At a restaurant recently, I heard a video game based conversation at the next table ("Wait a second, Dr. Sparkle," you say. "I thought you were unemployed! Are you telling me you are using my taxpayer dollars to buy fancy-ass hamburgers and overpriced beer* at some bistro!?" Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you.)
Guy: So I was playing this video game, called God of War, and there's a part where you have sex with these chicks. Like, you turn the controller one way, and this girl's top comes off. And then you press a button and you start going at it...
Girl (laughing): Wow, so, it's like a porno video game?
Guy: Well, it's just that one part. I didn't even know that would happen.
You have to imagine the conversation in frat boy/fashion victim girl voices. I'm guessing... God of War 3, maybe? I assume there's a sex mini-game in that one? It's always interesting to hear non-gaming geek types talk about such things.
And I'm working on Golvellius, so Chronsega 6 will be ready really soon, I swear.
Alright, so a "couple days" have passed, and no new Chronsega! I'm still working on Golvellius! Don't blame me, blame Compile for making a Zelda clone, where every single item in the game is hidden. And I didn't get any work done today, either, as I was out and about (among other things, seeing Black Swan.) But it's worth it, for as Sgt D says, you can count the good SMS games on two hands, and Golvellius is one of those games.
But seriously, Chronsega 6 should be ready in few days. In other cool news, qaylis/Kahless GOA (is there an explanation behind that name?) has pointed out the very recent release of a prototype for Square's Aliens game for the FDS. Aliens has got the be the oddest title in the Square catalog -- an MSX game based on the James Cameron movie. Yes, it's actually an official licensed Aliens games from Square. A Famicom Disk System version was produced but never released. Thanks to a dedicated individual a prototype disk was acquired, dumped and released. This has actually been a pretty good couple of months for prototype releases: aside from Aliens, there has also been a Legend of Zelda prototype, and Baldur's Gate for the Playstation.
It's not clear why this game takes place in the outdoors with a mountain range visible in the background.
I'm not sure how I'll work in unlicensed or unreleased games in Chrontendo, though I'd certainly like to cover stuff like Aliens. Half of the fun is seeing terrible early work from companies that later when on to bigger things.
Episode 6 of Chronsega, the Sega Master System counterpart to Chrontendo, should be up in a few days. This new episode is simultaneously running a bit early and a bit late. Early, because it seems I just released Chrontendo 35 a few days before Christmas. Now, New Year's has just past and a new episode is already coming up. I guess that's pretty quick by my normal starndards.
But it also feels a little late since this is taking just a wee bit longer than the average Chronsega. Why? Let's face it: the typical episode of Chronsega features two or three interesting games, padded out with some generic sports titles, some light, goofy stuff like Galactic Protector, and a bunch of crap. Chronsega 6, on the other hand, is stuffed with big, important games: Shinobi, Rastan, R-Type, Captain Silver - and to top it all off - frickin' Golvellius! Throw in a decent baseball game, and some lesser know action games such as Spellcaster and Lord of the Sword, and you've got one super-packed episode.
Time to ride the wild, red worm!
So give me a few days to finish this thing up, and we'll see how it goes.
I figure I'll not dick around after New Year's Day and get Chrontendo off to a good start in 2011. First of all, I hope everyone had a good, or at least safe, New Year's. For all you young folks out there: enjoy it while you can. Once you reach a certain age, a certain amount of existential dread kicks in every time you pull down a calender and put up a new one. This is generally accompanied by a thinking, "Holy Fucking Shit! It's 2011! How is that even fucking possible?!"
And thanks for the comments wishing my father-in-law well. I have pretty ambivalent feelings about the situation myself, for a number of reasons that can't be discussed here. This is, I believe, at least the eighth time he's been admitted to the emergency room in the last 12 months. After a while, a certain numbness sets in when it comes to the man's health issues.
It's tempting to kick the year off with some sort of look back at 2010. If you perused the online gaming media at all recently, you're sure to have seen countless "Best of 2010" lists. After reading such lists myself, I realized: I haven't really played any new games recently. There are lots of things I would have liked to have played, such as the new Kirby and Donkey Kong games, but that simply hasn't happened. I'm sure many of you have gaming "backlogs." Since much of my video game time is consumed by Chrontendo, I've pretty much fallen out of the loop when it comes to newer games. Thus, the Chrontendo 2010 Awards has only one category:
Best Video Game Themed Music Video
What else could it be other than "Who's That? Brooown!" by Das Racist? Was there even any real competition?
While clearly based on Sierra adventure games, "Who's That Brown?" manages to squeeze in references to tons of old-school NES and arcade games, and even the ancient computer game Snake. There's even a flash game that goes with it. Das Racist, I salute you.
The one modern game I have been playing recently is none other than Dragon Age. Like any Bioware game, it tends to mix in great voicing acting, plot twists, lots of dialog options, and the ability to act like a good guy or a total dick at your discretion.* Naturally, Bioware tosses in plenty of long loading times, bizarre interface design decisions, and a handful of "how did this get past QA?" bugs. The most consistent bug I've encountered concerns the wheel-like interface that pops when you want to use an item or cast a spell. This freezes the action while you go through the various sub-menus, and make your selection. After closing the menu, the action starts up again, and you then move your character around, attack enemies, and so on. Not infrequently, when opening up this menu at the start of a battle, a huge glitch occurs where the action continues while the menu is open and freezes when it is closed.
This prevents your main character from moving or attacking and will generally result in needing to reload, even though it can sometimes be fixed by opening another menu. That fact that the game shipped with a recurring bug like this is pretty amazing. Not the mention the many other infrequent glitches that have been documented. As for the interface, it's a bit baffling that someone making games as long as Bioware has still hasn't overcome difficulties with such basic features as inventory menus. For a detailed and thorough take-down of Mass Effect's crazy interface design, check out this three-part article on Game Design Reviews. Yet... despite Bioware's lack of slickness, we still love them.
In brief:
Here is one of my favorite "Year End Roundup" articles, perhaps one you haven't seen considering where it was published. There's a nice bit of bitchy back-and-forth going on between a few of the critics.
Pre-Sonic Genesis is alive and kicking! After a hiatus of a few months, CJ Lowery returns with two Genesis games. It's nice the see the "list of death," as I call it (due the number of sites that cease updating after being added to the list), has not let claimed another victim. Maybe I'll start putting sites I hate on the list.
And I've received a few comments about the Phantom Fighter ad campaign. I guess the game was advertised in comic books, and those ads generated some attention. Is this the ad in question?
Image taken from The NES Player, a fine site you should all be familiar with.
So what about you guys? Did you play an games in 2010 that stuck out? Any consensus out there about the "big" games of the year: Black Ops, Red Dead Redemption, Mass Effect 2, etc?
*I generally play the "good guy" option in such games. However, I did play Mass Effect last year, and decided to take the "dick" route. It helps if you make your character look like a bit of an asshole.
