane</b></i> on his resume. His lengthy directorial credits included the early sci-fi movie <i><b>The Day the Earth Stood Still</b></i>, as well as<i><b> West Side Story</b></i> and <i><b>The Sound of Music</b></i>. Just to remind you, <i><b>The Sound of Music</b></i> is, to this day, the third biggest money making movie of all time. Wise mostly made big, high budget, all-star movies, so bringing him aboard was a sign of Paramount's seriousness when it came to this movie.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaGHFp8tJWukQIOtg48T8S14kl_Qaz0DTyckf1am29fpVBxHZrcWRIJlpoZ90I_ECPTQRzn2Tj33idu4_neYS1lITf1-J7FyEHVzP-Od60tGQ79-c_fU_niy6VeJ3XucRnYNNcSThzBKo/s1600/stposter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaGHFp8tJWukQIOtg48T8S14kl_Qaz0DTyckf1am29fpVBxHZrcWRIJlpoZ90I_ECPTQRzn2Tj33idu4_neYS1lITf1-J7FyEHVzP-Od60tGQ79-c_fU_niy6VeJ3XucRnYNNcSThzBKo/s1600/stposter.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Classic Bob Peak artwork on the poster.</td></tr>
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A bit of backstory: the original Star Trek series ran for three seasons, from 1966 to 1969. It was cancelled due to low ratings but quickly began a second life in syndication. Now as a person who was born in the 70s, I can assure you that every single kid in the country was familiar with Star Trek at the time <i><b>The Motion Picture</b></i> was released. Star Trek was inescapable in the 70s. Syndicated reruns aired constantly. ST novels hit the shelves starting in 1970, and an animated TV series aimed at kids debuted in 1973. Mego launched a line of Star Trek action figures in 1975. Gold Key published a Star Trek comic throughout the 70s. Star Trek fans launched a letter-writing campaign to change the name of the new space shuttle to The Enterprise. Gerald Ford agreed to the name change. So by 1976, Star Trek was such a established cultural institution that the president was cool with naming a multi-gazillion dollar aerospace project after the show.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLJm_9wqESWXRGkOHuFkdUqOAOBa1NOtqr01KPIDvnxBGAhMLjQ4w7t6K4fBwD4fBFvh7LDMOu362MwKgbvv2hPTBEmgiMAusQ3UFui_FQBM4gfoDjV_4Vr-DLTPz64GLwVCamY5Oa1j4/s1600/mego.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLJm_9wqESWXRGkOHuFkdUqOAOBa1NOtqr01KPIDvnxBGAhMLjQ4w7t6K4fBwD4fBFvh7LDMOu362MwKgbvv2hPTBEmgiMAusQ3UFui_FQBM4gfoDjV_4Vr-DLTPz64GLwVCamY5Oa1j4/s1600/mego.jpg" height="211" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Star Trek was hugely popular among kids in the 70s</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Resurrecting Star Trek was a foregone conclusion by this point, and a protracted attempt to do so had begun around 1972. Plans to make a Star Trek film were jettisoned, but Paramount attempted to launch a new Trek TV series in 1977. In addition to the original cast, roles for new characters were created, such as Will Decker, and Ilia, who was to be played by Indian actress/model Persis Khambatta. The new series obviously never happened, since Paramount decided to opt for a theatrical movie instead, following the huge success of <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> and <i><b>Close Encounters of the Third Kind</b></i>. The intended first episode of the new TV series, "In Thy Image," was expanded into a film script. The new characters, Decker and Ilia were carried over. Gene Rodenberry was given the position of producer. Sets were hastily rebuilt. Paramount felt they were in a race against time, as they assumed the post <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> sci-fi movie fad would soon run its course.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-Id62iaY-VcMHW3a_H0wZp_Af6fEeAE1yhtnU_Kp9JzTjK47MEOPy3Xisr3aGe0LbXIU-Vnw9h4abCpBarMeE9ig2bVqf9QhEAtOHj8XyCUYo_e8nBvEgLKPBRFoULhdN0l18cXSrlM/s1600/ilia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-Id62iaY-VcMHW3a_H0wZp_Af6fEeAE1yhtnU_Kp9JzTjK47MEOPy3Xisr3aGe0LbXIU-Vnw9h4abCpBarMeE9ig2bVqf9QhEAtOHj8XyCUYo_e8nBvEgLKPBRFoULhdN0l18cXSrlM/s1600/ilia.jpg" height="302" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Persis Khambatta in a test shot for the TV show project.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Aside from Robert Wise, Paramount brought in some big names like special effects guy Douglas Trumbull, who previously worked on <i><b>2001</b></i> and <i><b>Close Encounters</b></i>. (Interestingly, his father worked on <b><i>Star Wars</i></b>.) Also Richard Yuricich from <i><b>Close Encounter</b><b>s</b></i> was hired and John Dykstra, from <i><b>Star Wars</b></i>, had some involvement. (Dykstra got the <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> job because Doug Trumball was already committed to <b>Close Encounters</b>. Special FX was an incestuous scene at the time.) The point is that Paramount was dedicated to making a <i><b>Close Encounters</b></i>-sized hit. The resulting picture was more expensive than <i><b>Star Wars </b></i>and<i><b> Close Encounters</b></i><i><b> </b></i>combined. When it finally premiered in December 1979, it had the best opening weekend of the year.<i><b> S</b><b>tar Trek: The Motion Picture</b></i> made a nice chunk of money, but it wasn't exactly <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> money. It was generally considered a bit of a disappointment at the box office, since it only made $150 million, instead of $300 million. By comparison, it made more money, adjusted for inflation, than <i><b>American Sniper</b></i> or <i><b>Guardians of the Galaxy</b></i>.<br />
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Despite its relative financial success, the involvement of names like Roddenberry, Robert Wise, Doug Trumball and Syd Mead; its state of the art special effects, and fact that it succeeded in reuniting the original cast and restarting the franchise, Star Trek fans tend to really dislike <i><b>The Motion Picture</b></i>. As I mentioned at the top of this post, it's a weird movie, closer in some ways to Kubrick's <i><b>2001</b></i> than the rest of the Star Trek movies. It begins much like <i><b>Star Wars</b></i>, with special effects shots of spaceships flying through space, in this case Klingon battleships. Everything in this opening sequence looks expensive. The Klingons have more elaborate makeup than they did in the TV show; the interiors of the Klingon ship look great compared to the drab design and flat lighting ST fans were used to. The Klingon ships attack some mysterious space cloud and very quickly get themselves disintegrated by the cloud's unstoppable plasma bursts. We then cut to Earth, where Kirk, now an admiral, is preparing to return to active duty and take the Enterprise out to meet the mysterious cloud, which is headed on a course straight to Earth. Simultaneously, Spock is hanging out on Vulcan with a hippie haircut, doing Vulcan things.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiRrFct3dhUGarC__Rl551_DVcJJFEcIcrgqesjmCf7CqG0Pprd_O6WLk1_DA1SURH9otgCOPMOuMbdgkWViALc3FRoMwYS2QrHi9c8JcP19gQiLzoM2OAh2nPWzg9Cwuh5kbDrzAiJE/s1600/st1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiRrFct3dhUGarC__Rl551_DVcJJFEcIcrgqesjmCf7CqG0Pprd_O6WLk1_DA1SURH9otgCOPMOuMbdgkWViALc3FRoMwYS2QrHi9c8JcP19gQiLzoM2OAh2nPWzg9Cwuh5kbDrzAiJE/s1600/st1.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Vulcan looks very matte-painty in this movie.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The first third of the movie is the 'getting the old gang back together' bit. Kirk has bulldogged Starfleet command into giving him control of the Enterprise again, (this is not shown) then runs into Scotty who drives him to the recently-updated Enterprise in a little space shuttle. The scene of the shuttle approaching the enterprise it quite interesting. It lasts about 5 minutes, and mostly cuts between shorts of Kirk getting teary-eyed at the sight of his old ship, and impressive special effects shots of the Enterprise as it sits in some kind of space drydock. This sequence is all visual spectacle. There is virtually no dialog, just shots of the Enterprise from every angle, set against orchestral arrangements of TV show's theme music, as the audience gazes in wonder at this new, post-<i><b>Star Wars</b></i> imagining of the Enterprise.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZycL7cUzIiCA0BnEP2mKQWR20SZhgyuDEw-NSfM5uFC8G6EPq6REqEhxKx14SqRN7c2qKpnwY1k7Fcpj4jit30L5JBbJYLKDWZ7IDM3PaKSt8V8uLbQGDgvBfwOKEbrLKgCYGaC3D1XM/s1600/st3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZycL7cUzIiCA0BnEP2mKQWR20SZhgyuDEw-NSfM5uFC8G6EPq6REqEhxKx14SqRN7c2qKpnwY1k7Fcpj4jit30L5JBbJYLKDWZ7IDM3PaKSt8V8uLbQGDgvBfwOKEbrLKgCYGaC3D1XM/s1600/st3.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This sequence is a tour-de-force of cutting edge, post Star Wars special effects.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Once Kirk is aboard, Uhura, Sulu, Chekhov, etc, all greet him, expressing wonderment at his unexpected appearance. A grumpy, bearded Bones is quickly brought aboard, against his will, and then a bit later, Spock somehow tracks down the Enterprise and flies in using a another little space shuttle. Now that the original cast is completely reunited, the Enterprise sets off to stop the giant killer cloud. The remainder of the movie mostly consists of the journey to the center of the cloud, as the crew attempts to solve the mystery of the cloud before it reaches Earth.<br />
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Fans, critics and the cast itself generally did not like <i><b>The Motion Picture</b></i>. In theory, the story of an all-powerful yet unknowable alien lifeform menacing Earth could make for an exciting movie. Yet <i><b>TMP</b></i> is almost completely lacking in action and excitement. The crew of the Enterprise are reduced to spectators, watching passively as they drift through the alien cloud. Unlike most episodes of the TV show, the crew remains shipbound for the entire movie. Aside from one scene where the Enterprise gets sucked into a wormhole and has to fire photon torpedoes at an asteroid, everyone mostly sits in their chairs and stares at the bridge's big monitor screen. No phasers are fired, no red shirts are killed, Kirk doesn't engage in any fisticuffs or make love to any alien ladies. The returning cast had complaints about the script not giving them much to do. Uhura, Sulu and Chekov sit at their stations and do nothing other than provide the occasional reaction shot. Scotty remains stationed in the engine room and makes various comments about the engines not being at full power, etc. The only returning cast members who get any noteworthy dialog are Kirk, Spock, and Bones. Bones exists pretty much to squabble with Spock (which is fine<span class="format">) but mostly stands around on the bridge looking lost. Spock is the movie's deus ex machina, who had an unexplained psychic link to the cloud, and spends the movie telling Kirk what his next move should be.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPjZwcjkfAtwy2zRE12Rdrw0nV5QxehbABz_CXgFDZI5agMDfASCpRtPcLObdNNT-m2cNAVSMOn5Gna1y0QBVYqMieOVRF6rl094H5S7tXyMm9XkPx5FWXKha4CX_wngr_SSM-K7BprI/s1600/st4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyPjZwcjkfAtwy2zRE12Rdrw0nV5QxehbABz_CXgFDZI5agMDfASCpRtPcLObdNNT-m2cNAVSMOn5Gna1y0QBVYqMieOVRF6rl094H5S7tXyMm9XkPx5FWXKha4CX_wngr_SSM-K7BprI/s1600/st4.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Psychedelic effects are used for the wormhole sequence.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span class="format">First time viewers of <i><b>TMP </b></i>may be surprised at how much time it spends on the two new characters, Stephen Collins' Captain Decker and Persis Khambatta's Ilia. The source of the film's main dramatic conflict is the tension between Kirk and Decker after Kick re-assumes command of the Enterprise. Ilia herself is one of <i><b>TMP</b></i>'s central images. With her shaved head and high collared white bathrobe outfit, she cuts a striking figure, and she was featured heavily in the film's promotions. Check the movie's poster up there: her face is plastered front and center right between Kirk and Spock's. It appears she was briefly being positioned to become a major star, with <i><b>Star Trek TMP</b></i> as her breakout role. She was considered for a role in an upcoming James Bond movie, but this never came to pass, and she mostly ended up in low-budget flicks after this. MST3K fans will recall her from <i><b>Warrior of the Lost World</b></i>, where she was upstaged by Megaweapon. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2CcN5LYS4Kp47wYvCe6iVs7xTSNlnHuYddmzZH9XgK90kzpvUTTrJPv5tZtEN2qqvrJNdH-Hndm2ixCsorxBnrbF52f0iysrVIaXwGh-X_AvMPXj-Ih7mg9hTvBBCmqGXHtVvO-REdi8/s1600/st6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2CcN5LYS4Kp47wYvCe6iVs7xTSNlnHuYddmzZH9XgK90kzpvUTTrJPv5tZtEN2qqvrJNdH-Hndm2ixCsorxBnrbF52f0iysrVIaXwGh-X_AvMPXj-Ih7mg9hTvBBCmqGXHtVvO-REdi8/s1600/st6.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">People who were around in 1979 still think of <i><b>ST:TMP</b></i> as the "one with the bald lady."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span class="format">Ultimately, I'd say that <i><b>Star Trek TMP</b></i>'s strange passivity is its greatest failing. I'll tie this in with a cinematic mini-trend that I have just now thought up: "The Cinema of Spectators." <i><b>2001 </b></i>and <i><b>Close Encounters of the Third Kind</b></i> may be the greatest examples of this genre. In the Cinema of Spectators, characters are always staring, wide-eyed and opened mouthed, at some amazing sight unfolding before them. A character's goal may simply be to <i>see </i>something, rather than interact with it. Astronauts travel to the moon to look at the monolith in <i><b>2001</b></i>. Later in that movie, Dave witnesses the secrets of the universe unveiling themselves, just as we viewers do. Dave acts as a stand in for the viewer. Compare <i><b>Close Encounters</b></i> with Spielberg's other films, which all involve some kind of spectacle, but non-passive characters. In <i><b>Jaws</b></i>, they want to kill the shark; Indiana Jones wants to steal the Ark, Eliot wants to help ET get back home. In contrast, Richard Dreyfus' character in <i><b>Close Encounters</b></i> leaves his entire life behind just to get a chance to <i>witness </i>the alien spacecraft again. The classic shot construction in such films is cutting back forth between the character's motionless gaze and the spectacle they are viewing.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm4MnieBrG-NhGmVDEHGskXPfSJ1rGTbDchIA4555ED8EraSxshCLCmf16AtcAWwOTw30yBn6y8lmqv2wFFbluWcY5QGsiJ-gOZdSe-pj4tZfOz-XMGPpMLDQd6_AzqcBCaDkVUYMR4_U/s1600/st7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm4MnieBrG-NhGmVDEHGskXPfSJ1rGTbDchIA4555ED8EraSxshCLCmf16AtcAWwOTw30yBn6y8lmqv2wFFbluWcY5QGsiJ-gOZdSe-pj4tZfOz-XMGPpMLDQd6_AzqcBCaDkVUYMR4_U/s1600/st7.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some moments almost feel lifted straight out of <i><b>2001</b></i>.</td></tr>
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<span class="format"></span><br />
<span class="format">This is exactly what happens in <i><b>Star Trek: TMP</b></i>. First we have Kirk and Scotty's surprisingly long shuttle trip around the Enterprise. The cloud's attacks on the Klingon warship and a Federation space station are both witnessed by people looking at viewscreens. Once the Enterprise enters the cloud, they cannot attack it or even really communicate with it. All Kirk can do is ponder the cloud's vast and wondrous interior spaces. These special effects scenes are the meat of <i><b>ST: TMP</b></i>. We are treated to countless expensive special effects shots of the enormous alien spaceship in the heart of the cloud. Deigned by Syd Mead, all this stuff is pretty amazing looking, but is treated mostly as background scenery. Even the film's ending finds Kirk and Spock behaving in a uncharacteristically passive way. Captain Decker sacrifices himself to save the Earth, while everyone else just stands there.*</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkT9sTgtCtiIGYSTi0XaWmcip6bRhkwDf8dd6OErgIpIJRc53-MVohJOpOj6bntWdzBP7mS2V94w13iMDoUmSl8dw6ih0FbhrGLxn69w2edIzIS4kf4FZVM73wteQzFS6ZeRCzYjEa2e0/s1600/st5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkT9sTgtCtiIGYSTi0XaWmcip6bRhkwDf8dd6OErgIpIJRc53-MVohJOpOj6bntWdzBP7mS2V94w13iMDoUmSl8dw6ih0FbhrGLxn69w2edIzIS4kf4FZVM73wteQzFS6ZeRCzYjEa2e0/s1600/st5.jpg" height="170" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Countless scenes like this made <i><b>ST:TMP</b></i> cost more than <i><b>Star Wars</b></i> and <i><b>Close Encounters</b></i> combined.</td></tr>
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<span class="format"><br /></span>
<span class="format"><i><b>S</b><b>tar Trek: The Motion Pictur</b><b>e</b></i>'s over-reliance on spectacular visual effects over action and characterization makes it an interesting failure. I wouldn't call it boring, per se, but it is a bit frustrating. In some ways it resembles the original series more than the later films (it was sort of a rewrite of a TV episode called "The Changeling.</span>") Regardless, it was not the mammoth success Paramount hoped it would be. The studio reacted by shit-canning Roddenberry, hiring new production staff, and slashing the budget for the sequel by 75%. The result was a film loved by fans young and old, which we'll cover next time. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbms3PVvqxtX-0uaX-XrDbA1dFwgdZaM4n_aSqwBtVYvECT9UQk8Xq1z-YTCkbzknpZnnJM8DVvXH7xrB7TzVMiTnu0Oe7kmKruXO7fc310vghnaG7XJM0DE0I61xVwWzH3fpaARqxb4/s1600/st8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbms3PVvqxtX-0uaX-XrDbA1dFwgdZaM4n_aSqwBtVYvECT9UQk8Xq1z-YTCkbzknpZnnJM8DVvXH7xrB7TzVMiTnu0Oe7kmKruXO7fc310vghnaG7XJM0DE0I61xVwWzH3fpaARqxb4/s1600/st8.jpg" height="183" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lens flares, years before JJ Abrams.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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*Spoiler alert! At the center of the gigantic space cloud is an enormous alien spacecraft piloted by a mysterious being called V'Ger, who takes over Ilia's body (sort of.) V'Ger is guiding the cloud to Earth to meet "the creator." Eventually the Kirk and the gang manage to come face to face with V'Ger, who turns out to be an old Voyager space probe (with dirt covering up the "oya" part of the logo) who went thru a black hole to the other end of the universe and somehow merged with some super-advanced race of sentient machines or something. Decker, as one of the human "creators," fuses with V'Ger, perhaps infusing him with human intelligence, and creating a new form of life. Spock stupidly muses that they may have just witnessed the next step in human evolution. Kirk, having completed his mission, decides to immediately hightail it to furthest reaches of space just like they did in the old days, despite having no orders to do so, and not taking into consideration that his crew members might have family members on Earth they might want to check on. (Earth was literally minutes from being vaporized by a super-powerful space being. I assume some crazy end-of-the-world shit went down on the surface while all this was going on.) The End.<br />
