(12/23/2010: Apparently some dudes want to watch this on their iPads or whatever, so I've re-encoded the H.264 version with AAC audio, which is actually the standard for MP4 AVC. Let me know if there are any problems. Also: Merry Christmas and happy holidays!)
Let's get the important news out of the way first. Chrontendo 35 is ready to
download or stream on Archive.org.
Pardon me for engaging in some personal chatter for a moment, but a few posts back Kevin Moon/K8track made a comment about the Ad Hoc
fried chicken recipe. Ad Hoc has become quite famous for their fried chicken nights, and the recipe is supposed to be one of the best. I've finally decided to try making it, despite not really being much into deep frying. The "secret weapon" in the recipe is the elaborate brine the chicken soaks in, which makes the chicken almost
too juicy. Still, it turned out exceptionally delicious. As my wife said while eating it, "I don't want it to end!"
And something else new: a commenter on Youtube suggested I upload Chrontendo episodes in 60 frames per second H.264 format. That's certainly not a bad idea. I'm all one for newer technologies, and H.264 is pretty promising. So, if you want the high quality 60 fps video, just download the H.264 MP4 file instead of the AVI. Thus you will be able to see the fast flickering effects sometimes employed, such as the shadows in
Bayou Billy. And despite being slightly smaller than the AVI file, the quality is just about perfect. I suppose most video players can handle MP4, but if you need one I recommend
VLC.
Previously I had noted the end of Konami's "Exciting" sports series by pointing out it was no huge loss. Well, perhaps I spoke to soon. Konami didn't so much stop making the Exciting sports games as they just changed the name of the series. I noticed that this episode's Konami tennis game bore the title of
Konamic Tennis. Konamic is a rather goofy portmanteau of "Konami" and "dynamic." But other than the name, Konamic Tennis is really no different than any of Konami's previous FDS sports games, and even has an "Exciting Mode" among the game play options. Then it turned out that the Japanese title for
Track and Field II was
Konamic Sports in Seoul, and that of
Blades of Steel was
Konamic Hockey. So the Exciting sports games still live, under a new name.
As you know, every episode we single out one particular game as the best, most interesting, or historically important game. So moving right along, this week's MVP game is...
Nothing.
That's right. Zip. Zilch. Nada. No game really sticks out this episode of being worthy of taking the top prize. It's not that there aren't some decent games this time around. It's just that nothing here really qualifies as a
great game.
We do have some reasonably good games, however, so let's take a look at those.
Mad City/
The Adventures of Bayou Billy
What kind of idiot would go mano-a-diente with a fucking crocodile!?
They can't all be winners, and Konami's first beat-em-up
is a bit of a misstep compared to its last few big action games.
Bayou Billy is one of Konami's least loved 8-bit games. In fact, it's
hated far and
wide, mostly for its "lack of balance," tediousness, and patchwork-like quality.
Bayou Billy's ending. It really exists!
However, the original Japanese game,
Mad City, is fun and breezy by comparison. Enemies go down in 3 or 4 hits, the driving levels are much shorter, and at no point are you required to fight alligators*. For reasons unknown, Konami substantially ramped up the difficulty for the US version of
Mad City. Perhaps it was an effort the lengthen the game and give it more "value." As a result, even the weakest minions in
Bayou Billy now take around ten hits to kill, and the vehicular segments have become grueling endurance tests. In this episode we actually play through a translated version of
Mad City, and even get the see the alternate endings!
Ancient Ys Vanished
Thrilling RPG action.
The beloved Falcom action RPG gets its first console port. Unfortunately, the job was handed to Advance Communication, the same guys who made the
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde game. The results are pretty disappointing, at least to anyone who's played a better version of
Ys, such at the TurboGrafx 16 disc or
Ys Eternal. Since
Ys exists in so many different forms, we include a whirlwind tour of the many different releases of this game.
Konamic Sports in Seoul/
Track and Field II
This console only sequel to
Hyper Olympic/
Track and Field relies on the same button mashing formula as its predecessor. Some of the same events return, some new events are added, and the character sprites are bigger. No surprises here, but a decent amount of fun can still be had.
Super Pinball
Giant robots everywhere. Even in pinball games.
Now
here is a surprise! A nice little pinball game from Coconuts Japan. It's no
Devil's Crush, but it's better than
Moon Ball Magic. With a total of 6 different screens, including 4 "hidden" ones, and various little mini games thrown in,
Super Pinball is actually quite enjoyable.
While there may not have been any great games this episode, we have no paucity of terrible games.
Matou no Houkai: The Hero of Babel
He even jumps like Simon Belmont.
The one game this episode that rubs me the wrong way,
Matou no Hokai is from the good folks at Carry Lab, who had previously brought us
Mystery Quest, a clever little game which owed a huge debt to Super Mario Bros.
