Sunday, April 15, 2012

This Week in Odd Sexual Inuendo

If there is one bright spot in being forced to drive a daily commute through heavy traffic, it's that you get a chance to read some of the silly, offensive or just plain confusing stickers people put on the back of their cars. The other day I noticed one of those enormously macho "work" trucks (a Dodge Super Duty, though based on its pristine appearance, it had not been used much for actually hauling stuff around ) with a funny sticker in the rear window. It said "Team Backyard Boyz" in a jagged, extreme-looking font, the kind of font used by energy drinks or metal bands. Now I'm 99% sure that Backyard Boyz is a local youth baseball team with a rather unfortunate name. But I can't help but think that there simply has to be a "Dirty South" gay rap crew with that name. I mean, some underground gay rap group from Houston or somewhere must have already taken that name.  Hopefully the owner of that truck isn't too sensitive to double entendres.

To top it off, directly in front of the Dodge was yet another over-sized truck, this one covered with stickers containing very deliberate inuendoes. The guy must have been a deep water fisherman, based on his stickers. One was shaped like a fish and read "Size Matters," while his vanity license plate read "GO DEEPR." At least its not as bad as those rubber testicles guys hang off the back of their trucks.

Why???
In more endearing news, Ruben Kraken has resurfaced and updated the Chrontendo Episode Guide, to Episode 13, at least. I assumed the fellow had disappeared into the void and had put the creation of an internal episode guide on my to-do list (along with updating the game list.)

Chrontendo Episode 44 will be a little different than the last few, since it will feature fewer games, but will be stuffed with some major bonus content. It will contain a couple notorious games, namely A Week of Garfield and Rare's Taboo: The Sixth Sense. To complement Taboo there is also an obscure, weird Japanese game based on psychic phenomenon.  To balance this out, we have a few really good, solid games, including a cult hit from Technos Japan, so Chrontendo 44 will not be the utter clusterfuck that Chronsega 7 was.

15 comments:

Duke.Togo said...

I was just going to ask about a list of titles and their developers. I see the spreadsheet, but it only includes publishers. I hope that episode guide gets caught up :D

Christopher M. Sobieniak said...

Some people never grow up.

Anonymous said...

It is when I see those fake testicles hanging off of a vehicle that I wish I had a gun to shoot them off with.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Yeah, whenever someone claims that it's unfair to joke that people with oversized vehicles are compensating for something, all you gotta do is point to flippin' truck nutz. That there is some subtext becoming text.

matt.mcneely said...

I Google searched Backyard Boyz and it appears to be a paintball establishment. That makes even less sense than a youth-based intramural baseball league.

glown said...

speaking of energy drinks and bumper stickers, apparently every other car in this town has monster logo bumper stickers. it's almost as if monster ran a promotion, "decals for rednecks." i hate this town.

Kevin "k8track" Moon said...

It would really be interesting if someone ran a cable from the faux 'nads to the vehicle's horn, so every time you kicked the truck's "family jewels", it would honk in pain. Also, society would slowly die just a little bit more.

mercatfat said...

Will this also be the episode where we finally reach Holy Diver? That and Week of Garfield are two upcoming games I'm really looking forward to hearing you review, in selfish part since I'm the proud (?) owner of physical copies of both.

Holy Diver's difficulty is quite crushing, though, so I hope it doesn't keep you out too long in the midnight sea.

Doctor Sparkle said...

mercatfat - You hit the nail right on the head with Holy Diver. I had never played it before, was looking forward to it, and have now been chastened by its punitive difficulty. I've made it to level 4 and am now feeling its satanically inflicted iron chains pulling me below the surface...

mercatfat said...

Getting to level 4 is still pretty darn good. I've thrown that game at people who are extremely good at games (and I do mean good, like one who can clear Ninja Gaiden in 13-14 minutes consistently, and one who can beat such as Battletoads without dying and while intoxicated good) and that level had even them jumping off the tiger.

The lack of any licensed Dio tracks in the soundtrack was a bit of a letdown, though.

Doctor Sparkle said...

I am hereby instituting a ban of all quotations of Dio lyrics until Episode 44 is safely behind us.

I'm been exploiting save states for that game, but still...it makes me want to throw my controller and yell at the screen.

Ruben Kraken said...

Hey! Thanks for the shout out for the episode guide. Added episode 14 and... something really classy.

I know you will find it most excellent.

Doctor Sparkle said...

Ruben - So it's come to this.... Well, it's better than using goatse or something for the background.

Hmmm... maybe I should get some nuts for my Prius. Maybe that will be next big thing: sending mixed messages with your car. Put on a "CoExist" sticker, maybe add a hatchet man sticker and a Rockstar energy drink logo....

Kevin "k8track" Moon said...

I'd like to see someone put a "My honor student is on FIRE!" bumper sticker on the back of a Pinto.

Earl The Third said...

We have a problem with "Truck Nuts" (proper noun?) in my area. A good way to make the problem seem a bit better is to go to the local hardware store and buy some blue spray paint.

I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in several of these cases of opportunistic recontextualization.