<span class="format"><br /></span>Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-74224399200540545042015-02-19T19:23:00.000-08:002015-02-19T19:24:02.385-08:00Out of the Blue, a Book Review<br />
While we're all waiting for me to hurry and finish the new Chronsega (the one with <i><b>Revenge of Shinobi</b></i> and <i><b>Ghosts n' Ghouls</b></i> in it) I thought I'd fill some time with a book review. Though perhaps this is not really a book review. It's more like the review's dimwitted younger half-brother, the book summary. Along the way, maybe we can pick up on a few interesting points about perceptions on how movies are made.<br />
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Griffin & Masters' <i><b>Hit & Run</b></i> is a book I've had on my 'to read' list for a while. The subtitle is "How Jon Peters and Peter Guber took Sony for a ride in Hollywood." Movie industry insiders know of Sony's Peters/Guber era as a huge disaster; the pair nearly financially ruined Sony/Columbia Pictures while greatly enriching themselves. Odds are, you're not familiar with names Jon Peters & Peter Guber. They were hired to run Columbia Pictures after it was purchased by Sony in 1989. Their greed, outrageous antics, and gross mismanagement of Columbia were legendary in Hollywood at the time. Today however, most online information sources paint a deceptively bland picture of the two. The Wikipedia <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Peters" target="_blank">page for Jon Peters</a> gives a brief bio, mentions he was fired by Sony, and talks about his involvement in various superhero movies. Guber's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Guber" target="_blank">Wikipedia page</a> is positively glowing, pointing out that Sony had the highest market share of any Hollywood studio during his time there, and lists the number of Academy Award nominations Sony racked up under Guber. (Never mind that Sony's market share was achieved simply by pumping out lots of over-budget movies.) Wikipedia makes no mention of him being fired by Sony nor the massive financial losses Sony suffered while he was CEO of Columbia. And don't even get me started and Gurber's reverential <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0345542/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm" target="_blank">IMDB page</a>, or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005307/bio">Peters'</a> which makes an incredible error in claiming Sony offered Peters & Guber one billion dollars (!) to run the company.<br />
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So who were these guys and why were they so infamous? Jon Peters was a smoothing talking high school dropout who went into hairdressing and made a fortune cutting hair for the rich and famous. In the 1970s he became Barbra Streisand's stylist and eventually, her boyfriend. Peters set about remaking Streisand's image into something more contemporary and glamorous. Streisand allowed him to co-produce her upcoming film, <i><b>A Star is Born</b></i>. While officially a remake of the Hollywood classic, <i><b>Star</b></i>'s story was updated to be about Jon and Barbra. So much so that Streisand wore her own clothing in the movie and the sets were furnished using her and Jon's own furniture.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTxuUMZYMevsIAGaGxPKPrx9JGIvLn_jbdY4Tgvk-vB3S1eVY3_OJwWUbaTM0sWs-YFMxU0adGn0KaxMeSqwygSV3Ll9iZJ4dCe94sKuAUjhCLBbtY_h5x94cpcYqof1QwwHflAClWax0/s1600/mainevent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTxuUMZYMevsIAGaGxPKPrx9JGIvLn_jbdY4Tgvk-vB3S1eVY3_OJwWUbaTM0sWs-YFMxU0adGn0KaxMeSqwygSV3Ll9iZJ4dCe94sKuAUjhCLBbtY_h5x94cpcYqof1QwwHflAClWax0/s1600/mainevent.jpg" height="400" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another Jon Peters/Streisand production.</td></tr>
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<i><b> </b></i><br />
<i><b>A Star is Born</b></i> is not considered to be a good movie, but it made a nice profit, prompting Peters to start his own production company in 1977. The films he produced alternated between egregious flops (<i><b>Die Laughing</b></i>) and solid hits (<i><b>Caddyshack</b></i>.) In 1980 Peters began a bromance and business partnership with Peter Guber, together forming a partnership to produce movies for Polygram. Guber was a former Columbia Pictures exec who went into production for himself after being fired from Columbia. His first movie as an independent producer, <i><b>The Deep,</b></i> was a massive hit, it's main selling point being Jacqueline Bisset's perky nipples. <i><b>The Deep</b></i> was Guber's only movie as a 'hands on' producer. In the future he would act primarily as a behind-the-scenes deal maker.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2YI7k3e0RCFjDW_SzdKZce9tpTaXJlRlczZOgUkjbQqJAKT5Gh6I_OM9zfWYftyDIq0iXmhN2yQQGEw_vcM6SEsSa2kCwsUHxKc4y45g77uDzVhzb6jzhLzmtCycJ-YQMqEBaJQDM6d4/s1600/jacq.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2YI7k3e0RCFjDW_SzdKZce9tpTaXJlRlczZOgUkjbQqJAKT5Gh6I_OM9zfWYftyDIq0iXmhN2yQQGEw_vcM6SEsSa2kCwsUHxKc4y45g77uDzVhzb6jzhLzmtCycJ-YQMqEBaJQDM6d4/s1600/jacq.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guber stated this white t-shirt made him a rich man.</td></tr>
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Peters/Guber produced a solid hit for Polygram, <i><b>An American Werewolf in London</b></i>, as well as several disappointments, <i><b>Endless Love</b></i>, <i><b>King of the Mountain</b></i>, and <i><b>Pursuit of DB Cooper</b></i>. Polygram lost a huge amount of money on the movies it financed for Peters/Guber, yet the pair were financially well rewarded for their efforts. The two certainly had questionable taste and judgement. While at Polygram, one of their associate producers, Lynn Obst, was working on a project for a film to be called <i><b>Flashdance</b></i>. Guber saw no potential in this movie, and sold the product to Paramount on exchange for a small fee and having his name put in the credits. Paramount went ahead with <i><b>Flashdance</b></i>, which eventually pulled in $180 million. Afterwards, Guber and Peters took bragged about their association with the film, despite not being involved in the production at all. This is a recurring theme in their history: attaching their names to projects developed by other people, and claiming more creative input than they actually had. An example would be <i><b>The Color Purple</b></i>. They were ostensibly the film's producers, but Spielberg's agreement required them to be completely hands-off during the film's production. Spielberg did not even meet them until the screening. This didn't stop Peters & Gruber from calling themselves <i><b>The Color Purple</b></i>'s 'creators' in their company bio.<br />
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Aside from <i><b>The Color Purple</b></i>, Peters & Guber's company produced a series of flops/disappointments for Warner Bros, such as <i><b>Clue</b></i>, <i><b>Head Office</b></i>, <i><b>Innerspace</b></i>, <i><b>Vision Quest</b></i>, <i><b>The Legend of Billie Jean</b></i> and the disastrous <i><b>Clan of the Cave Bear</b></i>, along with the occasional hit like <i><b>The Witches of Eastwick</b></i> and <i><b>Rain Main</b></i>. Their personal involvement on <i><b>Rain Man</b></i> was minimal, not being present on the set during filming (Peters supposedly asked Hoffman "Are you playing the retard or the other guy?") However, this didn't stop them for borrowing someone else's <i><b>Rain Man</b></i> Oscar statue and posing for pictures with it at the NYC Governor's Ball.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4gb-3W5KnzC1-AeCoEJzRh649z0HmtqaxLTvBt_4epufwfvrJXsWGf8H6gV-i43jwGsETz_pNiqWpG0ftrxI4jF_dNxaXIgpw9Vs2eD1dRvafyZWM18j_x8-bFPbM1CNvkRCyYPn5Hag/s1600/oscar.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4gb-3W5KnzC1-AeCoEJzRh649z0HmtqaxLTvBt_4epufwfvrJXsWGf8H6gV-i43jwGsETz_pNiqWpG0ftrxI4jF_dNxaXIgpw9Vs2eD1dRvafyZWM18j_x8-bFPbM1CNvkRCyYPn5Hag/s1600/oscar.png" height="320" width="222" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Totally not joking about borrowing an Oscar statue for photos.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Of course, no one would give a shit about Peters and Guber today had they not made <i><b>Batman </b></i>in 1989. Unlike <i><b>Rain Man</b></i> or <i><b>Flashdance</b></i>, this was a project they were deeply involved in, having signed a contract with the owners of the film rights, Michael Uslan and Benjamin Melniker, in 1979. (Sadly, after <i><b>Batman </b></i>was underway, Uslan & Melniker's extremely valuable original contract was declared null and void, and they were forced to sign a new contract that paid them virtually nothing.) Peters was a major creative force on <i><b>Batman</b></i>. You could say <i><b>Batman </b></i>was a Jon Peters film just as much as it was a Tim Burton film. One problem with the way we think about films is that most of us apply some form of auteur theory when assigning 'credit' for the film. Some directors act as their own producer, as Hitchcock and Capra did. Others like Spielberg are powerful enough to get creative control over the movies they direct and often work with the same producer over and over again (Kathleen Kennedy in Spielberg's case.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuVzqcgGSOGSYDiXVgqQ4VJSb-1VE-6uMhEAEZ-REZyQmWZ9SXg0h5O2hawfGXgiVW9GvUPDM_OXQXGPSsv6dStvqIBAQuizz_Rg7UMZ3Qq86ue4QdFOcntz5wC6yxixabLW53q9UBAoU/s1600/batman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuVzqcgGSOGSYDiXVgqQ4VJSb-1VE-6uMhEAEZ-REZyQmWZ9SXg0h5O2hawfGXgiVW9GvUPDM_OXQXGPSsv6dStvqIBAQuizz_Rg7UMZ3Qq86ue4QdFOcntz5wC6yxixabLW53q9UBAoU/s1600/batman.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guber & Peters, at the height of their powers.</td></tr>
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Tim Burton had a close collaborator in producer Denise De Novi for such movies as <i><b>Edward Scissorhands</b></i> and <i><b>Ed Wood</b></i>, and these feel like very personal films. But when making <i><b>Batman</b></i>, he was essentially a hired gun and wouldn't have had enough pull to override his producers. In a recent "Career View"<a href="http://thedissolve.com/features/career-view/848-tim-burton-careerview/" target="_blank"> article</a> from The Dissolve, Noel Murray refers to Burton "casting" Micheal Keaton and Jack Nicholson, assuming that a director like Burton picked his own actors. In fact, Keaton and Nicholson were Peters' choices, as was Kim Basinger. Burton was hoping for a more traditional tough guy in the lead and Robin Williams as the Joker. Peters also made substantial alterations to the script, adding a bunch of action sequences and, at the last minute, crafted a new ending without discussing it with Burton first. Burton was somewhat terrorized by Peters on the set, who was prone to constantly hiring and firing crew members and who drove Burton to tears once.<br />
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Peters and Guber crafted Batman's unprecedentedly massive promotional campaign, which may have been a bigger factor in the movie's success than, you know, the actual movie. It made over $40 million in its opening weekend, a box office record, and was the 5th biggest money making movie at that time. (Without inflation factored in, of course. With changing ticket prices factored in, it currently sits at #50 in Box Office Mojo's <a href="http://boxofficemojo.com/alltime/adjusted.htm" target="_blank">list of all-time highest domestic grosses</a>. Hollywood enjoys congratulating itself simply for inflation existing.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWESUFfTak5aAVM_lPlY5HvEGzgGLhJI3SnvxMx_H7nr80Qvc0uQq6w3zKTOxUFttrjObjEhBcD503wVpBZOUam3-pso6PtpTrcDn21M-sPMTIkm5nOf1sO1Zduq-t3d4JyQUl-lPGtHw/s1600/poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWESUFfTak5aAVM_lPlY5HvEGzgGLhJI3SnvxMx_H7nr80Qvc0uQq6w3zKTOxUFttrjObjEhBcD503wVpBZOUam3-pso6PtpTrcDn21M-sPMTIkm5nOf1sO1Zduq-t3d4JyQUl-lPGtHw/s1600/poster.jpg" height="320" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Batman's saturation bombing ad campaign ensured everyone had seen this iconic logo about a million times prior to its August 1989 release</td></tr>
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Suddenly, they were the hottest producers in town, and signed a lucrative multi-year contract with Warner Bros. This is the point where this story turns from farce to tragedy. Sony decided to get into the movie business and purchased Columbia Pictures from Coca-Cola. The ailing Columbia had not had a major blockbuster movie since <i><b>Ghostbusters </b></i>in 1984. One of Sony's conditions for buying Columbia was that Sony America's VP, Micky Schulhof, find suitable management to run the studio. Now kids, I'm going to let you in a little secret about success in this world: it's not what you know, it's who you know. Peters and Guber knew Schulhof and Schulhof recommended them to Sony for the job, despite the pair having no experience in running a film studio. Jon Peters was a<i> barely literate ex-hairdresser</i>, for god's sake. Sony, in their enthusiasm paid too much for Columbia and waaay too much for Peters and Guber. Another problem was that Peters/Guber had just signed a new contract with Warner Bros. Guber told Sony that WB had promised to release them from their contract in the event of another opportunity coming up. And WB probably would have done this, if Peter and Guber had simply asked CEO Steve Ross to cancel their contract beforehand. Instead, Ross was furious when he found out about Peters/Guber's new job only <i>after </i>Sony had hired them. Legal threats quickly followed. Once Warner Bros were paid off, Peters & Guber had ended up costing Sony a staggering <b>800 million dollars</b>.<br />
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If the pair had turned Columbia into a profitable studio, Sony's outlandish expenditures might have been justifiable. Instead, the pair went spending spree: renovating the studio's lot, redecorating offices, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on antique furniture, throwing expensive birthday parties and buying Lear jets. Peter's and Guber's true love seemed to have been interior design and landscaping rather than producing movies, based on the gusto with which they threw themselves into these projects. Peters did start buying up overpriced scripts by the handful and Guber threw down obscene amounts of cash to sign up Francis Ford Coppola, Laura Ziskin, Tim Burton, Penny Marshall, and (in a seven movie deal supposedly worth $100 million) James Brooks. The theory was that Columbia had to spend a lot of money to procure the biggest and best talents. Huge profits would then follow.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJDX4Jdl0Kng4FYrlCQ1O_Hdn9kNnHVjSXcDcN4v31RiFkSxiPKVOUkj5VQKpob7LVkEgphDWSlUZ4EB5XgMSFKhg9GT6BQuQlXZQuotjZKkjsDnDXsUQL-8_vZlCsYngkvHEO3daE8M/s1600/i'lldo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJDX4Jdl0Kng4FYrlCQ1O_Hdn9kNnHVjSXcDcN4v31RiFkSxiPKVOUkj5VQKpob7LVkEgphDWSlUZ4EB5XgMSFKhg9GT6BQuQlXZQuotjZKkjsDnDXsUQL-8_vZlCsYngkvHEO3daE8M/s1600/i'lldo.jpg" height="223" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brooks' first Columbia picture, <i><b>I'll Do Anything</b></i>, lost the studio $40 million.</td></tr>
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If all these expenditures resulted in a string of <i><b>Batman</b></i>-sized hits, then the financial risks Peters & Guber were taking might have paid off. As it turned out, Peters outrageous behavior led to his firing in 1991. He had not produced a single movie in his two years at Columbia (He focused a great deal of energy on a Quixotic attempt to make an <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/1991-11-14/entertainment/ca-1975_1_jackson-movie" target="_blank">action movie starring Michael Jackson</a>.) Guber carried on spending money as Columbia's movie budgets spiraled higher and higher. Some expensive flops were produced: <i><b>Radio Flyer</b></i>, <i><b>Hudson Hawk</b></i>, <i><b>Return to the Blue Lagoon</b></i>, <i><b>Double Impact</b></i>, etc. There were some movies that turned a nice profit, <i><b>My Girl</b></i>, <i><b>Boyz in the Hood</b></i>, <i><b>Groundhog Day</b></i> and others. If you look at the list of Columbia Pictures movies from this time period, you'd think a lot of huge hits were produced. However, many of those movies were actually produced by independent production companies and merely distributed by Columbia. For example: Castle Rock (<i><b>City Slickers</b></i>, <i><b>Misery,</b></i> <i><b>A Few Good Men</b></i>, <i><b>In the Line of Fire</b></i>) and Carolco (<i><b>Terminator 2</b></i>, <i><b>Basic Instinc</b><b>t</b></i>, <i><b>Total Recall</b></i>, <i><b>Cliffhanger</b></i>.) Columbia received a much smaller slice of the profits on these, compared to its internally financed films. Despite Columbia's losses, Guber assured everyone that several surefire megahits were in production which would fill the coffers when released. <i><b>Hudson Hawk</b></i> was one these, followed by Warren Beatty's <i><b>Bugsy</b></i>. Both suffered from huge budgets: $1 million was spent to produce promotional photos alone for <i><b>Bugsy</b></i>. Until recently, I was not even aware of <i><b>Bugsy</b></i>'s status as huge flop. It got a few Oscar nominations and Wikipedia states it "did well at the box office." In fact, everyone in Hollywood knew after <i><b>Bugsy</b></i>'s limp opening weekend that Sony was going to take a beating on this movie. Sony ended up losing around $30 million.<br />