Matou no Hokai, on the other hand is a terrible little trifle that shamelessly rips off the
Castlevania games. And when I say "rips off..." I don't mean "inspired by...." So blatant is its debt to Castlevania that not only do you get powerups by destroying wall-mounted torches and smashing blocks in walls, but the first boss is the
goddamned Grim Reaper! He even throws sickles at you!
To get an idea of what
Matou no Hokai is like, just imagine
Castlevania with all the good parts taken out (atmospheric graphics, great music, fun boss battles) and all the bad parts left in and magnified (stiff controls, annoying and hard to hit enemies), and then throw in some brand new problems (clunky menus, the fact that one minute into the game you have to grind for XP.) Needless to say, I don't like this game.
Super Dyna'mix Badminton
From VAP and sometimes Nintendo collaborator Pax Softnica, we have this incompetently made badminton game. Just how lazy were the game's developers? There is an option to choose the sex of your player, but apparently no female player sprite was ever created: All players are represented with the same masculine looking sprite. Considering that the box art used the image of a pretty young blond woman, this omission is a little odd.
Kujaku Ou
Killer Mermaids.
Based on a manga, animated film, and live action Kung Fu film (!),
Kujaku Ou is another poorly executed attempt to combine a
Portopia style adventure game with an RPG (see also, Square's
Cleopatra no Mahou.) SMS aficionados might think
Kujaku Ou looks a little familiar -- it was reworked as an action game and released by Sega as
Spellcaster.
And the rest:
Reigen Doushi/
Phantom Fighter
When I started Chrontendo I had no idea that I would encounter multiple games based on jiang-shi AKA Chinese hopping vampires. Yet,
back in Chrontendo 22 we had
Kyonshiizu II, adapted from the Japanese version of
Hello Dracula. Now we have
Reigen Doushi, the official licensed game of
Mr. Vampire, which is pretty much the greatest movie ever made. Improbably released in the US under the name
Phantom Fighter, the game itself is nothing special. But it is kind of cool to play as a Lam Ching Ying.
Kame no Ongaeshi: Urashima Densetsu/
Xexyz
You ride into battle on your flying lobstermobile.
Another obscure game that received a US release despite its heavy Asian subject matter. The Japanese game is based on the legendary turtle-saving fisherman Urashima Tarō. Much like Toei's
Mr Gold from Episode 33, the plot of this Hudson game essentially just "Urashima in space." Hudson was apparently at a loss on how to market this in the US, so they changed the title to some random gibberish and renamed the hero as "Apollo."
Xexyz is a pretty slick looking game that alternates between platforming and shootemup stages. Developed by Atlus, it resembles 1987's
Bio Senshi Dan; both titles are near-misses. Some weird jumping mechanics, a few bugs,and general lameness in the shmump levels prevent
Xexyz from achieving greatness.
Maniac Mansion
A port of the classic LucasArts adventure game -- but not the version you are used to seeing. Two years before LucasArts and Realtime developed their own version for the NES, Jaleco took a stab at it themselves. The 1988
Maniac Mansion was only released in Japan, and didn't experience the same censorship issues as the later US release. However, Jaleco's game suffers from a general lack of personality in the graphics, and the fact that multi-screen rooms are compressed down to a single screen in size. While hardly an ideal port, it is kind of cool to see an alternate version of one of the NES' most popular games.
Kick and Run
A harmless little port of a virtually forgotten Taito arcade soccer game. After having played this, I wonder if this formed the template for
Soccer League: Winner's Cup from last episode. The two games look and handle very much alike.
Eggerland - Souzouhe no Tabidachi
Remember how we had a new
Eggerland game last episode? Well, here's another, this time for the Famicom Disk Writer. This shorter, easier game is the budget release in the
Eggerland series.
Hototogisu
Our requisite Sengoku-era strategy game. This one's from Irem and looks pretty well made. If you want to see
way more
Hototogisu than I can offer, this guy has a
30+ part Let's Play on Youtube; though it lacks any commentary.
Famicom Meijinsen
Pretty good graphics for a shōgi game.
A shōgi game from SNK. I don't know how well it plays shōgi, but it has lots of options and charming graphics.
Konamic Tennis
The aforementioned tennis game from Konami.
Another episode down! Next up is Chronsega episode 6. Then its back to Chrontendo for what's going to be one whiz-bang episode. Until then, don't forgot to
check out episode 35 over at Archive.
*There seems to be some confusion whether they are alligators or crocodiles. The manual calls them crocs, an animal not found in the Louisiana Bayou. On the other hand, they seem to aggressive to be alligators. Maybe Gordon, the "Gangster King of Bourbon Street," had crocodiles specially flown in to put in the swamps surrounding his mansion.
