Thursday, June 21, 2012

Your Weekly Dose of Comic Book Body Horror

Double good news, I'm back from my very brief vacation in Portland and back to work on Chronturbo Episode 3.

And now that I'm back, what do I find waiting for me on the internet? Why, it's the years-in-the-making sequel to the classic 40 Worst Rob Leifeld Drawings! For those unfamilar the the man, Leifeld is simultaneously one of the most successful and worst comic book artists of the last 20 years; he could be called the comic book equivalent of Nickleback. His work is noted for its gross disregard for anatomy, perspective, draftsmanship and logic.  His characters are grotesque frankenstein-like creations of mis-proportioned and/or missing limbs, all attached to torsos in impossible ways. At times, he seems to literally draw hands and feet backwards, and has an odd obsession with giving characters huge, flat triangular crotches with starburst-like fabric wrinkles radiating from the bottoms of the crotches.  Leifeld has the amazing ability to produce drawings which appear both half-assed and incredibly overworked at the same time.  You would never, ever want to read a Leifeld comic, but his art has an irresistible hideous allure to it, so check out the article here.

The classic Leifeld conundrum: is this a right hand or left?
As I mentioned, I have returned from my travels to the north-western edge of the country, namely Portland, Salem and the surrounding environs. Since I love to take every possible opportunity to cram things that are not videogames down your throats, I thought I'd throw down some vacation photos.

The lonesome beaches of the Oregon coast.

An impressive bridge on the other end of the beach.

These are from a small town called Newport. While in Portland itself, I took every opportunity to try the local beer, and visited the Deschutes Brew Pub and tried a couple of their tap only offerings, one of which was a sour ale called "Mos Eisley." And of course, we checked out Voodoo Doughnuts, one of the nation's premeire weird doughnut shops -- I had the famous Bacon Maple Bar. I didn't take a picture of the place myself, so here's a shot off their website. And, yes, the line is like that all the time.

Portland is full of pervs.
Of interest to some of your people might be the theater next door. You can see the sign on the left side of the photo. It's a theater that shows hentai anime and has some sort of "sexy catgirl in peril" drawing on the marquee.* A completely appropriate neighbor for a place that sells donuts with names like "Triple Chocolate Penetration" and "Butterfingering."

For you videogame fans: thanks for your patience. Sure, Chronturbo 3 is taking a while, but it will be worth the wait due to some technical improvements. Like auto-ducking! Check back soon.

*In fact, it's a historic adult theater that's fallen on hard times. Here's a better shot of the catgirl.


Anonymous said...

I live in Portland and I used to go to punk concerts at that theatre all the time. I knew they switched to hentai but I didn't know they were an adult theatre before that too.

ShaneWM said...

Aw man, you were in Oregon? I would have loved to buy you a beer and talk retro games!

Chris Sobieniak said...

Sad to see such a good theater sink that low.

Canageek said...

Auto ducking? What is that?

Doctor Sparkle said...

Canageek - You would need to check out some of the movies they show at that theater to learn about "auto-ducking."
...actually, it's just a way of controlling the volumes of two audio tracks playing at the same time (voice over and game sounds, in this case.)

Jonathan said...

Dr. S, that was my favorite donut in the entire world you just ate! Bravo sir.
PLEASE tell me you also went to Ground Kontrol while you were in Portland.

Doctor Sparkle said...

There were many many things I would have liked to have done in Portland. I was hanging out with total noe-gamers, and the main objective of the trip was just to catch up with old friends. Next time, I'll prioritize Ground Kontrol! I also hope to head back to Santa Cruz one day and the boardwalk arcade.

Anonymous said...

It's really sad to see the Paris in such a state. I used to work there when it was a nightclub, about thirteen years ago. Hell... I used to actually live there for a while as well. Ah, misspent youth :)

I wonder if there is still an unexplained mountain of mannequin parts in the basement...