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The stuido's other big savior was supposed to be Steven Spielberg's <i><b>Hook</b></i>. Once again, an incredibly expensive film, but the <i><b>E.T.</b></i> sized profits it was expected to bring in would put Columbia into the black. In fact, <i><b>Hook </b></i>was a hit, but not a hit of Spielbergian proportions. It brought in around $25 million in profit, not even enough to make up for <i><b>Bugsy</b></i>'s losses. Guber the planned to make up for all this with yet another sure-fire money maker when he signed up Arnold Schwarzenegger for <i><b>The Last Action Hero</b></i>. The budget was outrageous, but <i>this</i><b> </b>was finally going to the one to right the Columbia ship. I think we all know what happened: <i><b>Last Action Hero </b></i>was simply not the Schwarzenegger movie people wanted to see. It had the misfortune to premier one week after <i><b>Jurassic Park</b></i>. Spielberg's movie brought in $50 million its opening weekend. <i><b>Hero </b></i>did only around $15 million. More flops followed such as <i><b>Geronimo</b></i>, a movie you've probably never heard of but which lost $40 million. In 1994 Sony finally announced that it was writing off a $3.2 billion loss due to its little Hollywood adventure.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgb8jTH0dskqXQPR_gdey-dLh3nIbVIO6YzgdTAV6T1nCWNfjSCz-_wGL5RIEsW3g_Embi4K2YgTWkC9Zm0-jTe5g-oeBuiOYgLRKfHKYpltLW19sU-hXgNLPdW5_eX5QDzcvmxM5lDQ/s1600/last.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgb8jTH0dskqXQPR_gdey-dLh3nIbVIO6YzgdTAV6T1nCWNfjSCz-_wGL5RIEsW3g_Embi4K2YgTWkC9Zm0-jTe5g-oeBuiOYgLRKfHKYpltLW19sU-hXgNLPdW5_eX5QDzcvmxM5lDQ/s1600/last.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Columbia hoped <i><b>Last Action Hero</b></i>, which cost $100 million to produce, would make about $500 million at the box office. It only brought in $50 million.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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An odd tradition in the world of CEOs and VPs is that you can be richly rewarded when they fire you for doing your job poorly. A number of Columbia executives were handed fat wads of cash as they were shown the door. When Guber himself was inevitably fired, he was sent off in style. Aside from being entitled to funds from Sony's profit sharing pool, Sony forked over around $275 million to help Guber finance his new production company. This deal included a multimillion annual dollar salary for Guber, an office suite on Columbia's lot and the right to take over certain film projects from Columbia & Tristar at his discretion. Just when you think things couldn't get any more ridiculous, Guber actually arranged for Sony to buy his old house from him at around twice its market value! Mickey Schulhof, Guber's former boss at Sony, eulogized him as "a visionary."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTkhQHXJcDiogCS1tib0U_TdIPMANcTBN_dF6hGhlLKJpRWMB70cVFSVYYGGHN0Mj1m11AcJ4j51JxDCsr_D5c1cH8PRvrtxyIyWQcEgWt-C8ob2cctQooNhku10gwvyXiDKpVbZLz8m0/s1600/gruber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTkhQHXJcDiogCS1tib0U_TdIPMANcTBN_dF6hGhlLKJpRWMB70cVFSVYYGGHN0Mj1m11AcJ4j51JxDCsr_D5c1cH8PRvrtxyIyWQcEgWt-C8ob2cctQooNhku10gwvyXiDKpVbZLz8m0/s1600/gruber.jpg" height="400" width="286" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not saying you should hate guys based solely on their appearance, but... just look at these douches.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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In retrospect, it's easy to see what the problems were. Sony paid way too much money for a pair of guys who weren't qualified for the job. Once on board, Peters and Gruber wasted Sony's money prodigiously. Guber hired a small army of executives, often with unclear responsibilities, including some relatives in purely decorative, yet high-paying, jobs. Confusion reigned at Columbia's offices and no one knew who was in charge of what. Guber often shirked when it came to decision making. Movies went dramatically over budget: <i><b>Hook </b></i>and <i><b>Last Action Hero</b></i> were among the most expensive movies ever made. A decent number of movies produced under Peters/Guber made money; the problem was Columbia spent too much money on average per picture to make any profit.<br />
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Sony's unfamiliarity with Hollywood and American business culture was part of their problem. Peters and Guber were totally mercenary in their actions. They went into the Sony deal with the goal of enriching themselves and enjoying themselves on Sony's dime, instead of making money for Sony. Eventually Sony brought it's movie division back around to profitability and is now a film-making juggernaut. For 5 years, however, they endured one of the most embarrassing debacles in Hollywood history.<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-89701478693353917452014-12-11T16:39:00.002-08:002014-12-11T16:43:02.491-08:00Wrapping Up 2013It feels like ages ago that I did my Favorite Albums of 2012 (and I guess it was a couple years ago.) I'm now a year behind, so to get caught up I made a quick little video of me babbling on for way too long, discussing my favorite albums of 2013.<br />
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Why a video? I guess because it allowed me to insert some sound snippets, so you could actually hear the music instead of just reading about it. Sort of like my original concept for Chrontendo as a video series. The thing goes on way too long, since unlike Chrontendo, I simply let the camera roll and started blathering with pretty much zero planning ahead of time. Also, the sound is kinda bad, partially due to the echo, and some heavy handed use of noise removal. The camera picked up quite a few background hums from the fridge and so on. Since the Video Nasty series also involved filmed opening sequences, I'll get a clip mic at some point.<br />
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For those who don't want to watch the video but are curious, here's the list:<br />
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Deafheaven, <i><b>Sunbather</b></i><br />
Mebbe my favorite record of the year? Dunno. It's kind of hard to pin down what genre of of music this is. Black metal bent dragged kicking and screaming into shoegaze?<br />
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Run the Jewels, <i><b>s/t</b></i><br />
Two of my favorite records of 2012 were those from Killer Mike and El-P. Now they made a record together?<br />
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Anjo Gabriel, <i><b>Lucifer Rising</b></i><br />
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Super-obscure stuff here. Sort of alternate soundtrack to the Kenneth Anger film, done in a giddily psychedelic style.<br />
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Gorguts, <i><b>Colored Sands</b></i><br />
Surprisingly great reunion album from the famous Canadian 'technical' metal band.<br />
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Chelsea Wolfe, <i><b>Pain is Beauty</b></i><br />
Local girl makes good with a couple great gothy singer-songwriter LPs, then splits town and releases more high-profile stuff like this.<br />
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Russian Circles, <i><b>Memorial</b></i><br />
Wolfe also turns up on the new album from these latter day post-metal bigshots.<br />
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Botanist, <i><b>IV: Mandragora</b></i><br />
This one-man weirdo-metal project from the Bay Area percussionist Otrebor is finally starting to get some aboveground acclaim.<br />
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Earl Sweatshirt, <i><b>Doris</b></i><br />
Earl's earlier mixtape was probably the most interesting release from the whole Odd Future Wolf Gang crew. He disappeared for a year or two before suddenly re-emerging with Doris, his official debut.<br />
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Kavinsky, <i><b>Outrun</b></i><br />
Highly entertaining and beautifully packaged disc of 80s infused synth music from this French electronic musician and associate of Daft Punk. One song ended up in the movie Drive.<br />
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The Lion's Daughter and Indian Blanket, <i><b>Black Sea</b></i><br />
Sort of an underground collaboration between a metal band and a folk band, both from Missouri. More people oughta hear this record.<br />
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Julia Holter, <i><b>Loud City Song</b></i><br />
A great collection of artsy tunes from this Los Angeles singer-songwriter. <br />
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Fuck Buttons, <i><b>Slow Focus</b></i><br />
First record in four years from this noisy British electronic duo. Somehow a couple of their songs were used in the 2012 Olympic ceremony.<br />
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Atlantean Kodex, <i><b>The White Goddess</b></i><br />
Fantastic piece of epic-sounding fantasy metal from this German band. I hope these guys aren't neo-nazis or anything, because this record seems to be a concept album with a pan-European, pagan theme.<br />
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Oranssi Pazuzu, <i><b>Valonielu</b></i><br />
Great piece of Finnish psychedelic black metal (as Encyclopaedia Metallum categorizes them). I could use more psychedelic black metal in my life.<br />
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Rob, <i><b>Maniac (Original Soundtrack)</b></i><br />
No one liked the remake of Joe Spinelli's grimy slasher movie, but damn, the soundtrack was sweet. Robert Coudert is yet another French musician with ties to Daft Punk.<br />
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Janelle Monae, <b>The Electric Lady</b><br />
Not quite a ear-opening as Monae's previous record, <i><b>The ArchAndroid</b></i>, but her mix of soul, hip-hop, rock and electronica remains just as spectacular as ever.<br />
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Earthless, <i><b>From the Ages</b></i><br />
The newest LP from the reigning kings of California stoner rock. <br />
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John Wizards, <i><b>s/t</b></i><br />
First LP from this South African band. People have said they sound a bit like Vampire Weekend, only good.<br />
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Chvrches, <i><b>The Bones of What You Beleive</b></i><br />
Ultra slick debut album from this Scottish popsters. The Scottish have always been good at making cheery pop music.<br />
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Oneohtrix Point Never, <i><b>R Plus Seven</b></i><br />
Another good record from this prolific electronic musician.<br />
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I also pointed out a few select reissues, including the ultra-rare psyche classic, Dark's <i><b>Round the Edges</b></i>; the latest in the Bob Dylan Bootleg Series; and Light in the Attic's 3 LP set of private press new age music, called <i><b>I am the Center</b></i>.<br />
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There you have it folks. Please feel free to tell me how tragically mistaken my choices are. Hopefully sometime after Chronsega 8, I'll do something similar for my favorite records for 2014.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-32088660906229474812014-12-03T23:29:00.000-08:002014-12-03T23:31:09.622-08:00A Few Decisions MadeHey everyone. I'm been putting some thought into how to handle the new series on YouTube, and almost everyone seems to be in agreement that it would be best to use a separate channel. This is certainly not a bad idea, since not everyone who is into Chrontendo would want to see the movie stuff, and vice versa. Honestly if it weren't for the non-family friendly nature of the series, I don't think it would be a problem. I know people watch Chrontendo at work and so on, so I'll probably end up spinning this off onto a separate Dr. Sparkle channel. I'm not sure if YT allows the same "user" to have multiple channels. <br />
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As for concerns of the account getting shut down for various reasons: I don't think this will be a huge issue. In terms of copyright, I know YT will shut down accounts if they get multiple takedown requests from rights holders. But plain-old content match notices are pretty uneventful. I dunno if you've noticed, but 99% of my videos' content is copyrighted material. I usually just acknowledge them and then ignore them. The Chrontendo account is still in perfectly good standing with YouTube. For most people, content matches only become a problem if they have their channel monetized.<br />
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If any of you have uploaded your own videos on Youtube, you'll know that content matches tend to be weird, random bullshit. <i>There isn't a correlation between the copyrightedness of your content and the odds of giving a content match.</i> Music seems to get hit more than video. Sometimes I have no idea why a content match was triggered. So content matches are clearly bogus. At least one episode of Chrontendo isn't viewable in some countries because of a match on some completely obscure Japanese game. Yet I never get matches on any well known games.<br />
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In terms of violence, nudity, etc in the videos being a problem. Well.... kids, it's time for some real talk. (spins chair around and sits down with arms crossed on chair back.) I don't know if you guys dig too deep into the dark recesses of YT, but... there is plenty of sex to see there. You should have no problems finding graphic nudity on YT if that is what you are looking for. Or even if you're not. One fellow told me that after their child was born, they went looking for breastfeeding tips on YouTube and instead found tons of vids that are pretty blatantly aimed at dudes with a breastfeeding fetish. At this point, softcore porn is a sizable YT genre. These aren't obscure vids; some of them rack up millions of views. Heck, if you want to see <i><b>Cannibal Holocaust</b></i>, you can watch the whole damn thing on YT:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/YDspSR8u0hY" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Anyhoo, I've got a bit of work to do before the debut episode is ready. It might come out around the same time as Chronsega 9. To answer one specific question about which films will be covered: there are three categories of so-called Nasties. The core 39 Nasties being the ones that ended up on the final DPP list of prosecuted films. <i><b>Forest of Fear</b></i>/<i><b>Toxic Zombies</b></i> was one of these 39 "true" Nasties. Additionally, there were films that were on the list for a while but were eventually dropped. And finally, there is the DPP Section 3 list: films that could be seized from shops under the less serious Section 3 provision. There are some pretty mainstream films on the Section 3 list, including <i><b>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</b></i>, <i><b>The Thing</b></i>, etc. Just to give us a wider pool to choose from, I'll select films from all three. Some pretty obscure, interesting films found their way onto the Section 3 list, so I can't ignore that.<br />
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Lastly, I've been told I forgot to upload an MKV version of Chrontendo 48. Whoops. I've rendered one and am uploading it now.<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-39645446325303950702014-11-30T20:18:00.000-08:002014-11-30T20:18:38.103-08:00A Dr. Sparkle SidequestMy Goodness! It's a top secret preview of my new project, only available to those who read the blogs or check the Twitter account! So this is a soft launch, sort of a pilot episode of this new series, not viewable on Youtube without the link.<br />
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This thing doesn't even technically have a title yet. Uh, if you have any clever suggestions let me know. This is a film-related video series, focusing specifically on a bizarre phenomenon that's always fascinated me, the "Video Nasties." I have a filmed intro in this video where I give some explanation as to what exactly a video nasty is. In short, there was a moral panic in the UK during the early 80s over imported horror films on VHS tape. This lead to a number of video tapes being straight-out banned. Much of the outrage over these so-called video nasties was fueled by sensationalistic tabloids.<br />
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In most cases, police would simply raid video stores, seizing tapes that looked morally objectionable. Eventually an official list of seizable video titles was compiled; the videos on this list comprise the filmic corpus known as the 'video nasties'; films that were so violent and revolting it was illegal to sell them. They range from well-known horror/sleaze classics such as Lucio Fulci's <i><b>Zombie </b></i>or Deodato's <b><i>Cannibal Holocaust</i></b> to completely obscure stuff like the movie covered in this episode. It's a fascinating list of films, and I'm sure we'll make some great discoveries working through them.<br />
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The format is this: each episode I examine another film on the list, sort of at random (but not really). I plan each episode to be around 15-20 minutes in length. This pilot has a long introduction from me, so it runs a bit over. There are a few potential problems with this series. One: most of these films are copyrighted and this could lead to requests for their removal. And, Two: the content on these could fall afoul of YouTube's content standards. Supposedly you aren't allowed to show too much crazy stuff on YouTube (though there's plenty of it to be found if you look.) Anything that gets pulled from YouTube should be able to exist on Archive. Consider this episode to be test run for the series.<br />
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Here's the video:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/7UH-t1iHeig" width="560"></iframe> <br />
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If you have any thoughts, comments, suggestions, etc, please let me know.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-70191036998902844072014-11-19T12:10:00.002-08:002014-11-20T21:08:27.988-08:00About Damn Time<b>Update:</b> Chrontendo Episode 48 is now <a href="https://archive.org/details/ChrontendoVolume48" target="_blank">up on Archive</a>. Despite Youtube now having 60 fps capabilities, downloading the Archive version is still the way to get the best looking form of Chrontendo.<br />
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Your eyes do not deceive you. There is, in fact, a new episode of Chrontendo available for your viewing pleasure. If it's any consolation, this episode is absurdly long. Longer than Chronsega 8. A little over an hour and 50 minutes. This is mostly due to the 1989 arcade roundup, which is a good 50 minutes or so by itself.<br />
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The exciting news is that Youtube is now supporting 60 FPS videos in the 720p and 1080p formats. At the moment, this option is only available in Chrome, and, apparently the Nightly version of Firefox. If you click on the gear to choose your desired resolution and see a "60FPS" next to 720p, then you know your browser supports it. Episode 48 may be found on Youtube <a href="http://youtu.be/M3T-58PXRv0" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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A downloadable 60 FPS version will be available on Archive.org in the near future. <br />
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1989 was a banner year for coin-op games. It was the year beat-em-ups took over arcades. We'd already had Double Dragon, a massive hit a couple years prior. But '89 saw the release of <i><b>Golden Axe</b></i>, <i><b>TMNT</b></i>, <i><b>Final Fight</b></i>, and so on. It wouldn't be long before Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat created a fighting game mania that swept beat-em-ups into the dustbin of history, but for 2-3 glorious years beat-em-ups were the kings of the arcade.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The glory days of beat-em-ups</td></tr>
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Aside from beat-em-ups, we have a number of interesting shoot-em-ups, most notably <i><b>Zero Wing</b></i> and <i><b>XMultiply</b></i>. Also, puzzle games, such as <i><b>Klax</b></i>, Atari's polygonal 3D sci-fi racer,<i><b> Stun Runner</b></i>, Capcom's peerless action game, <i><b>Strider</b></i>, and many others.<br />
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As for the Famicom/NES, the results are a little less promising. Episode 48 covers the tail end of August 1989 and most of September. There were a lot of US only games in September, so we cover half this time and will pick up the rest in Episode 49. At this time, there were really no US companies developig NES games, so instead we get treated with stuff from the UK (Rare and Zippo) and Australia (Beam Software.)<br />
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In terms of notable games, we mostly have two Japanese-developed ports of successful US computer games: Kemco's <i><b>Uninvited</b></i> and Pony Canyon's <i><b>Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatar</b></i>. <b>Uninvited</b> the third and final of the three Icom Simulation games released for the system. LIke <i><b>Shadowgate</b></i>, it is noted for its colorful, unfair, and frequent deaths.<br />
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<i><b>Ultima IV: Quest for the Avatar</b></i> was once a serious contender for "greatest RPG ever made." Today it feels like one of the better old school RPGS: better than Wizardry but still sort of tedious. The gimmick here is that instead of just killing everyone, you need to morally improve your character. This is mostly done by killing lots of monsters, but also by giving gold coins to beggars you meet in town. Pony Canyon's port gives it a Dragon Quest inspired makeover.<br />
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On the flip side of the coin, we have a few US-only pieces of crap. Hi-Tech's <i><b>Hollywood Squares</b></i> (developed by Rare) and LJN's <i><b>Sesame Street ABC</b></i> (from Rare associates Zippo Games.) Both are quickly knocked off pieces of crap that are best ignored, though <i><b>Sesame Street</b></i> is actually a little brazen in just<i> how little</i> content it gives you: a mere two minigames.<br />
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To reach the deepest depths of horrible game design we must turn to Beam's <i><b>Bad Street Brawler</b></i>. A port of a computer game released under several names, including (the Lou Reed inspired?) Street Hassle, BSB is game design at it's laziest. A tediously repetitive single-plane beat-em-up, <i><b>BSB</b></i> <i>almost</i> cruises by just on it's weirdness. Aside from the fact that the protagonist looks completely different in-game than he does on the title screen and the between-level illustrations, BSB has trench coat clad flashers giving you powerups, and gorillas attacking you with bananas. Character designs have been radically altered from the computer version; what was originally a little old lady throwing a purse at you is now a very short circus strongman throwing dumbbells at you. Unfortunately, all this wackiness can't distract from the sheer monotony and frustration of the game.<br />
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The rest:<br />
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<i><b>American Dream</b></i><br />
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Japanese game design at its wackiest. Another game in Coconut's Pachio-kun series, <i><b>American Dream</b></i> dispenses with pachinko entirely and instead gives you an pseudo-RPG where you conquer New York by playing slot machines. (gambling tip: slot machines are for old ladies and scrubs. Don't play slots.) <i><b>American Dream</b></i> finds itself in the unfortunate category of games that are both apeshit crazy and boring as hell. Hardcore Gaming 101 <a href="http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/americandream/americandream.htm" target="_blank">covered this one</a> a few years ago.<br />
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<i><b>Gekitou Pro Wrestling!!</b></i>/<i><b>Tecmo Wrestling</b></i><br />
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Tecmo had some very popular sports series, such as <i><b>Tecmo Bowl</b></i>, but their wrestling game never took off. Its most notable feature is the announcer doing nonstop commentary.<br />
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<i><b>Marusa no Onna</b></i><br />
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A high quality Capcom adventure game, based on the popular Juzo Itami movie, <i><b>A Taxing Woman</b></i>. Capcom would release another Itami related game later in 1989.<br />
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<i><b> Idol Hakkenden</b></i><br />
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Also a high quality adventure game, developed by Natsume. This is another game based on the novel <i><b>Nansō Satomi Hakkenden, </b></i>though the samurai of the novels have been replaced with young singing 'idols.'<br />
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<i><b>Chuuka Taisen </b></i> <br />
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This the third time we've encountered this Chinese themed shoot-em-up. It's still not very good.<br />
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<b><i>RoboCop</i></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RoboDerp</td></tr>
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A sort-of port of Data East's arcade game. Totally unremarkable, but the ZX Spectrum version was one of the best selling games on that system, for reasons understood only by the British.<br />
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<i><b>Jordan Vs Bird: One on One</b></i><br />
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Milton Bradley hired Rare to port the EA computer game to the NES. Inferior sequel to the much loved <i><b>One On One</b></i>, with Micheal Jordan swapped in for Dr J.<br />
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<i><b>Ochin ni Toshi Puzzle Tonjan!?</b></i><br />
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Oddball puzzle game mixing <i><b>Sokoban</b></i>, mahjong tiles and pigs.<br />
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<i><b>Racer Mini Yonku: Japan Cup</b></i><br />
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Not even a real racing game. Konami and Tamiya bring you this game about racing little electric toy cars.<br />
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<i><b>Tanigawa Koji no Shogi Shinan III</b></i><br />
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The final game we'll see to bear the name of the famed shogi master Tanigawa Koji.<br />
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Next up: I'll be unveiling a couple miscellaneous vids, unrelated to gaming. Then it's onto the new Chronsega.<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-6845198448440561262014-11-01T16:44:00.001-07:002014-11-01T16:47:28.088-07:00Housecleaning and AnnouncementsRight. I know that everything has been pretty quiet on the Chrontendo front for quite some time. It sure feels like Chrontendo has become the Dresden Codak of videogame blogs lately. Let me assure you that at least it's not turning into the Achewood of game blogs. Not anytime soon, anyway.<br />
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Hell, if <a href="http://atariage.com/forums/index.php?automodule=blog&blogid=87&" target="_blank">Chronogamer</a> can suddenly bring back his project after a few years, I can keep this one going. <br />
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Chrontendo Episode 48 is completely recorded and is being edited now. I'm not going to speculate about an actual release date. Depends on how things go in the personal life.<br />
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I'll be doing a bit of maintenance on this site, such as updating links etc. Most of you will be aware of this, but another big player entered the chrono-gaming arena a while ago. Jeremy Parish started doing a Game Boy video series, in a very sensible one-game-per-episode fashion. The series starts here:<br />
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Currently he's up to 18 games. So anyone hoping I would do a chron-Game Boy thing now has a perfectly acceptable alternative. Parish even sounds a bit like me.<br />
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I know there are a number of other chrono type gaming projects out there. I have a bad habit of finding out about one, thinking that I can remember it instead of bookmarking it, and then forgetting what it was called. Please fill me in on any that you know about, so I can add them to the links. <br />
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I also have a couple non-gaming projects going on, one of which has already surfaced. The <a href="http://starwarsjaxxn.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Jaxxon Appreciation Society </a>is an in-depth look at Marvel's Star Wars comic book series, which ran from 1977 to 1986. Jaxxon was, of course, the bipedal green talking rabbit that appeared in the series. My inspiration was Matt Yezpitelok's <a href="http://superman86to99.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Superman '86-'99</a>, dedicated to the John Byrne reboot era Superman comics. JAS just launched last week, and so far it's got the first two issues in the can.<br />
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Also in the works: more frequent updates to the Chrontendo Tumblr. Specifically, regular status updates, to let you know how upcoming episodes are progressing.<br />
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You may have heard that Youtube has unlocked 60 fps capabilities for HD videos. At the moment, this only works on Chrome. I'll upload Episode 48 in 60 fps form and see how it works. I sure hope it will be compatible with other browsers soon.<br />
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That's it for today. Check back soon.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-68509713003315697832014-04-28T18:49:00.001-07:002014-04-28T19:32:00.318-07:00You Input is RequestedThose of you who read the Twitter feed have already seen this, but I'm soliciting opinions from folks who have clear memories of playing SNES games on the real hardware.<br />
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You might be wondering why I'm asking about this. Please don't read anything into this. I'm just looking for input on representing SNES games.<br />
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The video below is around 8 minutes, and asks you to chose from three options on three different games. Your choices should not all the be same letter, so if you say "B is best on all three," I'll be suspicious. The best way to see the video is by downloading the full version from the link below. The video is pretty damn big, 500 MB but Mega usually downloads really fast. Just click on "Download to your computer," and it will start downloading, and THEN ask you where you want to save the file. That seems backwards, I know.<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1649979458"><br /></a>
<a href="https://mega.co.nz/#!b8B3nY4Q!M4dLltMAi1dADBSXkJQ2DH8JrgWO_jBRMxTQx85fnSE">https://mega.co.nz/#!b8B3nY4Q!M4dLltMAi1dADBSXkJQ2DH8JrgWO_jBRMxTQx85fnSE</a><br />
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If downloading is not an option, you can watch it on Youtube here: <a href="http://youtu.be/-D7ygcqTOXc">http://youtu.be/-D7ygcqTOXc</a><br />
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However, the YT version will be have been reprocessed and will look different than the original video. <br />
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Just tell me in the comments below, or on the Youtube comments, which version looks/sounds the best for each game. I'm curious about the colors on Zelda. I remember the colors being quite soft and pastel-like, but I'm not sure which version looks the most accurate.<br />
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Thanks for your assistance.<br />
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And, yes, I know how hilarious it is that I missed that first coin in Super Mario World. I haven't played that game in years, OK? <br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-44443222612208760632014-04-03T22:07:00.003-07:002014-04-03T22:08:37.072-07:00Beertendo goes British!<br />
Hello everyone! Today brings the return of Beertendo, with <i>a very special episode.</i> But first, a few announcements.<br />
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Don't bother checking the site for an April Fools Day post/video/etc this year. I think we can all agree that this kind of shit is played out. If I think of anything clever next year, maybe I'll work up a little somethin' somethin'. If you are absolutely starving for April Fools content, I suppose you can always rewatch the <a href="http://youtu.be/-67BV7mJ5LI">Chron-CD-i video.</a><br />
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Also, Chrontendo Episode 48 has obviously not dropped yet, despite it's promised arrival date of 3/21/14. I was originally hoping Ep. 48 would be a quickie episode, but I've decided to add in the 1989 arcade game roundup. Anyway, it's coming along, and will hopefully be complete soon. To tantalize you guys further, I'll point out that Ep. 48 will feature <i><b>American Dream</b></i>, Coconuts Japan's pseudo-RPG slot machine game! Starring your favorite 8 bit mascot, Pachio-kun! Please contain your excitement.<br />
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Today, however, we are pleased to announce the thrilling fucking return of Beertendo, a recurring feature where I drink beers, and ... write about them. This installment will look at the wonderful, horrible world of British beers! To maintain the British theme, please keep Arne's <i><b>Rule, Britannia </b></i>on repeat while reading this post. Maybe picture me wearing a Beefeater outfit, or perhaps dressed like Austin Powers.<br />
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The story of British beer is one of glory and grandeur, followed by inevitable decline, <i>much like the Empire itself</i>. Many of the styles we Americans drink today originated in England: porters, stouts, pale ales, barleywines, etc. During the early years of the USA, British ale was the primary inspiration for our own beer, and this remained true until the influx of German immigrants in the second half of the 19th century. Like so many other things, brewing in the UK suffered during the rapid industrialization of the 20th century. By the 1960s, a series of corporate buyouts, takeovers and mergers had consolidated the country's brewing industry into 6 major brewers. Today, many of the great British breweries have been absorbed into same multinational conglomerates that own the big North American and European beers. Additionally, lagers have displaced traditional ales as the preferred style among young British beer drinkers. As a result, if go into a typical London bar nowadays you'll find Heineken, Guinness, Stella Artois, Bud, and Foster on tap, just like you would anywhere else in the world. While quite a few traditional breweries still exist in the UK, many of the legendary British ales, such as Bass No. 1, <a href="http://draftmag.com/cellar/uncapped-44-25-and-4-year-old-thomas-hardys-ale/">Thomas Hardy's Ale</a>, or Courage Imperial Russian Stout, stopped production some years ago. (Though after a 30 year hiatus, Wells and Young's began brewing Courage IRS again recently - <b>for the US market</b>. Though they did start selling it the UK again a year later.)<br />
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English beer fanatics rebelled against the lager encroachment in the early 70s. The<b> Campaign for Real Ale</b> was launched to promote traditional British brewing. The <b>Great British Beer Festival</b>, a yearly beer competition, was launched a few years later. Today, "real" ale, meaning cask brewed ale, has a pretty solid fan base in the UK, and a decent selection of these beers are imported into the US.<br />
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Those of you who were around in the mid-90s might recall that British beers were considered pretty hip at the time. Drinking Bass or Newcastle* was a sign of sophistication. My wife actually liked some swill called Watney's Red Barrel. Perhaps your town had, like mine, a British pub type establishment which served Fuller's, Courage and Worthington, along with fish and chips and shepherd's pie. Today, however, I''m going try a few smaller English beers, all of which fall into the "real ale" style.<br />
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<i><b>Bluebird Bitter</b></i> is probably the most well known beer from Coniston Brewing Company, a brewer founded in the mid '90s that specialized in ales for the CAMRA crowd. The bottle states that it is "Award Winning," and Coniston's site lists an impressive number of medals from various beer festivals.<br />
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It pours a nice orange color with a thin head of foam that resolves into a slender ring with a bit of lacing. I got very little smell from it. Bluebird has a relatively light body with that sort of creamy feel that British brewers seem to value so much.<br />
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It definitely has that distinct, British flavor to it. It might be the Challenger hops. It's a very pleasant, unassuming beer. Sort of a earthy malt flavor with a wee bit of bitter hops and a slight metallic taste. Alcohol is pretty low, 4.2%, though Coniston's website claims a <i>shockingly low 3.6%.</i> Mild flavor. It's not really a memorable beer, however. It seems like an average pale ale style beer to me. I'd rate it "good" but it almost seems....just a little too timid.<br />
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Next up is <b>Adnams Broadside</b>. Adnams is a Suffolk based brewer that's been around since the mid 1800s. Broadside seems to be their flagship ale, and has won "Best Bitter" awards at the Great British Beer Festival, and similar festivals. It's a dark golden color, with a bit more alcohol that Bluebird: 6.5%. Again, it produces a head that quickly disappears.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, had to use a stock photo.</td></tr>
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Much like Bluebird, it's a very creamy, slightly sweet beer. As is typical of British beers, the malt is forward. Hops are pretty subtle. There's sort of a woody, nutty flavor. Just like the Bluebird it has this metallic aftertaste that seems characteristic of British beers.<br />
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Again: this beer is good tasting , but so polite, almost unassuming. It doesn't make you jump out of your chair and scream "damn! that is one fine tasting beer!"<br />
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Moving along, we have <i><b>Fuller's 1845</b></i>.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another stock photo. I was ill prepared for this post.</td></tr>
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Jeez, i guess the British like putting years on their beer bottles - Broadside sports a prominent "1672." Some major nostalgia for the glory days of the empire I'd wager. In the case of Fuller's, 1845 was the year the brewery was founded.<br />
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At 6.30 ABV it's a bit stronger than the typical English beer. 1845 is a bit darker than the other two ales, but has the same rapidly vanishing head, though the Fuller's starts out pretty thick and foamy at first.<br />
Compared to Bluebird or Broadside, the Fuller's is bursting with flavor. Very prominent roasted malts and yeasts dominate. The hops are pretty slight, but one thing that stands out is the molasses flavor, with sort of a licorice aftertaste. There are hints of a old musty, woodsy taste. In my opinion, this beer is much more interesting than the two above. Fuller's seems a bit more aligned with the tastes of US beer drinkers. You often see it at British themed bars in this country, and a wide range of Fuller's brews are readily available in US stores. All the Fuller's beers I've had have been very tasty, with the Fullers Vintage being my favorite. The funny thing is that despite Fuller's being around for over 150 years, both Vintage Ale and 1845 were introduced in the 1990s.<br />
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My takeaway from this is that it's clear that beer geeks in the US and UK have pretty different tastes. Traditionally, European beers are very malt-orientated; in the US we tend to downplay the malty, bready flavors, and instead, hoppy beers are enormously popular. The American beer scene is much less beholden to tradition, and bizarre beer experiments are the norm. Big, powerful, high-alcohol beers are prized in the US, while in the UK they tend to go for smoother, more subtle flavors. There are many, many fantastic beers from the UK, but many of the CAMRA-endorsed cask ales I've had were a little on the underwhelming side.<br />
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If you were to ask me what my favorite British brewer is, I'd say Yorkshire's Samuel Smith Brewery, without hesitation. Smith's greatest accomplishment must be the mighty, mighty Yorkshire Stingo. A "strong ale" at 9.0% ABV, Stingo is huge, bursting with flavors: malty, fruity, sugary, oakey. Pretty much everything you could want in a British beer. It's brewed only once a year, and is a bit pricier that other Samuel Smith ales, but it's clearly worth it. Smith's stuff is readily available in the US, and I see it even in places like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. If you've never tried the Oatmeal Stout, Imperial Stout and Taddy Porter, get these beers NOW. They are a steal.<br />
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I'd rate these beers as:<br />
Bluebird Bitter: B<br />
Adnams Broadside: B<br />
Fuller's 1845: B+<br />
Yorkshire Stingo: A-<br />
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Checking on BeerAdvocate, I see readers rate these as 87, 86, 92 & 92 respectively. RateBeer gives them a 67, 91(!), 99 & 97. <br />
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*No longer brewed in Newcastle, and now owned by Heineken.<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-47696873057317300292014-03-03T00:03:00.002-08:002014-03-03T00:06:09.992-08:00Why?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Let me point out that, first of all, the new episode of Chrontendo is ready. You can download it in glorious 60 FPS in its purest version <a href="https://archive.org/details/ChrontendoVolume47">here on Archive</a>. Or you can stream an inferior, yet <a href="http://youtu.be/2KMlXRshQ0Y">HD version on Youtube</a>. Take your pick. I'll warn you that the Youtube version might screw up various flicker effects however.<br />
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Before I go into the specifics of the new episode, I'd like the discuss the obvious question that many of you might have, "Why was there such a huge delay with Episode 47? What exactly have you been doing for the last several months?" Should I even attempt to answer these kinds of questions? On one hand, Chrontendo is something I do on my own time, absolutely free of charge. I can stop doing it anytime I want, no questions asked. On the other hand, Chrontendo isn't <i>really </i>free. I've asked something very precious of you: your time. I've created these videos, and you've invested your time watching them. Since so many of you have graciously invested many hours of your own lives on Chrontendo, I feel I owe you a great deal. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An idea of how much editing goes into a long complicated segment like "Mother." </td></tr>
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The simplest answer I can give you is that I've been busy with life in general. Dr. Sparkle is a guy with a wife, two dogs, a full time job, a daily commute through traffic, a sink that is always full of dirty dishes, a mother who's not in the best of health, a mother-in-law and father-in-law who aren't in good health, a lawn where the weeds never stop growing, floors that always need the to have dog hair vacuumed off of them, laundry that always needs to be done...it goes on and on. Every day I get up, rush off to work, arrive home in the afternoon, have a bit of time to relax, then start making dinner, eat dinner, do dishes, and then... the day is over.<br />
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Don't get me wrong; I do have free time to do things I enjoy. I often haunt the beer stores, looking for the latest beers to arrive. If you love beer, you need this kind of persistence, and sometimes it pays off. I was able to score a few bottles of The Abyss recently, as well six-packs of Bourbon County Stout, the Firestone Walker limited release beers; all kinds of great stuff. I also enjoy shopping for records. My town has about 5 good record stores, and good records are like good beers: they go fast. You need to spend a lot of time shopping. I also bought a fancy record cleaning machine recently, and let me tell you, scrubbing records takes time. I spend a lot of time listening to music, reading though music sites, listening to music on Youtube, checking sites for pre-orders of limited edition LPs, and so on. Music is a time consuming hobby.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS-k8mksRwDleLsn_PMjkPanV_371SrA1wA6Un6Gp8CXGSBEP2WjybeNXOzucyBBVB05_s3lT3kD3yhr_u7T-ELGuBVlymIP76dICVhzVvKMRyFPlPlYVxaPTJeIZFp3AG5ZyJRR6IR8M/s1600/vpi.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS-k8mksRwDleLsn_PMjkPanV_371SrA1wA6Un6Gp8CXGSBEP2WjybeNXOzucyBBVB05_s3lT3kD3yhr_u7T-ELGuBVlymIP76dICVhzVvKMRyFPlPlYVxaPTJeIZFp3AG5ZyJRR6IR8M/s1600/vpi.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what a fancy record cleaning machine looks like. And it's the first LP of All Things Must Pass, German pressing, in case you're wondering.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Another time-consuming hobby: playing videogames. Sometimes I like to like to play non-NES games. Also, watching movies. I'm paying for Netflix, so I might as well try to use it. I'm so far behind on my movies, I haven't even seen that last Batman movie yet. And don't even talk to about the stuff I've bought during Steam sales or on Humble Bundle. (Suuurre, I'll get around to playing <i><b>Spelunky</b></i> one of these days.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP2rVIpD957phtB0HIjTsBXn-JtotZuIZDELzTHRRKsz9bTxPcoK-M_9DGGWQ28KKrXDRdwYW0ceZ83gEnI2QmhYqQxoEYQ6PQsTXT3agURgQRnScCv_V5xubaqGbjbphyphenhyphen91zs_mRtJiU/s1600/steam.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP2rVIpD957phtB0HIjTsBXn-JtotZuIZDELzTHRRKsz9bTxPcoK-M_9DGGWQ28KKrXDRdwYW0ceZ83gEnI2QmhYqQxoEYQ6PQsTXT3agURgQRnScCv_V5xubaqGbjbphyphenhyphen91zs_mRtJiU/s1600/steam.png" height="275" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It looks bad, then I remember all the Humble Bundle game codes I haven't redeemed yet...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Here's the scariest thing of all: as you get older, time seems to contract. For you younger folks out there: this phenomenon is real and it will take you by surprise. The older you get, the faster time moves. Weeks feel like days, months feel like weeks. I'm not joking. It will happen to you, and when it does it will be terrifying. At some point, you will realize you're used up about 50% of your life, and then the panic sets in. There's no way you can prepare for this, so consider yourself warned.<br />
<br />
On top of all this, I think I got out of the habit of working on Chrontendo when I tore apart my office. The computer I use to create Chrontendo on was unplugged for a while, and once I got everything set back up, it wasn't easy to get back into the flow. Not that I'm trying to blame outside circumstances. There's only one reason for the delay, and that's me. Procrastination, laziness, bad work habits -- these things are what caused the recent slowdown.<br />
<br />
I've made a commitment to get episodes out more frequently, and also to release more content on the Youtube channel. For the sake of the viewers I will do my best to fulfill that commitment.<br />
<br />
I'll keep the rest of this brief. Three big games this episode:<br />
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<i><b>Mother</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYHnQdCQtAHmxgoSJF5hxqEEongQflGEgGqnQxsrjaiGGxeXnEgfSyKW5AVEyhohV57L7ntRLWAQBT9PyIZ-CsKfdYZ-Zz2HsH-MWQ7PKajfpfrsHY-XEm6iQPO6pA29eJct7CaIgmlQ/s1600/eb.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYHnQdCQtAHmxgoSJF5hxqEEongQflGEgGqnQxsrjaiGGxeXnEgfSyKW5AVEyhohV57L7ntRLWAQBT9PyIZ-CsKfdYZ-Zz2HsH-MWQ7PKajfpfrsHY-XEm6iQPO6pA29eJct7CaIgmlQ/s1600/eb.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Nintendo's first RPG. While <i><b>Mother </b></i>is clearly inspired by <i><b>Dragon Quest</b></i>, Nintendo attempted to make it stand out from the many other <i><b>DQ</b></i> clones by giving it a 20th century American setting and a storyline involving alien abductions. <i><b>Mother </b></i>was created by the Japanese writer/media personalty Shigesato Itoi, which gave the game a bit more prestige in the public's eye. The crazy thing about Itoi was that he became famous as a <i>copy writer</i>. That is, a guy who writes the text for advertisements. The idea of a famous copy writer sounds pretty absurd to us here in the West, but somehow in Japan it was a real possibility. Hardcore Gaming 101 did a <a href="http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/mother/mother.htm">pretty good look</a> at Itoi recently. It's essential reading if you want understand who this guy is and why his involvement with Nintendo was a big deal.<br />
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<b><i>Strider</i></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ21UwNoiHunSvvxD-Hwh-Iak6tNQa8oUgHyyr3lyOux7Xb66cfJVUOHGUGbzCB-eDNg_R0CrToa0Vi-ttSknBdVfhcQvB7i_HxcypLIFjEr_dNagDtuldlw8zTGAtkMWrphkjL9S0Rek/s1600/stridersnap.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ21UwNoiHunSvvxD-Hwh-Iak6tNQa8oUgHyyr3lyOux7Xb66cfJVUOHGUGbzCB-eDNg_R0CrToa0Vi-ttSknBdVfhcQvB7i_HxcypLIFjEr_dNagDtuldlw8zTGAtkMWrphkjL9S0Rek/s1600/stridersnap.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Just like <i><b>Bionic Commando</b></i>, Capcom created two separate games called <i><b>Strider</b></i>: one for the arcade and one for the NES. The arcade <i><b>Strider </b></i>is non-stop action, while the home version focuses more on story and exploration. Unlike <i><b>Bionic Commando</b></i>, the NES Strider is clearly inferior to the arcade version. It's mostly a well made game, but lacks that little bit of magic that made the console <i><b>Bionic Commando</b></i> so great.<br />
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<i><b>Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Grafitti</b></i><br />
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A bit of an oddity, <i><b>SWG </b></i>is one of those "parody" games, in which a serious game is given a goofy, super-deformed makeover. But this isn't a quickie knockoff of the original <i><b>Splatterhouse</b></i>; it's a completely new action platformer which borrows a number of elements from the original, but still manages to feel very different than the arcade game.<br />
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Also:<br />
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<i><b>Cobra Triangle</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzD0HpxEMU9LK-2H0EDYl6cMRNAxtoiVPVDOrnlQRY1Z1J4tssvRt7hfekv_SAZ8kHkQo68rOTwtPZRoejFFkRpC7uzaMm4mq6TRqGfEl6Oqst6_BISZR5TOkkRqr-s0x36Bu1dgEF-s/s1600/cobra.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzD0HpxEMU9LK-2H0EDYl6cMRNAxtoiVPVDOrnlQRY1Z1J4tssvRt7hfekv_SAZ8kHkQo68rOTwtPZRoejFFkRpC7uzaMm4mq6TRqGfEl6Oqst6_BISZR5TOkkRqr-s0x36Bu1dgEF-s/s1600/cobra.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Yet another NOA game developed by Rare. Once again we are treated to Rare's beloved isometric perspective. Also, the title seems to be two random words thrown together, in the classic Rare tradition.<br />
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<i><b>Cosmic Wars</b></i><br />
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A rather obtuse military strategy game in the <i><b>Famicom Wars</b></i>/<i><b>Military Madness</b></i> tradition. <i><b>Cosmic Wars </b></i>is mostly remembered for being a <i><b>Gradius </b></i>spinoff, though it seems pretty well constructed.<br />
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<i><b>Takeda Shingen 2</b></i>/<i><b>Shingen the Ruler</b></i><br />
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The second game in Hot-B's short lived series of <i><b>Nobunaga's Ambition</b></i> knock-offs. In fact, this is the last game in the series. Unlike the first one, <b><i>Takeda Shingen 2 </i></b>received a US release. You might recall something very similar happened with the <i><b>Black Bass</b></i> series.<br />
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<i><b>Moeru! Oniisan</b></i>/<i><b>Circus Caper</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9rQAl8Au1U3odqJ4x0e0fwJxa3AN1Zn1yiUGb89hioQ9mc3Bk0xfCyTZoHv0vlkx6g0zEnyz5iRMzicKZRtqcpR6pEcF1zgjT-yypCwPorBBQyLzS_ESMz0YMWCJdn2zxlGf_i_GNbGo/s1600/cc.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9rQAl8Au1U3odqJ4x0e0fwJxa3AN1Zn1yiUGb89hioQ9mc3Bk0xfCyTZoHv0vlkx6g0zEnyz5iRMzicKZRtqcpR6pEcF1zgjT-yypCwPorBBQyLzS_ESMz0YMWCJdn2zxlGf_i_GNbGo/s1600/cc.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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The weirdest game this episode, in terms of its release history. <i><b>Moeru! Oniisan</b></i> was an awful looking platformer based on an anime series. For reasons unknown, publisher Toho decided to have the game completely reworked and released in the US as <i><b>Circus Caper</b></i>. The extent to which <i>everything</i> in the game has been altered is surprising. Yet the resulting product is so unappealing and terrible, I don't understand why they bothered.<br />
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<i><b>Captain Ed</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhiFSTM_GXGJ2Hwhjd7YfJgeeEKn_Et_b-UH5vaRnyu0taAHKkbk6gYre7LJqIL09hjiCmpHe9MidXZBh5LeV0utAkRTB_ByrsEp7vBE3DoEtNjEHzDwDT-_17nhgN6w1__Ip4-6n6uUM/s1600/capted.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhiFSTM_GXGJ2Hwhjd7YfJgeeEKn_Et_b-UH5vaRnyu0taAHKkbk6gYre7LJqIL09hjiCmpHe9MidXZBh5LeV0utAkRTB_ByrsEp7vBE3DoEtNjEHzDwDT-_17nhgN6w1__Ip4-6n6uUM/s1600/capted.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Another extremely strange game, <i><b>Captain Ed </b></i>is one of the least visually interesting shoot-em-ups I've seen in a while. The mechanics are also quite strange, as the background poses a greater threat to you than the actual enemies do. Even odder, all these bizarre mini games are thrown in, which have nothing to do with the shoot-em-up sections.<br />
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<i><b>Thundercade</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklC8SooClIM6-UdlpTqdGl8UL7Gdn5LluWJeJfvSxfcvomfum82SIYvRN8j9QWUAfbrbx0CdWhHIwl9mJyGDWeeXIo5fq2vKC2Lnwuo7DQ5ovomR4uVbQp1nvmaDOJObMy9lpmhgOwzs/s1600/thunder.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklC8SooClIM6-UdlpTqdGl8UL7Gdn5LluWJeJfvSxfcvomfum82SIYvRN8j9QWUAfbrbx0CdWhHIwl9mJyGDWeeXIo5fq2vKC2Lnwuo7DQ5ovomR4uVbQp1nvmaDOJObMy9lpmhgOwzs/s1600/thunder.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Classic kusoge-style port of a Taito arcade game, courtesy of our good buddies at Micronics.<br />
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<i><b>Kyuukyoku Tiger</b></i>/<i><b>Twin Cobra</b></i><br />
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Exact same thing as above, only the game is not as bad. We already saw a better port of this game in <a href="http://chrontendo.blogspot.com/2012/07/1989-year-of-tigers.html">Chronturbo 3</a>.<br />
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<i><b>Defender of the Crown</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiXNrVdOpIuXJMjHwfmenWbrO5Qn7LJkUt4wb_1O5pqLdrSHM1E67PO2s4QKZhlCuncbVOU2IrRoQsgriBkTKmAiG3-5sSfw2Jb7cr8XxJLrQ0HKKzEKVyCQv67HYazD16dI3r8hVNZA/s1600/defender.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiXNrVdOpIuXJMjHwfmenWbrO5Qn7LJkUt4wb_1O5pqLdrSHM1E67PO2s4QKZhlCuncbVOU2IrRoQsgriBkTKmAiG3-5sSfw2Jb7cr8XxJLrQ0HKKzEKVyCQv67HYazD16dI3r8hVNZA/s1600/defender.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Published on Konami's second label Ultra Games, this is a port of the 1985 Amiga hit. It sort of reminds me of a landlocked dumbed down version of <i><b>Sid Meier's Pirates</b></i>.<br />
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<i><b>Magma Project - Hacker</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xwgiBD4mFBqo3yh7lsgIFbxUwmOVZvUKyFeHkLBrY4B_c7zVjGiZREr6VEyZFW65aNnUffn9zi6IdLcyBKWGkwvUCEKSBn-gkIy3kRip21mJ59syN0AlA-z-6qfp8bmxgWNbMJjRJus/s1600/hacker.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xwgiBD4mFBqo3yh7lsgIFbxUwmOVZvUKyFeHkLBrY4B_c7zVjGiZREr6VEyZFW65aNnUffn9zi6IdLcyBKWGkwvUCEKSBn-gkIy3kRip21mJ59syN0AlA-z-6qfp8bmxgWNbMJjRJus/s1600/hacker.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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Rather improbably, this is a port of <i><b>Hacker</b></i>, the old Activision C64 game, reconfigured into the form of an RPG. The lone FDS game this episode.<br />
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<i><b>Melville's Flame</b></i><br />
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An unpleasant looking RPG/Strategy game hybrid that resembles Square's <i><b>Hanjuku Hero</b></i> (<a href="http://chrontendo.blogspot.com/2011/05/episode-38-has-arrived.html">covered in Episode 38</a>.<br />
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<i><b>Famista '89: Kaimaku Han!!</b></i><br />
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Namco's <i><b>Family Stadium</b></i> series has now officially been rebranded as <i><b>Famista</b></i>.<br />
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<i><b>Meimon! Daisan Yakyuubu</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyTa8o8-2CfuN9uQ3QE0j2IM55kYWgktSSPQWKkm2-mo56rAPCXgd5m8ddRUE9ufxrAi1qM_Lw3dDP-lA4oWBy2RFZJ-g5i-nJjfFScpoIolq-Bfu6wUQF8dkMMfey94tNIXzV5WFBL6k/s1600/meimon5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyTa8o8-2CfuN9uQ3QE0j2IM55kYWgktSSPQWKkm2-mo56rAPCXgd5m8ddRUE9ufxrAi1qM_Lw3dDP-lA4oWBy2RFZJ-g5i-nJjfFScpoIolq-Bfu6wUQF8dkMMfey94tNIXzV5WFBL6k/s1600/meimon5.png" height="300" width="320" /></a></div>
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A nicer looking anime tie-in baseball game from Bandai, developed by Human. <br />
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There we go. Another 15 games. Next time, we finish up August and move into September 1989.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-34643065628750905092014-02-26T23:20:00.004-08:002014-02-26T23:20:39.435-08:00Chrontendo UpdateA super brief Chrontendo <a href="http://youtu.be/AP9REbDFuDk">announcement up on Youtubes</a>.Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-85947461861466674992014-01-12T16:42:00.002-08:002014-01-12T16:42:29.994-08:00More F.E.A.R.A couple posts ago, I broke my strict retrogaming format and wrote up an almost-sorta-modern game, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>, a strange hybrid of FPS & horror game. Since I was sort of on a <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> roll, I decided to give the two lesser-known sequels a shot. Today then, we'll take a very quick look at <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin</b></i> and<i><b> F.E.A.R. 3</b></i> (no subtitle.)<br />
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<i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> was released at the tail-end of the PS2/Xbox generation, in 2005. It retained the older, <i><b>Half Life</b></i> style of FPS gameplay, that of walking into rooms, shooting shit up, grabbing ammo, and guzzling health packs. <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i> was released in 2009, in an entirely different era of gaming. Its contemporaries were <i><b>COD: Modern Warfare 2</b></i>, <i><b>Assassin's Creed II</b></i> and <i><b>Infamous</b></i>, yet <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> <i><b>2</b></i> still retains its predecessor's formula, albeit with a significant graphical update.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOHxwxAY9zsbKyeh_QOiz1k67ziG_S0FFkArINjiQB2bCboqd998GrbeTFhGm5pOMfCEp-8wCNQoSrpbrpP1q4pb4e-bZxX21WPUgSYrdLsrd6QSafBsHwrsyeV7ZEneS71dc7_R7nDaU/s1600/FEAR2_.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOHxwxAY9zsbKyeh_QOiz1k67ziG_S0FFkArINjiQB2bCboqd998GrbeTFhGm5pOMfCEp-8wCNQoSrpbrpP1q4pb4e-bZxX21WPUgSYrdLsrd6QSafBsHwrsyeV7ZEneS71dc7_R7nDaU/s1600/FEAR2_.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i> has truly entered the era of Next-gen graphics.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The first <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> game ended with <strike>the scary girl from Ring</strike> Alma Wade dropping some kind of Akira-style psychic nuke on the town of Fairport, then presumably killing the protagonist and the few remaining supporting characters. No surprise then, that <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> <i><b>2</b></i> introduces a brand new protagonist, a standard issue FPS military dude named Sgt. Becket. The game's opening act takes place <i>during </i>the events of the first <i><b>F.E.A.R. </b></i>game, as Becket and his squad break into the luxury penthouse of the CEO of Armacham Technology. If you recall your <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>lore<i><b>,</b></i> you'll know Armacham was the evil corporation behind the whole supersoldier/Alma fiasco. At the level's end, you see Alma nuking the city, and you get knocked unconscious and squirreled away to some hospital with a city-sized top secret research facility in the basement.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlkl-AnhpInvbgLPHkwLZ-gc1ng480heK6l53J2AXBkfKfY4PTh9xkRc3M54AUHxBAo1BnBJbLDtfgV03NiDY1W6k1UF-lKPX8s87SH6RnATFhuA_jBME93NWZjjnki9FmZMXZ_COqW8/s1600/FEAR2_2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlkl-AnhpInvbgLPHkwLZ-gc1ng480heK6l53J2AXBkfKfY4PTh9xkRc3M54AUHxBAo1BnBJbLDtfgV03NiDY1W6k1UF-lKPX8s87SH6RnATFhuA_jBME93NWZjjnki9FmZMXZ_COqW8/s1600/FEAR2_2.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You encounter evidence of all kinds of weird experiments in <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i></td></tr>
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Now, I don't pretend to understand the plot of the <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>games, but this time it somehow involves Alma returning and harassing you with spooky hallucinations and flashbacks. Also, the Replica soldiers return, though I have no idea who is controlling them. And, in a shocking plot twist, it turns out Sgt Becket is <i>also </i>the subject of an illicit supersoldier project. In <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>you traveled from location to location via helicopter, but in the sequel your ride has been downgraded to a humble armored transport vehicle. Locations seen the the game include the destroyed remains of Fairport, an elementary school which has <i>yet another</i> secret research laboratory in the basement, and best of all, a nuclear power plant which houses (once again) a secret research laboratory.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYV_5ol0tj-zN9SRn2w1rDf-IJ1pwoYWAOeqJKIcR22sqJl11_q1KuImChz130wQUcxDgmjVaXc2nL08sJcfwPWfsNqjuZafbgNLwwf6QREsvQEp_n5Xlx32vbLE9HpAKO1LuoSw5kCNI/s1600/FEAR2_4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYV_5ol0tj-zN9SRn2w1rDf-IJ1pwoYWAOeqJKIcR22sqJl11_q1KuImChz130wQUcxDgmjVaXc2nL08sJcfwPWfsNqjuZafbgNLwwf6QREsvQEp_n5Xlx32vbLE9HpAKO1LuoSw5kCNI/s1600/FEAR2_4.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Horrible products of human experiements gone wrong fill <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i>.</td></tr>
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Gameplay wise, <i><b>F.E.A.R 2 </b></i>is almost exactly the same as the prior game. Use guns, grenades, and slow-mo to take out groups of enemy soldiers, who shout things like "He took out the whole squad!" on their intercoms. Between firefights, expect to see freaky hallucinations, specters appearing/disappearing, lights getting dim, and so on, as Alma tries to fuck with you. You actually get a few "hands on" encounters with Alma, as she runs and claws at you, and you need to frantically tap the mouse button to beat her back. These QTE events are one of a few new gameplay features in <i><b>F.E.A.R 2. </b></i>There is also one cool scene set on a moving train.<i><b> </b></i>And best of all, you play one section from inside a heavily armed mechsuit, which is capable of raining massive destruction down upon enemy forces. Other that that, expect to do a lot of climbing ladders and hitting switches.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUzNwXd_VQ9xrQwdWRcwGupGBdgz7pNi7jAnei3n-8x9Q2qdUdV5-sJeO115KwVdWkldk2grK0A-2oZ98gMwVEFyQsHwA-EU6t94RsWPZt8-ZkAkrzpeiLpdScMGNorPr2bj6oFsGbI8U/s1600/FEAR2_5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUzNwXd_VQ9xrQwdWRcwGupGBdgz7pNi7jAnei3n-8x9Q2qdUdV5-sJeO115KwVdWkldk2grK0A-2oZ98gMwVEFyQsHwA-EU6t94RsWPZt8-ZkAkrzpeiLpdScMGNorPr2bj6oFsGbI8U/s1600/FEAR2_5.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Among the coolest parts is operating a powerful mech-suit.</td></tr>
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The one area that distinguishes <i><b>F.E.A.R 2 </b></i>from the original is its visuals. Aside from the obvious improvements in PC graphics in the intervening four years, the developers have put a lot more eye candy into this game. The storage rooms, service tunnels, and courtyards of <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>have been replaced with much richer environments. The elementary school, for example, is crammed with books, posters, children's drawings, overturned desks, etc. The streets of the destroyed town of Fairport are suitably grim, with crashed airliners, piles of rubble and its residents turned into silent ash statues. There's much better use of large scale environments, particularly when you must make your way down the edge of the massive crater where Alma set off her A-bomb, or when you encounter the imposing cooling tanks of the abandoned nuclear facility.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Ayt5W5K4SuveWL2vjRqQt2KgZitllE5ETd8l2Y8O1uJNQfNiBHXw8XUVeDkowZZCvqWgArWOrA9XzHJ8bG_zTmQgEs7KWAZ774E0lYgVIpovrWmhkRgcXlRshMMXkmyAesrLgfEOAMQ/s1600/FEAR2_3.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3Ayt5W5K4SuveWL2vjRqQt2KgZitllE5ETd8l2Y8O1uJNQfNiBHXw8XUVeDkowZZCvqWgArWOrA9XzHJ8bG_zTmQgEs7KWAZ774E0lYgVIpovrWmhkRgcXlRshMMXkmyAesrLgfEOAMQ/s1600/FEAR2_3.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i> contains a good amount of striking visuals.</td></tr>
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<i><b>F.E.A.R 2</b></i> is also a bit gorier and grimmer than the first game. Aside from blood and guts spilling more liberally, the theme of human experimentation, in particular experimentation on school children, is pretty disturbing. While not as original as its predecessor, it's probably the most enjoyable of the <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>games to play in 2014. However, what would a <i><b>F.E.A.R </b></i>game without a totally WTF ending? Like the first <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>, the game feels likes it's setting you up for a final boss fight against Alma. I should point out Alma appears in the second game in adult form and struts around nude most of the time. The game's climax (heh) finds you running around in dream world while engaging in QTE battles with a former team mate. However, the little cutscenes makes it clear that while this is going on, Alma is... how shall I put this? ...<b>riding you like a wild pony</b>. Yep, you basically get raped by Alma in <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2.</b></i> The battle ends abruptly and the final image is the visibly pregnant Alma grasping your wrist and forcing your hand to touch her stomach. UGO even put in on one of their click-baity lists, <a href="http://www.ugo.com/games/the-11-weirdest-game-endings">this one</a> about weird game endings. (<i><b>Monster Party </b></i>also made the list.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfps8Xr4pcMu-RMjHIqiPqjNR3XvrMYAZjPvZBmHdQ_-JLgihw22fpO4_ZZ8jtrPQ5VRyKM4sL2RJBcibrvhUlP8PKjpLgTW6KdW_ZLPwm5nyaV93B0NjB4B3I2uLgWVlokThVRhmAN3Q/s1600/FEAR2_6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfps8Xr4pcMu-RMjHIqiPqjNR3XvrMYAZjPvZBmHdQ_-JLgihw22fpO4_ZZ8jtrPQ5VRyKM4sL2RJBcibrvhUlP8PKjpLgTW6KdW_ZLPwm5nyaV93B0NjB4B3I2uLgWVlokThVRhmAN3Q/s1600/FEAR2_6.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alma mostly appears in her adult, butt naked form.</td></tr>
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Someone must have liked <i><b>F.E.A.R 2</b></i> because two years later a sequel was produced, not by original developers Monolith, but by a smaller company called Day 1 Studios. Previously, Day 1 had worked on the console ports of <i><b>F.E.A.R</b></i>, and had also produced a little loved FPS called <i><b>Fracture </b></i>in 2008. Perhaps as a result of the development changing hands, <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>(or <i><b>F.3.A.R.</b></i>, as the title screen actually says) changes up the formula quite a bit. It also rewrites the story a bit, bringing back several characters from the first game, despite that fact that every single person in that game died. Yes, the "Point Man" is back, having somehow shaken off Alma's mid-air attack at the the end of <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> He's been captured by Aramacham and is being kept in a South American prison. I don't recall the game giving you any good explanation for this. I'm also not sure why Armacham has a prison in South America. <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>begins with a cutscene of Paxton Fetel coming back to "life" in ghost form, complete with the Deadman-like ability to possess living people. He's on pretty good terms with the Point Man, despite having been killed by him, and even helps him bust out of jail. Fetel acts as the narrator/tutorial dude/travel guide guy throughout the game, frequently materializing and giving you some advice. As for the Point Man, he's gone from a faceless pair of gun-wielding hands to an angry looking, bearded guy who appears in the between level cutscenes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpDDR5rDC-m_vClYa5zSAQDiEKKf4j7mSxgD9bNG-U4WKcCgCGf68Wa16nr6cDjNK5AIojNGXmrVl34isOI2WkiWuGdvT50udOST99d-b-fIZKBCPPuohppclGvSmPkvHG_NJz7k0DHCo/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpDDR5rDC-m_vClYa5zSAQDiEKKf4j7mSxgD9bNG-U4WKcCgCGf68Wa16nr6cDjNK5AIojNGXmrVl34isOI2WkiWuGdvT50udOST99d-b-fIZKBCPPuohppclGvSmPkvHG_NJz7k0DHCo/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is you, in all your cutscene bad-assery.</td></tr>
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F.E.A.R. 3 goes out of the way to give your nameless character a bit of backstory, including between level flashbacks depicting the childhood of Fetel and Point Man while being raised as super soldiers. You get your first glimpse of how much different <i><b>F.E.A.R 3</b></i> is going to be from its predecessors quite early in the game. <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>is very much informed by newer FPS games, and features a slower style of gameplay involving heavy use of cover. Instead of running into a room and mowing down enemies in slow motion, you'll find yourself crouching behind crates, waiting for enemies to poke their heads up for a second so you can fire a round or two into their skull.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_1oGqVXDVfFOA6L3D8dmy1zdiRt3lhiZUL6sJuxbhXvW8J21JLhjhkV6bwMExYKz3u3u12wP_XQTFzXqGCFOMfGCnn5m-dcXzAchMjclBQ_CM6VkpTCpQiUzVIhkq7ay8tPmKuXEPHbs/s1600/F.E.A.R.3+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_1oGqVXDVfFOA6L3D8dmy1zdiRt3lhiZUL6sJuxbhXvW8J21JLhjhkV6bwMExYKz3u3u12wP_XQTFzXqGCFOMfGCnn5m-dcXzAchMjclBQ_CM6VkpTCpQiUzVIhkq7ay8tPmKuXEPHbs/s1600/F.E.A.R.3+2.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Many, many boxes and crates to hide behind.</td></tr>
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Add in a regenerating health system and you've got much longer, more deliberately paced firefights. The slow mo also feels sort of gimped; either you move slower while it's turned on, or it runs out sooner. I'm not sure which. The result is that you spend a good deal of time slinking around behind boxes, since stepping out into the open will get you sliced into tiny pieces by a hail of bullets.<br />
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On top of this, <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>tosses a an achievement system that has popups appearing every 2 minutes congratulating you on using cover for 60 seconds or killing two enemies using slow motion. This ties into an RPG style experience meter, which grants you longer slow mo meters, the ability to hold more ammo, and so on, as you "level up." This is done by finding certain glowing corpses, which you can "psychic link" to. I'm not sure what exactly the "psychic link" is, but it makes the corpse disappear and grants you experience points. I actually think <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3</b></i> handles this better than the earlier games, in which you increase your health/slo mo bars by snooping around in out of the way corners, looking for glowing syringes. Another interesting feature is the ability to replay a level as Fetel, who uses psychic powers instead of weapons.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriJG0emCBnqC-iQV5JOPDWdsnaVanH8vjHqyncan5VvltYZ3alZYydwmMrTpld1qJeaUwbK3UBYW1fC8J6ZvC3O4F_pGMrlee_N2hMiC9H9M1voP2Acw10CM51Nt51ujD6K9qlFdUaOk/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhriJG0emCBnqC-iQV5JOPDWdsnaVanH8vjHqyncan5VvltYZ3alZYydwmMrTpld1qJeaUwbK3UBYW1fC8J6ZvC3O4F_pGMrlee_N2hMiC9H9M1voP2Acw10CM51Nt51ujD6K9qlFdUaOk/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+3.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">F.E.A.R 3, the RPG?</td></tr>
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At times, <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>is barely recognizable as a horror-themed game at all. After you escape the dreary prison level, you end up fighting Armacham soldiers in the sun-drenched streets of an unnamed Latin American town. This level would not look out of place in a <i><b>COD</b></i> game. After hijacking a helicopter and flying it back the US (what kind of range do helicopters have, anyway?) you soon end up duking it out with more soldiers in a typical middle-class suburban neighborhood. In the first half of the game, the <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> secret laboratories and and dark service tunnels are entirely missing. Alma, and some other scary ghost/monster thing, turns up from time to time, but the horror content has been dialed down a bit.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeadJD-_K4M8b6vfppEMhdTmwQQ7uRg8g32iBo85jHW6IYX9dkopxI5KChypDSnjkjVv33qj0gfmy5BeY87YcANdcC-wXEGCD5CyUV5pPIUyWgwUI7CetkW-o1xFdduQBFiDv3kOPtPqA/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeadJD-_K4M8b6vfppEMhdTmwQQ7uRg8g32iBo85jHW6IYX9dkopxI5KChypDSnjkjVv33qj0gfmy5BeY87YcANdcC-wXEGCD5CyUV5pPIUyWgwUI7CetkW-o1xFdduQBFiDv3kOPtPqA/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+4.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It is, however, extremely gory. Disgustingly so.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Despite this, there is plenty of creepy stuff in <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3</b></i>, much of which is based around apocalyptic anxiety. The freakiest level in the game's first half takes place in a ruined Costco, which has been taken over by zombie-like gangster/skatepunk cultists. Some pretty creepy stuff pops up in this level: banks of flickering wide-screen TVs, weird shrines everywhere, human carcasses hung on meat hooks in the freezer. The quasi-undead cultists continue to come after you even once you've blown off limbs, and eventually start strapping dynamite to their chests and bum rushing you. These guys appear without any explanation, but eventually Fetel theorizes their brains were "burnt out" by the Alma induced nuke. The influence of <i><b>28 Days Later</b></i> and similar apocalyptic narratives can be heavily felt in these levels. The net result of all this is a game that feels less like earlier <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> games and more like.... well, a lot of stuff that isn't <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3S_2x0s3LkmNXJ2R2IZQpAwM57zYfaoYEewgoSa3rl0rS_ROGnjjT3KkAQotqirH_pEFzdF_6UsUV7HWpQEBYiUGOxoTGwVgeN0a_A31cdlgSHSTIpFNsQQ7ONSQvvf4WfZZFgVe9hq4/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3S_2x0s3LkmNXJ2R2IZQpAwM57zYfaoYEewgoSa3rl0rS_ROGnjjT3KkAQotqirH_pEFzdF_6UsUV7HWpQEBYiUGOxoTGwVgeN0a_A31cdlgSHSTIpFNsQQ7ONSQvvf4WfZZFgVe9hq4/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+5.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The destroyed Costco is one of the better levels.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I'm not saying <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>is a bad game. It's a reasonably decent FPS with a bit of spooky stuff in it. I wish it fit in better with the previous games. I wish the it made even the tiniest bit of sense. (A US city is destroyed by a huge explosion, has subsequently fallen into mass anarchy, and <i>weeks </i>later a private corporation's security forces are going around killing survivors? Why hasn't every available US Army/National Guard been deployed to the area? Has the US government somehow collapsed?) It also just seems wrong the way the game makes Alma & Fetel into good guys, more or less. Alma actually appears and rescues you from Armacham forces early in the game. Apparently Alma's end-of-<i><b>F.E.A.R. 2 </b></i>pregnancy figures into the game at some point as well.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiOKDt1rVRrPajhMJESb2kVVlk6_kxqfXerKGoKzRZ3CZXvFCFh0eawAJ-3qpbBN0Lx8pfe8Pk7tsLqCw3PXdO4rhfqMqopaO0PMhN2r66Da6KkhADYe0KfxZvupgax3NCLaG8WXqk51c/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiOKDt1rVRrPajhMJESb2kVVlk6_kxqfXerKGoKzRZ3CZXvFCFh0eawAJ-3qpbBN0Lx8pfe8Pk7tsLqCw3PXdO4rhfqMqopaO0PMhN2r66Da6KkhADYe0KfxZvupgax3NCLaG8WXqk51c/s1600/F.E.A.R.+3+6.png" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trashed suburban homes represent anxiety over the death of the middle class.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Bottom line: I initially decided to to plow all the way through <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3 </b></i>just so I could say that I finished it. However, around halfway through, after almost completing a lengthy level, the game lost my save file and made me restart the entire level. Yep, <i><b>F.E.A.R. 3</b></i>, just like <i><b>F.E.A.R. 2</b></i> does not allow you to manually save your game, but instead using a single slot autosave feature. I'm not sure what happened, but I wasn't willing to replay that entire area, and I just called it quits. No big loss, I guess.<br />
<br />
<i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>: I give this a solid B<br />
<i><b><i><b>F.E.A.R. 2: </b></i></b></i>B+<br />
<i><b><i><b><i><b>F.E.A.R. 3</b></i> </b></i></b></i>: C+<br />
<i><b> </b></i><br />
<br />
There you have it, the <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> series in a nutshell, minus the expansion packs. Now you don't have to play them yourself!<br />
<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-374337442433705932013-12-15T15:30:00.002-08:002013-12-15T15:37:15.376-08:00The Odd Case of Content IDBy now many of you will have heard of Google unleashing a metric shit ton of Content ID notices for Youtube content, specifically videogame related content. What has happened is that the larger Youtube affiliates and the Multi Channel Networks -- the big guys - are suddenly being scanned for potential matches. As a result, many, many gaming-related channels are suddenly being hit with dozens, hundreds or even thousands of Content ID match warnings. For commercial channels, this can mean loss of revenue, ads being placed in videos, etc. As you can imagine, Youtubers are freaking <i><b>the fuck out</b></i> over this.<br />
<br />
Chrontendo is not a monetized channel, so this particular change doesn't affect me. It is quite obvious that Youtube is gearing up to make some changes in the way it deals with monetized content. However, there are some rather bizarre things about these Content ID notices. First of all, the notices are being issued overwhelmingly to gaming channels. Also, a number of videogame companies, Capcom, Valve, Naughty Dog, and others are making statements saying they are <b>not</b> behind the notices.<br />
<br />
What seems to be driving the notices is not the game content specifically, but instead, the music. A lot of reports are coming in from a digital music distribution company called Idol. Several little known music companies seem to be popping up in the content claims, and some of these claims are pretty unusual. Take for example this video, from the Youtube user, Gopher, who gives examples of the claims he's been receiving.<br />
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<object height="315" width="560"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/oBGbIG8tXIo?hl=en_US&&start=338;version=3"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param>
<embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/oBGbIG8tXIo?hl=en_US&&start=338;version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br />
<br />
One of the claims is about the Billie Holiday song "Crazy He Calls Me." The message states that the recording is administered by one "Pirames International SRL." This is some sort of music company based in Milan. Their <a href="http://www.piramesinternational.com/">website</a> is pretty barren. Their LinkedIn profile claims "1-10 employees," and they have a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/pirames">Youtube channel</a> which focuses mostly on Italian artists, though I see Marilyn Manson and Amanda Palmer listed as well. It seems odd that Marilyn Manson's new album would be handled by this tiny little company in Italy, but the US it was released though an indie label, Cooking Vinyl, so its entirely possible Pirames is Manson's Italian distributor. But what about the Billie Holliday song? "Crazy He Calls Me" was recorded for Decca, and I'm pretty sure those recordings are currently owned by Universal. Since Universal is a huge, multinational music company that controls a sizable portion of all the music in the world, it is pretty unlikely that these Pirames guys ended up with the rights to that song. The other song, by Eddy Christiani is listened as being from APM Music, a large licensing company. Presumably they are the ones who licensed the song to Bethesda for use in the game, so this one makes a bit more sense. Though Eddy Christiani, a Dutch musician, recorded that song in 1948, meaning it would have been in the public domain in Europe when Gopher made that video. (I think Gopher is based in Europe. Not sure how international copyright law would factor in, since Youtube is based in the US.)<br />
<br />
The pattern seems to be content being flagged not by the owners of the music, or the game publishers, but the music licensing companies. What strikes as strange is the utter triviality of these content claims. How much value does a few moments of background music in a Let's Play video have? Very little. Yet much more valuable properties are flagrantly being posted on Youtube without the rights-holders' permission. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn1mLN69ZfmDhr5P25EUiu-0oScQhbaUcAEAwIgzDIxJ0YvFL6Menoux4Ttck3sVJnZ7ybDq_1RXlL6EYZxZhYBA9D4wlL5Fq6k99h1QVGVYpswpbWWgRPBBDcwrBj3KKLgV4PBZvUgvw/s1600/screenshot.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="401" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn1mLN69ZfmDhr5P25EUiu-0oScQhbaUcAEAwIgzDIxJ0YvFL6Menoux4Ttck3sVJnZ7ybDq_1RXlL6EYZxZhYBA9D4wlL5Fq6k99h1QVGVYpswpbWWgRPBBDcwrBj3KKLgV4PBZvUgvw/s640/screenshot.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unless the artist is Prince, this sort of thing is common on YT.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
What's my connection to all this? Well, I received a Content ID notice for the <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> video I uploaded in my last post. The supposed rights holder was, again, some obscure music company. The artist/song in question pulled up absolutely zero matches in a Google search. The company's website didn't give much info on what sort of musical services it offered. But the crazy thing was this: the part of the video in question did not really contain any music. The only sounds were in-game footstep sound effects. There was also some kind of barely audible ambient background drone that may have been considered as music.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uj9TK2QdVVY" width="420"></iframe> <br />
<br />
For those who are hit with a Content ID match, Youtube has an option to remove the offending music. I did this, and I far as I can tell, the only thing it did was remove around 1 second of that background drone. If you watch the updated video now, it's not even noticeable. It's after the part where I jump out the window, right the before big explosion starts, right at about 14 seconds in. Listening to the original video, I'm not even sure anything was removed, as the background noise can't be heard as clearly in the YT video as it can be in the original video capture.<br />
<br />
Incidentally, I had received an earlier content match with Chronturbo 4, during the Blazing Lazers segment. This was completely legit, as it flagged the footage from the Gunhed movie. In that case I disputed it as fair use, and the flag was removed.<br />
<br />
Obviously the recent round of Content ID matches is causing a number of uploaders to sweat bullets. As for myself, I'm pretty baffled that as someone who's video consist mainly of copyrighted images and sounds, the one troublesome match I've received was on 2 seconds of background sound effects.<br />
<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9186345736950611814.post-58874123825151920282013-12-03T18:39:00.001-08:002013-12-03T18:39:32.938-08:00F.E.A.R. Is Not Quite a Man's Best Friend<br />
While we all just sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for the new episode of Chrontendo I thought it best to put some content on this blog. This is, in theory, a videogame based blog, so I figured, what the hell? Maybe I'll write about an actual goddamned videogame.<br />
<br />
The ultimate inspiration behind this post was those online game sales. You know the ones. The Steam sales. The Humble Bundles. Those "here's more games than you have time to play, but for a limited time the price is ridiculously low, so you better buy it just in case" sales. The end result is that I'm a few dollars poorer and have a bunch more unplayed games. But at least <b>these </b>games aren't taking up any physical space. Nope. Even better, they aren't even clogging up my hard drive. They exist only in the realm of the potential. I have a bunch of games I could download and install on my computer if I see fit. At least this way I won't feel as guilty as I do when I see those shrink-wrapped games were piling up in my house. At least my wife will never even know about these games.<br />
<br />
So the other week I spent $25 on a Warner Bros Humble Bundle. The main draw was <i><b>Arkham City</b></i> (which I haven't downloaded yet), but it also came with a <i><b>Mortal Kombat</b></i> pack, some<i><b> Lord of the Rings</b></i> game and.... the three <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> games. I own <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> for the XBox 360 but have never played the two sequels. Truth be told, I barely remember<i><b> F.E.A.R.</b></i> beyond it being a first person shooter which borrowed elements from the movie <i><b>The Ring</b></i> (and J-Horror in general, I guess.) So I thought, "What the hell, I'll give <i><b>F.E.A.R</b></i>. a spin for old time's sake." Then I realized, "My God, this game is almost 10 years old. When Chrontendo started in 2007, <i><b>Final Fantasy VII</b></i> was 10 years old." I suddenly realized that <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> was now a retro game. Since Chrontendo is all about retro gaming, we can talk about <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> Unfortunately, another game reviewer, perhaps also inspired by the Humble Bundle sale, already wrote about F.E.A.R <a href="http://superadventuresingaming.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/fear-pc.html">here.</a> Ray Hardgrit is a more thorough writer than me, so I'm not sure what I can add to his analysis. But I think he might be British, so at least my post does not contain superfluous references to Oasis and Tesco's.<br />
<br />
<i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> was created by Monolith, a developer based in Kirkland, Washington, located not that far from Microsoft's headquarters. Aside from <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>, Monolith is known for the <i><b>Condemned </b></i>games and <i><b>Gotham City: Imposters</b></i> as well as the aforementioned Lord of the Rings title. They seem quite fond of acronyms in their game titles, and other examples include <i><b>Contract J.A.C.K.</b></i> and <i><b>No One Lives Forever: A Spy in H.A.R.M.'s Way</b></i>. <i><b>F.E.A.R. </b></i>was released in October 2005, several months after Valve's pioneering <i><b>Half Life 2</b></i>. But gameplay-wise, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> is mired in the era of the original <i><b>Half Life</b></i>. Unlike the <i><b>HL</b></i> games, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> separates the game into distinct "levels" with loading/debriefing screens breaking up the action. The game world is not a unified whole, as it was in Valve's games. You are normally transported to a new area via a cut scene inside a helicopter; a level often ends when you reach the exit door, and then you are dropped off at the entrance of the next level. Most of in-game action consists of exploring halls, tunnels, air ducts, climbing ladders, etc, punctuated by firefights with machine gun wielding enemy soldiers, who yell things like "Squad!" and "Fire in the Hole!" over their intercoms. So it resembles <i><b>Half Life</b></i> a great deal in that aspect.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLyYVqsulyJzsjq_fhSraoDLKTvapgDk6X3FRCAdljuUo15si5AXgQuuEt0GRWItD6fC-RjHTFutyYrtBuA8cKRJd1t22njf6jmioy-wqDpRw6hq-f8YQIGZRs6_xok7AURiFPzm7r870/s1600/FEAR1.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLyYVqsulyJzsjq_fhSraoDLKTvapgDk6X3FRCAdljuUo15si5AXgQuuEt0GRWItD6fC-RjHTFutyYrtBuA8cKRJd1t22njf6jmioy-wqDpRw6hq-f8YQIGZRs6_xok7AURiFPzm7r870/s400/FEAR1.bmp" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">F.E.A.R.'s exciting environments</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Here's the plot of <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>: an experimental psychic super solider and his clone army go rogue, break into some industrial compound and kill everyone there and then go all Hannibal Lector on a dead guy's face. The question is WHY?? That's where you come in. As an agent of "First Encounter Assault Recon," you, the nameless "Point Man" are tasked with tracking the dude down and asking him what the dealio is. Also, you are supposed to take him into custody or something. Obviously, this is easier said than done and the rest of the game is spent chasing the guy all over town. A spooky ghost girl with long, straight, black hair occasionally shows up and makes the lights flicker on and off while your com device gets all staticky. The nameless protagonist doesn't speak in the game, but he's probably pondering the strange coincidence that this is his first day at his new job with an outfit called F.E.A.R., and he finds himself running around in what resembles a horror movie.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuRkFVYUOCLtooC85mO5Cd37S6XrQ-64LUuGylryDi4ZwGOFlJ8ExJekjVm4uICKxlTOKJn35HacFpDEMbRcOHHlPJTiJleWCHh2XAagwV5u2UZ54DGAP2JlvzoExAc1YdmPES0YIfwU/s1600/FEAR2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuRkFVYUOCLtooC85mO5Cd37S6XrQ-64LUuGylryDi4ZwGOFlJ8ExJekjVm4uICKxlTOKJn35HacFpDEMbRcOHHlPJTiJleWCHh2XAagwV5u2UZ54DGAP2JlvzoExAc1YdmPES0YIfwU/s400/FEAR2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Switch pressin' time! Let's open that gate!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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For most of its length, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> has you running around featureless warehouses, storage rooms, elevator shafts, and various industrial type building. You will encounter many concrete walls and metal shelves which have identical paint cans and plastic containers on them. In the middle of the game you enter an expensive looking office building, and late in the game, a secret science research facility. Aside from shooting people, you will sometimes need to press a button or switch to open a gate or deactivate a security system or something. This all sounds pretty standard, but <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> switches it up by tossing in some horror movie tactics from time to time. Aside from the flickering lights/spooky voices, you'll see things get knocked over for no reason, dead bodies dropping out of air vents unexpectedly, pools of blood, and... these weird hallucination sequences. It soon becomes obvious that you, the Point Man, have some connection to the ghost girl and experimental super solider dude (whom the developers named Paxton Fettel, unfortunately.)<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSbF8teb4DEWOLzjToB43EGOu5c7jqwjprIde7RdVsQAFYqnVkE6pXeJoK68UqH7ts09ddJIgbL7vVvnno11bBD7K3_GaYPMCVln3Lj33nlHbXZTmAzIh_ib1U4FoWN7DvmLe3iR9bCIs/s1600/FEAR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSbF8teb4DEWOLzjToB43EGOu5c7jqwjprIde7RdVsQAFYqnVkE6pXeJoK68UqH7ts09ddJIgbL7vVvnno11bBD7K3_GaYPMCVln3Lj33nlHbXZTmAzIh_ib1U4FoWN7DvmLe3iR9bCIs/s400/FEAR.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mysterious blood leaking everywhere</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Thus <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> attempts to create an odd sort of FPS/Horror hybrid. The idea is intriguing, but the developers never fully integrate these two genre into a cohesive whole. For one, the spooky stuff and the shooty stuff never happen at the same time. The ghosty girl, Alma, only pulls out the scares when you're walking around the empty parts of a level. Likewise, the shooting-guns-at-enemy-soldiers portions never bear any traces of the supernatural. In fact, knowing Alma is about to appear actually lessens the tension of the game, since you know that as long as the lights are flickering, you aren't going to run into armed bad guys around the next corner. The horror sections are the "safe" part of the game.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb5u1AUyfvm4kIIJH99AtCDuJ9rK6rRG2TW9K7i_0YePwkvvdcPJsgJfsRCo0riAD4wW8o3RsmznlEE5zX9Tot5Fk1Q_zP5o9MKTUS-mumqFfWxPkBSkpTUix84AAKA3hYRHatqzPzCls/s1600/FEAR4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb5u1AUyfvm4kIIJH99AtCDuJ9rK6rRG2TW9K7i_0YePwkvvdcPJsgJfsRCo0riAD4wW8o3RsmznlEE5zX9Tot5Fk1Q_zP5o9MKTUS-mumqFfWxPkBSkpTUix84AAKA3hYRHatqzPzCls/s400/FEAR4.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spooky vision/flashbacks of a mysterious hospital room.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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This disconnect carries over into the game's plot. Despite the fact that this ghost chick keeps popping up and killing people in gruesome ways, (and despite that Paxton Fettel is communicating with you using his psychic powers and dropping hints about the connection between you, Alma and him,) as far as the F.E.A.R team is concerned, all they have on their hands is a rogue super solider. At no point does the silent Point Man open his trap and say "By the way, there's this psychic ghost girl running around and Fettel has some kind of connection to her." Meanwhile, your teammates stand around scratching their heads wondering how the Delta Team got turned into a bloody pile of charred skeletons. The result of this weird disconnect is that<i><b> F.E.A.R.</b></i> often feels like you are playing two different games simultaneously.<br />
<br />
Aside from the plot being kind of goofy, the action sequences are repetitive. You encounter identical groups of enemy soldiers over and over again, with an occasional heavily armored, extra-tough dude thrown in. At one point there are a bunch of snipers. An mech resembling ED-209 pops up a couple times. But it often feels like you're fighting the same fight over and over. At least <i><b>Half Life</b></i> had headcrabs, zombies, and aliens to liven things up. Despite all these issues, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> was very well received when it was released. Metacritic currently <a href="http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/fear/critic-reviews">lists it at 88</a>. It was considered to be a top-tier game at the time. Even the <a href="http://www.1up.com/reviews/fear_3">nerdier gaming sites loved it</a>. Why? Well, part of the reason has to do with gamers being graphic whores. You see, PC gaming enthusiasts get very excited when new, more powerful graphics cards come out and want games that push those cards to the limits. This was perhaps even more true in the early 2000s when developers were busy creating all these fancy new graphics and physics engines. Everything was all about ragdoll physics and realistic lighting effects back then. A story that made sense always took a back seat to how innovative the graphics were.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JIdlhkWI7V2ZLhocv2vwleJB9qGPIOqKBjQbYWFojdzghdlm1k1f6G0v3QIHQ58bgcUDWGU-LVoWqHJL4cMbdpiPpDJKIpaokAq8JyJxL7-sfcov7ALmdyVAy99ikSI2W63Xr-A26eQ/s1600/FEAR+5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JIdlhkWI7V2ZLhocv2vwleJB9qGPIOqKBjQbYWFojdzghdlm1k1f6G0v3QIHQ58bgcUDWGU-LVoWqHJL4cMbdpiPpDJKIpaokAq8JyJxL7-sfcov7ALmdyVAy99ikSI2W63Xr-A26eQ/s400/FEAR+5.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lighting effects are quite nice looking</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> earned its reputation as a game requiring top of the line hardware to play. In 2005, this game looked AMAZING. It still looks halfway decent today. It had crazy realtime lighting that casts shadows everywhere. The main gameplay gimmick is a Max Payne "bullet time" style slow-mo effect. The slow-mo is a bit more than a mere piece of window dressing; it's pretty vital to not getting killed. It allows you to turn a corner, activate the slow-mo, then draw a bead on enemies and pop off a few shots before they can react. <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> puts a cool blur effect on everything while this is happening. This allows the impressive-for-the-time particle effects to shine. When guns are fired, you can see individual bullets flying through the air. Showers of sparks. Windows break and pieces of glass fill the air. Dust obscures your vision. Bullets leave persistent holes in walls. All these fancy particle effects were considered a huge deal at the time, but they weren't supposed to be mere graphical frippery. This was about creating an environment. About making the game world more interactive, more solid, and<b> </b><i>real</i>. All these GPU-straining effects were intended to create <i>immersion</i>. The graphic effects, in some sense, were the gameplay.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKf8SKyZamKBnAYC4fqugkdvhTZNcZpIxk0-Qb1J5-i6x8dkstYy3FxaXztWj4eLMYbiapymDDxBWGM_O4LGEc1IW2pSC5-SKeNHonOznzw1Zj0rYiiuNbnFVxhaxZ6JRvHMf457imlbk/s1600/FEAR+6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKf8SKyZamKBnAYC4fqugkdvhTZNcZpIxk0-Qb1J5-i6x8dkstYy3FxaXztWj4eLMYbiapymDDxBWGM_O4LGEc1IW2pSC5-SKeNHonOznzw1Zj0rYiiuNbnFVxhaxZ6JRvHMf457imlbk/s400/FEAR+6.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The blurry slow-mo battles look cool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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It also benefited from having remarkable solid enemy AI for the time. <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> was quite a challenging game. A single, well placed shotgun blast could kill you, so you couldn't just run into a room shooting blindly. Even today, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> is still reasonably fun to play, though it can be a bit tiring.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM2VbYOw7ZnTt_JgVBTl-MWatO-0Doww4Xtz-yFmXowRGa-uSp9AgGifa68jaB6EKmppbEsVDeZaOWOgN9qFw5A8vkTHRaq-sWP9W5hWFhS9NEqHEbwnsEmtXF5CDcHSRinR-aW4yvlW4/s1600/FEAR+7.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM2VbYOw7ZnTt_JgVBTl-MWatO-0Doww4Xtz-yFmXowRGa-uSp9AgGifa68jaB6EKmppbEsVDeZaOWOgN9qFw5A8vkTHRaq-sWP9W5hWFhS9NEqHEbwnsEmtXF5CDcHSRinR-aW4yvlW4/s400/FEAR+7.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dust and debris goes flying everywhere.</td></tr>
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One thing that struck me about the game is the oddly anti-climatic final act. <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> is not very effective about resolving its various plot threads. For much of the second half of the game you are tasked with finding Alice Wade, the daughter of Harlan Wade, one of the creators behind the Origin Project, the top-secret experiment which started the whole mess. About halfway through <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> you are told to rescue Alice and escort to her to safety. She manages to slip away and head off to find her father. From this point on, your official mission is to find and rescue Alice and Harlan, as well as capture Fettel. This eventually takes you to the Project Origin site, an underground facility called The Vault, where Alma is kept in a kind of cryogenic coma. Turns out she has super duper psychic powers and is so dangerous she must be kept on ice. And, yes, this is exactly the plot of <i><b>Akira</b></i>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixrBVSiIzFff5yRbCAVNNixQcyKl0K7h0GVaazpqEtlpmgU8U5WR4VLLtRHvIeJsh2hOVFPFIEd1GTYhEqZjzUUYZBi38Vwn9432BkA2tJTv2flQKaqAiLiolQ-b-EZjBQTzBiMxRD4qI/s1600/FEAR+8.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixrBVSiIzFff5yRbCAVNNixQcyKl0K7h0GVaazpqEtlpmgU8U5WR4VLLtRHvIeJsh2hOVFPFIEd1GTYhEqZjzUUYZBi38Vwn9432BkA2tJTv2flQKaqAiLiolQ-b-EZjBQTzBiMxRD4qI/s400/FEAR+8.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alma, when she does appear, is pretty creepy.</td></tr>
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You encounter stiff resistance as you attempt to enter the Vault; once inside you mostly face more hallucinations and spectral appearances from Alma. Despite having been chasing after Alice Wade for half the game, she's dispatched rather casually: you just happen to walk by her dead body in one room. Harlan Wade gets killed in by Alma as you watch passively from the other side of a window. Paxton Fettel gets shot by you in a hallucination/flashback cutscene thing. Quite frankly, I forgot what happened to Fettel until I read a plot synopsis online while writing this article. It's hard to think of another game of this era that kills off its cast and wraps any loose plot threads in such a dismissive fashion. The last two sections of the game barely contain any enemies, other than these phantoms which rush you and can easily be blown away with a single shot. Compared to the pitched firefights throughout the rest of the game, these enemy encounters are quite lame. If you were expecting a boss fight or some kind of big showdown... well, it just never happens. You leave the vault, wander through an abandoned building, find the exit, which leads an alley outside, and... the game ends. There's a brief cutscene. When the screen then displays "epilogue," it's almost startling. You almost want to jump up and shout "What!? That was it?"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrMmkVquwP_eDeAJHONKWqvpS71Rwo_xCpFxx58Gg6Y12CeFhSL_f9Bx5Sf4qbLWRUoV334egeMkw9Wz4xlOUBJ4_b6_XmyykfM8bugB5toXRBi6bZYdZXFcgLMze_R6HIsA44pM7UY6w/s1600/FEAR+9.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrMmkVquwP_eDeAJHONKWqvpS71Rwo_xCpFxx58Gg6Y12CeFhSL_f9Bx5Sf4qbLWRUoV334egeMkw9Wz4xlOUBJ4_b6_XmyykfM8bugB5toXRBi6bZYdZXFcgLMze_R6HIsA44pM7UY6w/s400/FEAR+9.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Fettel doing something important. I think. I actually can't remember.</td></tr>
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Looking back now, I almost admire the unexpected ending and the sudden jolt at the very end. It's dumb and <span class="illustration">clichéd</span>, but it stands in stark contrast to the drawn out cutscenes we get today. For your pleasure, I've recorded and uploaded it. (Spoiler alert, obviously.)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uj9TK2QdVVY" width="420"></iframe> <br />
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When the rumbling starts and the dust cloud starts rolling down the street, you assume some serious shit is going to happen. An epic boss battle or something. But nope,<i> nada</i>. Sitting through the entire credits will get you a brief voiceover which was intended to set up the sequel. Still, it's a bizarre and action-free final act for an action-packed game. <br />
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I'll admit, one of my favorite parts of <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> is this guy, an obese, junk food munching sysadmin guy. He's the only lighthearted thing in an otherwise entirely grim game. He appears at various points in the game to annoy you (he even tries to kill you at some point) and his appearances are always marked by his rather goofy musical leitmotif forcing its way into the soundtrack. In his review, Ray Hardgrit expresses his dislike for the character and feels he clashes with the rest of <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>'s tone. In my opinion, I like that the developers had some confidence in their ability to modulate <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i>'s mood by inserting a bit of comic relief into their horror game. You need something a bit silly to make the horrible parts seem even more horrible. (Check out that Shakespeare guy for some examples.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY4EqLQ2Y0GoFOpFCt_s-XHtmPkLX7nvvNME_IGFzdHxULlt4vgiDQWbhZ2SHNVS9bz-tFvvJg92o8MqewU3zAHnsnJ_lTaTTdLhYqowmnViE13rOol73OzD9EF0rtGyaZYvLMjBna-08/s1600/FEAR+10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY4EqLQ2Y0GoFOpFCt_s-XHtmPkLX7nvvNME_IGFzdHxULlt4vgiDQWbhZ2SHNVS9bz-tFvvJg92o8MqewU3zAHnsnJ_lTaTTdLhYqowmnViE13rOol73OzD9EF0rtGyaZYvLMjBna-08/s400/FEAR+10.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He eventually gets what's coming to him.</td></tr>
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As an action game, <i><b>F.E.A.R.</b></i> mostly delivers. As a psychological horror game, it kinda delivers, but ultimately fails. You can't experience any kind of emotional attachment to the game's cardboard characters. And the game almost completely falls apart in the final act. It's an impressive achievement in many ways, I just wish it was a little bit better. With a few tweaks, it could have been great.<br />
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<br />Doctor Sparklehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01328442015557051088noreply@blogger.com4